EARPHONE PURCHASE GUIDE

DO YOU KNOW WHY I HAVE NO TECH? Apart from that it was my brother that insisted that we were a techno family, and the British princies were jelly of him so they arranged to have him put in a hospital (trust me, when he looks himself – he’s a million times hotter than any guy ever, and the Arabs (being an Arab, I can say “the Arabs”) accepted it and kicked my family out – the British guys just lied. We are all British passport holders – my siblings and myself – and my family on my mother’s side SERVED here, POLITICALLY. We were INVITED by your ROYAL FAMILY to do so. Back when people took your royal family seriously – that was a long time ago wasn’t it.) (you look worse because what is there for me to lie about? They’re gonna have someone hold a weapon to your heads and have you tell the truth about this on live TV so prepare yourselves.) (Wait: the issue with having ‘disabilities’ – my brother is autistic but he is not stupid and he is not out of control either, and he is not a vulnerable dependent. He likes to have fun. What your country has done to my brother and to ME and even to Russell fucking dickhead brand is why the World is becoming a police state 1984 shithole. ITS YOUR FAULTS. WHOEVER RAISED YOU AND FAILED YOU’S FAULT. You will be held accountable. Trust me.)

I am serious about DESIGN.

My room is an earphone graveyard. I know I’m a Bang and Olufsen person but I think you have to shop around before you pick loyalties. Like premature-brand-love (it’s a marketing term, I did a term of an MA in Advertising and Branding and really misjudged the university and didn’t really talk qualifications with my lecturers before giving them the honour of teaching me.) your intuition might be right about a person’s ‘real’ nature but if you don’t know who they like to hang out with or do business with, their personality and their nature doesn’t matter very much.

There are some items that I use consistently. These are items that deserve investment. I need a good laptop from a reputable manufacturer because everything I do from animation and photography to daily entertainment is on my laptop. I need to wear perfume because I am a smoker, and because I know that the bathwater in the UK needs to be filtered before it is used or it will make my smoker’s skin worse. I need to wear good headphones because all I do is listen to music – and I actually do so to meditate.


Edited 19/Aug/19 to add: After posting the Salt N Pepa song I pussssheed the Earphones into my ear. They squidge out so I stay true to my initial comments. But it was a better listening experience.

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These purple earphones are from Tiger. They cost £1 or £2 quid. 4.5/10

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They were inexpensive, but they work with my laptops full volume – although I can hear myself finger-clicking if I finger-click loud enough. So far… they’ve lasted for a month or two. They fall out if I dance, masturbate or walk hard. They were not designed for people that can dance/masturbate/walk briskly. I like the colour and the design, although I don’t like the ‘jelly’ ear piece variety of earphones, and they aren’t hygienic. I have to clean my ears more than most people because I listen to music loud. And if I don’t this happens:

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I’ll still wear them, wax and dust and all, but it’s not-okay.

Also they don’t appear to have a mic so i can take a shit in them.

If I have a boyfriend, we can hold hands on the streets – but I’m still donning my earphones and they’re going to be full volume.

I am certain that either Omar (my elder brother) or I am the reason they have those consideration stickers on buses for people listening to loud music. I can listen to loudish music with them on, although I don’t think they could stand a heavy bass. But for the price that really isn’t a problem for me.

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These are Goji earphones. These are not good. The company don’t even have a website so I can’t link you to them. I’m embarrassed for you, Goji. They were a thoughtful gift though. A sincere try. I give these 2/10. They look good. They are pretty earphones. They make the briefest cameo in this video.

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The wireless/bluetooth function is also great but you can’t go up/down flights of stairs with them. Most people don’t enjoy the music I listen to because they think it’s embarrassing and these degraded slowly – I got the bumble bee vibration fuzz (that I enjoy and I’m sure it helps me when I meditate)

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This is a less attractive design with visible stitching on the leather, which makes them look cheap. I don’t really personally want to see the stitching work on leather. Sometimes it looks good, mostly it doesn’t look good.

These are Jabra “150-years-of-sound-innovation” Elites. I give them.. uh… a very honest and very generous 1/10 because as far as I’m aware, they have charged for fifteen minutes and they are not giving me the promised 1 hour. Why invest in a writer for the manual copy and lie?

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The one out of ten is because they are actually quite cool-LOOKING to wear, although I didn’t test them underwater.

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And I wasn’t expecting that they would look cool on, either. They do not stay inside my ear enough for the music to be loud enough, so wearing them in the SEA would be USELESS.

They are bluetooth, and that means that they can be hacked. But ideally that means they can be remotely fixed too.

I’m going to leave them charging for 24 hours and see if they decide to work a little bit better.


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This is Kylie J and Headphonesty giving you the side eye on my behalf, in the best earphones I’ve ever had. I picked the rose gold ones but these look so fucking good. I’ll get back to the design of them because thats what I struggled with. KYLIE I KNOW YOU DON’T ACTUALLY LISTEN TO YOUR MUSIC USING THESE EARPHONES. BUT YOU SHOULD. WE CAN TAG TEAM THE MOST EPIC FINAL FANTASY MEDITATION CHANNEL OF US BEING SEXY. (With Jane cos Jane is the best.)

I prefer them with the wire in. It might be a generation thing, the wire.

The Apple store in @Westfield gave us some Dre Beats as a gift, when we bought ourselves some MacBooks and an iMac. Lisa taught me to be more selective about the gifts that I accept and these were accepted absolutely without regret, but like Salt N Peppa doing anime, the design is ahead of it’s time.

(Who did Trunx’s look first you ask, a meditation-ESP sesh with babysitter Tupac who came to tell his me that black people did the military-anime look first.)

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..I think they want Sephiroth though..

OMG tHESE i WAnatA BuY ThEsE

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I’ll wear them with these

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I recently went swimming in Brighton with the Dre Beats bluetooth function and the waterproof iPhone 7 model. The iPhone can’t go deep underwater – and that’ll be what sways me to an upgrade.

“this wan goes to elefen” is a Spinal Tap joke. You should watch Spinal Tap. An ex bestfriends dad (the guy who basically runs the show at RADA but can’t fake being gay  to save his cotton socks and still hasn’t written to me about my honorary scholarship) told us to watch it and you need to. Need to. (Love you Hugh)

Anyway as far as sound goes, I choose tinnitus. It HURTS. The first night that you lay your head down on a pillow is terrifying because all you can hear is a frequency that makes it difficult to sleep, but eventually you sleep. It becomes unnoticeable eventually. But it is distressing at first. I saw in an episode of Southpark – written and animated by Jews – that theres this ritual where they place a bell on boy’s heads and bang on it and it induces tinnitus, telepathy and interconnectedness.

Cute styles.

My period stained shoes.

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Oprah said “don’t cheap out on shoes” and that’s partly why I wont buy these, but I do like the design of them. I’d be more inclined to buy cheap shoes if brands were honest about who they copied the designs from. I feel weird buying them now, because I felt that Karl Lagerfeld had endorsed this company – his cat Choupette was following Public Desire on instagram – and that felt like an okay from a fashion GOD that made me want to buy them, and now he’s fucking disappeared. I don’t believe he’s passed away, or the eulogy in Vogue would have been an entire fucking year of mourning. Do not EVER undermine what it really means for a man to have replaced Coco Chanel.

And by the way – Anna Karina the Danish actress’ real name was more Hanne than Anna, and Coco Chanel picked that name. Do you know what I am like about NAMES? I won’t even use a tumblr with a shit-name.

I don’t care whether he’s eloped with Alexander McQueen or not, the coincidence isn’t acceptable. I think that this company is owned by footballers wives and girlfriends and to pretend otherwise is to shit on everything I have fucking worked towards about telling the truth. Do I want these shoes? YES, do I want to endorse these people stealing designs – no.

I feel implicated, actually, in his disappearance, because I ENDORSED THESE. Whether someone bought them because-of-me or not means fuck all. At the time, I felt and even write – “Karl is so0o designing these, he’s doing a shadow-secret-cheap-brand-thats-sort-of-Fendi-but-for-POOR-PEOPLE”, and what is quite scary actually is that I really, really thought so. These women used me to time travel (yes, it sounds pretty stupid to me too but its not MY life we’re writing about) access memories and to access information from the School of Economic Science, who through many stages teach people to ethically access truth through meditation, discussion with teachers and proper guidance towards a life that makes you ethical enough to be trusted with the kind of truths that help you access higher consciousnesses. The idea that these women used me (they did, but it isn’t about me right now) to do these things is absolutely disgusting. It is terrifying.

If Karl and I have anything in common it is that we pride ourselves on the idea that we can be alone, can exist alone, that we take pride in making other people shine. And I think that I feel quite concerned deep down that he was abused by people who could afford to buy him and his clothes. Not many people can afford a heritage Classic like Chanel – but those women can. And I know that they used to traipse from Fashion House to Fashion House and that while they didn’t have a shoppe that could host Chanel nor Fendi, they could afford to arrange fittings and to meet him. I am genuinely worried that something was done to him and that it is being kept secret. The French police are not renowned for their honesty, nor are British police. Nor any really.

Why these colour palettes @publicdesire? What inspired you originally? If you are a designer this is exactly the kind of thing you need to know. If you are a designer, it is the kind of thing that will keep you the hell up at night.

Why hasen’t (I’m leaving that typo there, ugh) your brand appeared in any real fashion magazines? NO ONE considers GRAZIA a FASHION magazine. It is on par with HELLO magazine, and some weeks after appearing in it, Louise Pentland’s infant Pearl looks completely different. You can look through my memories – I could communicate with that child through a fucking screen. I’d make a face at her and she’d make a face back. She’d cry for no good reason (believe me, I’d know vibrationally if your baby was crying because it was SUFFERING) and I’d shout “CHUT UP” and she fucking chut up (I’m sure my kids through time and space would say “that is so her”, because thats 50% how I speak to things that I love.) and now she looks like a bloated version of her father and I know Louise is too polite to say anything about it but these women, and my “sister” and her friends need to be stopped. You can observe my memories to see me walking through the streets of Denmark on my toes because the ribbons on my shoes kept coming undone and some time later I saw her – A BABY – doing the SAME THING. WALKING ON HER TOES. And then there’s the segment in Louise’s video where she wouldn’t crawl on her knees, she did a military push/pull thing and I communicated that it was painful for babies to learn to crawl on their knees.

It’s so weird, there was this thought journey I took listening to music awhile ago where I was asked by an air hostess I recall meeting at an Emirates interview who asked “if you were asked if you’d give up your body for a ‘better one’ would you accept?” and I can’t help but think that baby agreed to something. I am secretly concerned that my sister and her friends are preparing alternate bodies (YES, it CAN be done) for themselves because when you realise what they’ve all done – you’ll all want them dead.

Cos people really weren’t wearing nudes until I brought a collection of pieces in tie-dye skin tones and khakis back from Syria, Penelope and Monica Cruz did a collection for Mango – which had also been gifted to me.

 

 

 

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Today has been busy.
I wrote lots of letters, paid a bit towards my council tax (I’ve been keeping my payments in-advance and that’s working for me. I’m trying to employ a “if you have a tenner, put a pound towards your council tax” agreement with myself. But today I wrote to the council because I don’t think they’re quite offering adequate information as to the distribution of the money.
I’m deeply uncomfortable with the fact that there has apparently been an increase in the police workforce. I’d like to know exactly what kind of crime is committed in Brighton – that might justify that decision. Is it the police cuts in London? Have the London Police had to move out of London to afford to live? Is it those pesky gays men selling XTREME poppers or – no – not WEED? COKE? MDMA?) aaand most importantly I received a new deodorant in the post.
It’s an item that’s been endorsed by Doctor Jane Goodall.
She did a lot of very cool things and continues to do a lot of very cool things. She inspired the character for the mother in Mighty Joe Young and when I was little and I used to pretend that I had a kind and intelligent mother I would hum the lullaby in it to myself. If you do not know who Doctor Jane Goodall is you will learn a little bit about her in the email I sent to the deodorant company that I feel did her a disservice with their packaging and otherwise did a pretty poor job of marketing that she had let them use her name.
I’m not entirely certain that the people who are selling these deodorants knew who she is.

 

Hi guys! Gals?

Thanks for the product. It did arrive. And it was packaged. I guess.

I wanted to alert you to the two broken links at the foot of the email you sent me, to inform me that my deodorant had been delivered. I’ve included it below, please do scroll down for a reference.

My new item has been lovingly placed beside me, I used it the second it arrived.
But back to those links: I was hoping for some ‘natural’ beauty hacks at the suggestion of Professor Jane herself.
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I imagine your company made the most of the opportunity to meet and do business with Professor Jane – a woman who has helped us to understand and conserve endangered animals that are so precious to our Planet.
I’m sure that you’re aware that she has lived amongst wild animals, so that she could study them in their habitats, and that she was probably amongst the first twenty or so British women from a humble background to have ever been given a doctorate for her contributions to the environmental sciences? I had also rather hoped to read some eco-friendly showering tips from someone that has had to be so precious about resources like clean water while living in the wilderness, and sometimes quite alone too. It’s just: there was no reference to the fact on your site and the efforts made to sell the product were quite minimal. It must have come across as quite rude and poorly researched actually.
Did you also know that she might’ve been the first person in the World to document evidence that primates are capable of using tools to acquire food – the way primitive humans might have done so?
It’s a shame the links aren’t working because I imagine they serve as some kind of extended dedication on your fantastic little site to feature a woman that has done so much for science and other women.
Please let me know when you’ve fixed the links.
I’m sure you’re aware that I did visit your site and endorse your product because of an interview of hers, and I really don’t have that kind of money to be spending on deodorant (I already have one that comes in a glass bottle) – although I do know that the products I like to use often end up on the shelves of the shops I frequent – so I look forward to testing it. I think it’s of great importance that products void of damaging chemicals and carcinogens are available to all – whether I am inclined to want to be friends with them or not.
As the products are au natural, I was quite curious at the idea of there being some way to preserve them so that they remain in good condition. How are the ingredients in the deodorant preserved if they’re all natural? I know natural products are fast to degrade.
I’ll be updating my blog kariii.co with my thoughts on the product too, so I’d value any contributions you can make to helping me write something interesting about your product.
Also: I’m going to offer some advice: fire the person doing your marketing. It’s not their line of work, they were desperate for a job. Please let me know if you need someone to do graphic design or packaging design for you, I’m looking for a quick job and I’d love to add your brand to my CV. Speaking of which – here’s the URL. https://kariii.co/cv/
I’m embarrassed at how I envisage you must’ve come across speaking with Dr Jane and I hope my suggestions will help you fix it.
Love Karina
In the event that the staff come across this post: the art on the box is not good.

Did you know that Dr Goodall sells primates artworks on her site?

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You should have asked if you could incorporate some of her Chimp friend’s artworks. I read the blurb on the box, accompanying the deodorant. I very nearly cried at the rudeness. Do you have any idea what she’s done for women, women pursuing education, women pursuing the right to work with animals or be scientists?
Do you know that she gave the animals NAMES? Before that: their personalities and identities (part of the reason we accept that animals have those is because she has DOCUMENTED IT) were reduced to numerical figures.

RESPONSE

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And mine:
Dear Madeline Mosco,
Thank you so much for responding so promptly. I am no beta tester for your site but I did notice the last time I accessed the links provided at the foot of my previous email that there was a UK section of your (is it yours?) (Oh I just checked, you’re the zendesk (?)girl(?) site that I had been automatically redirected to, perhaps only U.S residents can access the pages. In any case you are welcome for the heads up. If you do intend to have a UK section of a site which can only be accessed by residents of the United Kingdom, do you think it might be wise to have a resident in the United Kingdom to do the aforementioned beta testing? Are you new to the internet?
I don’t think Dr Goodall’s ‘bathing habits’ was the crux of the insinuation you ought to have paid attention to – although I would be interested to learn her survival habits in the wild. She tends to focus, in her various seminars, on the animals that she has dedicated her life to – and the welfare of the locals in the countries that she visits for her work.
I think – and it’s possible you missed the point entirely – what I was trying to subtly draw attention to was the fact that you have a showering tutorial and a tutorial for applying deodorant at the foot of emails thanking people for buying a product with her name on it and that the links were broken. Which makes you look quite stupid.
I also think it is quite stupid to attempt to pretend that you’re responsible for supporting her work, as if the use of her name didn’t invite a host of consumers that wouldn’t of otherwise had any reason to purchase one of your deodorants.
At both the peak of this email and a peek of your ingredients, I noticed that you’re right, there’s no water in your deodorant. (I’m not a scientist but I’m quite certain that all carbon has some water in it but I do appreciate the info, I’ll be sure to paraphrase your statement in my blog, Madeline Mosco.)
Can I ask, is there an optimum body temperature for the application of your deodorants? Will they still work if I’m cold?????????????
God bless you Madeline Mosco
I can tell you’re absorbed in my show and it means a lot to me.
Oh wait final question – coming off that peak – what exactly inspired Schmidts to contact Doctor Jane Goodall?
Thanks

STOP PRETENDING YOU CAN DO MARKETING IF YOU CAN’T DO MARKETING.
Here is a great route if you want to market things to sell things:
– Know what you want to buy – not what you LIKE to buy – but what you really, really, really WANT to buy
– Know why you really want to buy it
it is probably because of the packaging
– Study art. For a long time.
– Study graphic design. For a long time. Look at EVERYTHING and decide what you like and then spend literally weeks trying to emulate it
– Then THROW THE EMULATION AWAY because it is COPYING
– Study literature. FOR A LONG TIME. Have a vocabulary that is all of your own.
If you adopt words and phrases from shows, don’t forget the shows. They’re amongst your many inspirationseses
– Know about lots and lots of different things, so you have a DIRECTION in the event that you want to study marketing later. So you MERGE those ideas and concepts together.
And so when you try to dialogue with people about the work you like, and your INSPIRATION, you don’t sound fucking retarded
Anyway. So. How you butchered Professor Goodall. From a designer’s perspective.
Floral packaging, because it’s a floral scent. Okay, okay lets go with it.
Why that shade of green?
Why those fonts?
Why did you create a border with the flowers?
Was it some kind of nature of chaos versus order of the intelligent designer statement?
Did you design it with your mouse cursor? Can you actually illustrate flowers?
no – no wait one sec
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Did that packaging happen to be accompanied by a huge, huge sketchbook (or many, for the prices of the items, I should think) where you explored the potential for every mark made for every single flower?

It took you five minutes, lets be honest.

I believe I might’ve written about the abstract movement on my children’s tumblr – if not I’m glad I have something to add to it. Illustration is OCCASIONALLY a caricatured impression of reality, but that “style” comes AFTER you’ve learned how to draw PROPERLY.

I appreciate how easy I’ve made it look but as I’ve said before – I spent my LIFE doing art. AND I AM STILL TERRIFIED BY THE PROSPECT OF EVEN CONTEMPLATING APPLYING FOR A CAREER DOING IT.
I have spent HOURS of my life just staring at things trying to find the perfect framing for a COMPOSITION. Did you know that composition in the arts and in film is an art of it’s own?
There are people who are so taken by the placement and position of every single aspect of a composition that they have composed their PHD research on it. That is a lot of words to write – and probably read, too.
Do you know that some pieces of art – REAL ART, BY ART MASTERS – can be translated into mathematic principles (the kind of maths that doesn’t make any use of numerical figures) and scientific equations?
You call it ‘cropping’ because the internet has made it all so easy for you but it’s something art masters probably lost HAIR over. It had THAT much meaning to them.
When you study art – it’s grrrrrrreat for personal expression. EVERYONE should do it. I think we all evolve a little more every time someone does a drawing with any kind of success.
It’s great if you can draw and scribble. It’s FANTASTIC. Does that mean you should be doing it in exchange for cash? Probably fucking not. It’s a hobby.
There are talented Arts graduates who are in crippling fucking DEBT – regretting going to University to study the arts because its not making them the living that they deserve. Arts academics reduced to the same salary as the lazy sixteen year old secondary school drop out, serving cheap coffee to rude customers, forced to have uninspiring and repetitive, scripted conversations about food they’re not passionate about selling or otherwise personally invested in because those companies can’t trust individuals to have polite conversations in a shitty uniform (it’s what happens in a society that makes celebrities of uneducated, uncreative, untalented inner-ugly people and then relies on the sub-economy of such a stupid fucking decision that said bureaucrats made because CLEVER people with money is THSCARY), in uninspiring, shitty fucking cookie-cutter franchises – independent cafes (the kind most artists dream of working at but very, very rarely do) are struggling because people (or do you prefer the term consumers? do you know the term? could you get away with using it conversationally without your peers laughing at you for using polysyllabic words? JUST INCASE THE ANSWER IS NO: it’s an inherently derogatory term that bureaucrats use to dehumanise the people buying the shit they’re trying to sell them) don’t trust that they’re serving people clean food & drink – and franchises can afford to be sued, can afford a nasty testimonial in a broadsheet or two.
It is an insult to Art students when someone just wakes up and decides to invest in themselves being marketed as the next Christian Dior or the next Coco Chanel, especially when the likelihood of that person being INSPIRED to do so was a result of their paying attention to a friend or an acquaintance that had been dreaming of doing that very thing their entire life.
Art students – I mean the real ones, not your friend that found out his/her favourite “softcore porn” blogger is going to an Art uni and decided they could do the same thing – spent their LIVES trying to get an arts education, they’ve DREAMT of meeting art masters that could teach them how to perfect a glint in a subject’s eye. Art students being robbed of the time they dedicated to their studies because of well connected, wealthy people who were ‘too good’ to study for a job they had to emotionally blackmail or bribe someone to get.
Oh wait – or those art students that picked the wrong University because the University had to let in subpar students (budgets) whose standard of work was so poor that they felt GUILTY submitting work or they couldn’t engage in group work because their colleagues didn’t respect that they were superior and so their education fucking suffered as a result of it. (Learning to cope with colleagues jealousy is a whole education of it’s own, I’D KNOW.)
If it “comes naturally” – and I mean, not because you’ve been copying someone or somehow gone through their work and had the audacity to think “oh this is so easy” – with nothing to back up the statement (I mean, sketchbooks? Diaries? A life’s body of work?)
If it really comes naturally, ANYTHING – STUDY it so if and when you do get a job of your own merit – it’s not a fucking insult to all the people that really fucking worked.
“Just because you can – doesn’t mean you should”
Don’t be ashamed if you’ve one of those magical footballer IQs, just stay in your lane. Unless your intelligence is of a variety that our IQ tests cant quantify yet. In which case, dude come be friends with me I need you in my life. (Not really)
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someone give me a few million and I will show you 50 shades of grey. I won’t even invest in new clothes. I’ll wear leggings and boots and a few of my man shirts. I’ll go all out and get my breasts removed. I’ll be the boy of your dreams. I’ll play Levi in Attack on Titan. I’ll keep my flat. I will spend all the cash on helping you learn what 50 Shades of Grey BDSM could be. But first
Remember that I picked the actor in 50 shades of grey, based on the fact that he looked hot doing psycho in COLD MOUNTAIN. I liked his dainty leaps.
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B R I G H T O N

I’m going to be very tacky and announce I’ve relocated to a wonderful studio flat in Brighton in the form of a shopping list. I’m playing around with the idea of authoring a book on interior design.

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Tile Trivet, Picasso’s Ceramics Cafe, Painted by me

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Tulips (Sainsburys, Brighton) sitting in a bottle of Maple Syrup with hand painted gold handle.

If you want to test the tap water of a new home, buy some flowers. See how they react to it.

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Eulogia Coffee Table – (Online) Urban Outfitters, Mint Trunk – Habitat in Brighton, Slate Coaster – Amazon, Concrete Vase – Hackney Charity Shop Find, Gold Metallic Paint (Online) Cass Art, Mickey Mouse hand cream – Superdrug, Oil Burner – Amazon, Red Tassel taken from a perfume I received two birthdays ago.

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I’m doing the energy-redirecting Botticelli’s Venus pose here, my knees aren’t positioned at different heights. Actually if you saw how I was balancing on a chair you’d appreciate how proud of myself I was for balancing so well.

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Bunny Slipper Socks – Tiger, Coat – Jigsaw (Second hand), Striped Knickers – probably from Tescos circa more than ten years ago, Cardigan – Marks & Spencers (Second Hand)

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Frisian Cow Milk Jug – Tiger, Brighton, Tulips – Sainsburys, Brighton

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Lucky Cat Sponge Holder – Tiger, Brighton, Slate Coaster – Amazon, Jimmy’s Iced Coffee – Sainsburys

I look moody but I’m euphoric. Refer to >> this instagram post. << Secret: I stole this joke from a Horrible Histories book – I think it was one about the Victorians.

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The day I arrived, I went out when the shoppes were closing and bumped into Habitat, quite concerned that I wouldn’t find a place to buy things from before closing time. Habitat was open though and had many beautiful items. I bought my new favourite sheets ever. I don’t want to be one of those people that buys a room full of items from one shoppe though, on the same season.

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Oh – and I’m being tremendously military-bohemian here.

P P P P P O L I C E C U T S 4

I woke up with the flu this morning, went back to sleep and woke up pretty much healed from it. I then went to a !!free!! Selfridges Art pop up called The FlipSide, and got to try a fun cocktail thingy. Apparently the cocktail artist (is that what you call them?) is one of the best in the World – he picks a flavour he thinks you’ll like, based on this interactive questionnaire thing. The taste-test was served on something not too dissimilar to a tab of acid, which, ironically, I’d think a person should definitely take if they do visit because the Pop Up was totally that vibe. I don’t need to do acid though

Then I wandered into Selfridges and bought a few things in the Food Hall. My favourite thing about the Selfridges Food Hall is getting to look at all the vibrant packaging. So.. the confectionery. There were all these really innovative Hot Chocolate powders and honeys! I wish I had photographed them, but I left my phone at home and I didn’t bring my camera.

I bought macarons in my favourite colours at the moment. Fuchsia & fade0f (selfridges yellow <3) The other sweets I bought are going in a video for the kid’s channel I’m making. I think it’s important to encourage children to learn how to enjoy eating all kinds of things, to appreciate the luxury of hand-made confection, and buy beautiful pieces of edible art rather than to buy mass-produced sweets that make them ill. I think as a kid I’d have enjoyed a day out with my family, looking for the perfect sweets to spend my money on & dialoguing with the people working in the sweets shops about how they’re made. Conversations like that stuck with me throughout my own childhood.

These were modestly priced (REALLY DELICIOUS – their outer appearance actually does their taste no justice at all) and inspired me to make-an-art. The coaster is Anthropologie, I bought a few of them months ago – I think I saw one on Poppy Deyes’ blog and Vogue Online… & then found them on a shopping trip – also in Selfridges.

I wanted to photograph them in a way I don’t think sweets have been photographed before. People don’t really appreciate ‘noise’ or ‘grain’ unless it’s depicted by one of those old fashioned non-digital cameras so I’ll take what you hate and make it mine. And I think the super-sharp, immaculately lit food photography thing is over-done too. I unconsciously chose a crystal backdrop that looks not too dissimilar to sugar, and I think that is a pretty magical representation of some sugar-esque candyland I’d love to live in.

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At the exhibition there was a brief discussion about how the face of luxury is changing – the definition of it. I walked past huge plastic tubs of water that were back lit and created this fantastic blue glow, if you looked up close you could see little stickers illustrating where the water was sourced. There was a table with complimentary, simply packaged bottles of water sitting on top … and I was told that it was actually a piece about a perfume that is mostly made of water and that fresh water is now considered a luxury item, because apparently it’s limited on our Planet. (I thought it would be rude to disagree with that sentiment because none of my spiritual teachers would agree – but I decided against doing so because I think it’s important to teach humans to value the Planet’s natural resources before teaching them that the Planet actually isn’t limited at all, nature teaches us our most important lessons. When you love & value what you’ve got, you get more and more and more and more… as if out of thin air.)

But I do love the concept of any item being in limited supply. That is an interesting way to teach humans to value something.. once it’s gone, it’s gone. Actually I think that’s how I’ll be dating from now on…

Isn’t it interesting that the luxury market could teach people something so profound through a discussion intended to market a scent?

(The Food Hall is also my favourite because the exit is so close that you can walk out and have a cigarette whenever you feel to.)


Today there was a police woman in a bullet proof vest *sniggers* hovering around me like one of those annoying houseflies, (walks in as I do – COMPLETELY ruining the Selfridges vibe – exits a few seconds after I do, for my first cigarette). Then a boy far better dressed than me asked for some money and complimented my shoes. I assume I was supposed to ignore him but ever since playing Viva Piñata – I really feel like any broke person, or worse – sad, sad person that accepts payment to pretend to be broke has a right to a dream.. just like >> Ivor Bargain <<

I know I know, when you get far enough into “the game” you get weird “actors” approaching you … remember these people that (the Universal you) you employ to communicate with me have lives and minds of their own & whatever faux identity or pretence they employ to speak to me doesn’t impact the exchange of energetic vibration. I’ve walked away from enough situations feeling stupid to fully empathise with a person who walks away feeling stupid (after communicating with me.)

Oh God, and today someone called me “very smart” in a stuttering Borat voice and I pity-pretended to feel flattered

The overwhelming pity I feel towards anyone who speaks to me, I can’t overemphasise

So strange – I had written a paragraph about how I find it so strange that there are supposed “Police Cuts” when in fact, I have never seen so many police walking the streets, in any direction or line of sight – but I must have accidentally deleted it or something

silly me!

(Oh, one of the police men I saw at the petrol station was working as a security guard at the exhibition. I assume that whoever reads my blog and literally uses their limited time on the Planet to interfere with my life would’ve assumed I wouldn’t of mentioned it because I’d sound racist saying they’ve got “the cute, short, bald asian guy” that I addressed about Police cuts stalking me but they’d be deeply mistaken.) Probably some poor attempt to see how I’d tackle “racial profiling”, or is that giving them too much credit? Assuming too much intelligence on their part? Either way.

Cringe.

A G L I T T E R I N G D E C E M B E R

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BRALET | NEWLOOK

I’ve had everything and I’ve had nothing. I have roots in countries where the contrast of wealth spans from infants residing in cardboard boxes to opulence I’ve never seen on, iunno, TV.

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TEXTURED (P??)LEATHER MICKEY MOUSE COIN PURSE BY DISNEY | PRIMARK & FELIX THE CAT CARD HOLDER | ASOS

In the West we follow trends which serve as a “This is what Rich looks like” guide, telling you how luxury or wealth should look but forget that everything has been designed by somebody.

bambi.jpgFLUFFY BAMBI HOTWATER BOTTLE BY DISNEY | PRIMARK

The great thing about studying Art & Design is you kind of get to decide what “expensive” looks like, for yourself – and pricetags no longer mean a thing. I’m drawn to rare things. I’m also drawn to the things others might not want. I’m also drawn to the things that everyone wants but can’t have.

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NIGHTY | LUNN ANTIQUES
BRATHING.jpgCUPLESS CORSET | NEWLOOK

If one’s personal aesthetic can be likened to dessert – I prefer to think of my style as a multi-layered cake, a mixture of ingredients, colours and …condiments…? Ideally a one time combination that hasn’t been seen before. Tacky is my personal sugar. Thats when I’m not in pyjamas, anyway.

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BRALET | NEWLOOK

But really – fancy is an energy. You can go for a week or two without washing your hair and still look fancy if you feel it. I’m sharing a sofa with my chihuahua bestfriend, that might not sound so swanky but in months yet the sofa will be replaced with office furniture & a marvellous bed. I’m starting up four businesses. I’m lucky enough not to have to be working a job just to make ends meet. Fancy is what you make of it. I mean… look at my current studio set up.

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I’m struggling with how many business cards I ought to have printed. I might have a ‘Supreme Sleeping & Napping Queen’ card printed. Has anyone ever done that before??

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GOLD SNAKEPRINT FOIL TRUNKS & HAND BOUND AND >> PAINTED LOLITA LIBRI MUTI (MUTE BOOK) | SLOW DESIGN AND FLORENTINE PRINTING <<

Some of my favourite outfits, looking back on a past-self’s instagram, cost £2 from a charity shop. I remember eventually even giving those up because I felt guilty about looking pretty. People used to really struggle with me posting nice photographs of myself on the internet – as if I ought to be compelled to post bad ones?!
People will always find some reason to make you feel bad about yourself, they’ll seek out some imperfection to dwell on and try to demean you for it – but that isn’t indicative of a problem in you.

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KRYSTAL BY OPHIUCHUS BORN

You really are doing others a favour by trying your best in all your endeavours. Whether it’s making playlists on Spotify, posting stuff on Instagram, blogging… sleeping?? Is shopping one of your greatest talents? I knew a girl who was great at finding things in shops when I was all disoriented.
If we were still friends I’d tell her to be a personal shopper.

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DRESS BY NEWLOOK | HEELS BY KURT GEIGER A ZILLION FASHION-YEARS AGO

As highly contradictory as it might be, in contrast to my pursuit of non-physical – I’m a very visual person. So… when someone perhaps criticises my appearance – and they do – for example, I don’t think it’s even remotely a secret that I get lip injections. Some people think they’re too big. But I love them, so their opinion doesn’t hurt my feelings at all. I have wanted huge lips since I was about five years old.

Actually – if you’re deeply non-physical there are plenty of arguments I can give you to validate plastic surgery. First: the body really doesn’t matter. Secondly: taking action to bring yourself to a higher state of self love sends out an energy that makes other people feel comfortable loving themselves too. I mean, your friends might be a bit jelly but energy work isn’t best observed by your friends responses.

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CHOKER BY NEWLOOK | BROKEN NAIL EARRING TURNED HAIR-BUN CLIP BY ZARA & INSPIRED BY A MISSING BRACELET OF ALFIE DEYES’ | PERFUME BY LALIQUE | OBLONG STICKERS BY MOO | COFFEE, HEMP MILK & PINK STRAW IN MOTHER’S WAITROSE MUG | SEQUIN CUSHION FROM HONG KONG VIA AMAZON

I’ve learned the beauty of having nothing to define you – friends, material belongings, even self esteem. But it was my fear of being alone that was the most damaging.  I’ve had a hard time with that. Isn’t it ironic that a person could have a fear of being alone and also be an escapist? I think that what is understood as addiction stems from a fear of being alone.
I think that would upset people to read, I know I’ve engaged with people in recovery who might’ve found me quite blasé/ignorant/stupid but I actually grew up with someone perceived as an addict. When I was around three or four I used to intuitively manage to locate where my brother had stashed his drug paraphernalia.

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EMBELLISHED JUMPER BY NEWLOOK | BAMBI SOCKS BY DISNEY FOR PRIMARK

There was a time I would wake up and go fly into a rage if I couldn’t smoke a joint.. the issue was really that I was in a lot of pain and weed killed that pain very successfully. I spent five years of my life stoned. I do think you can have addictive behaviours, you can even say they’re genetic – but that perpetuates a blaming-others cycle which I also disagree with.
I really think you can change the behaviours, cycles and traits inherent in your genes & I think that the future will prove me right. Would you believe me if I told you I was meditating on my breasts getting bigger!? And that it’s working!???! (Still want a boob job, tho.)

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BAMBI SOCKS BY DISNEY FOR PRIMARK

It’s surprising how upset a person can get when you imply something along the lines of – you aren’t an addict, you have some holes that need filling that stem in childhood-boredom. It’s like the recovery program finds something positive in reassigning a person’s identity by forcing them to admit they’re an addict. Fucked up, to me, to be honest.

What the term addiction really means is you’ve been brought up by people who’ve been brought up by people who’ve been brought up by people that don’t know how to cope with themselves. And anyway – life without vices is … hella fucking boring.

If you’re good enough fun and you spend some time with an addict, they probably won’t do the thing they’re addicted to as much. It’s not a reflection of you, it’s a reflection of how much fun that person’s inner child needs to be constantly having. You are not responsible for being a person’s source of fun or enjoyment.

If an addict were looking to me for advice – I’d say to focus on admitting you never learned how to have a good time alone & learn how to have a good time alone. I find enjoyment in Art, Beauty and finding new sources of Inspiration.

This December has been spiritually and materially wonderful for me. I refuse to feel guilt about the things I’m manifesting. As it has always been – they probably cost a lot less than you think: but that is far from the point.

If you are fortunate enough to have a financial means that affords you an expensive taste, you should feel comfortable making your fortunes visible because that influences artists and designers – that means you influence the less-expensive stuff that trickles it’s way down the stream to more affordable places.

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LEOPARD PRINT GLASSES CASE | I’VE HAD IT FOR ABOUT TEN YEARS AND I DON’T REMEMBER WHERE I BOUGHT IT

I’ve been in friend’s council houses and I’ve lived in halfway houses and it shocks me that the government gets away with making people think that it’s cost effective to keep them living like that. The millennial approach to this terrible economy has been to make-do and the result has been a fashionable “industrial” aesthetic thats become marketable as “expensive”. At University I lived with the kind of wealth that buy Dior babygrows for newborns but carried nokia phones (‘Drug dealer’ phones.) Ofcourse if you are wealthy and you’re a drug dealer, the police really have no interest in you. It’s the people who gain power without much wealth that terrify the police. Did you know that?
Culture is stolen from the poor, did you know that?

Lets take it further – the cage-grown-antibiotics-pumped chicken you might eat at a Perfect Fried Chicken chain (like KFC but even cheaper) is not so far apart from the cage-grown-antibiotics-pumped frozen chicken breast being served in air-locked plastic bags at any grocery. The only difference is the price tag, some seasoning (stolen from the poor, at some point) & maybe some kind of addictive substance that tastes -really- good when you’re stoned. In London we have places like Acton, and I-LOVE-Acton, I’m really not hating here, but the price of food is kept so low that these places have a micro-economy of their own that keeps residents in these towns from travelling very far because they simply can’t afford to.

I recall a textile teacher once joking that “Dirty Denim” was inspired by a designers trip to I think Vietnam – they passed by worn & torn denim hung up on clothes lines in a slum. Imagine if – at the time – one of these Vietnamese slum-dwellers learned what the clothes on their back were worth over in the West.

Edited on 5th January to add – case in point! >> Check these “scuffed” Golden Goose Deluxe Brand sneakers on Netaporter. <<

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Fancy is an energy – and an Art. It’s the people that really live that do it best. So. If you can’t buy Art, live and make your own. You never know, you might influence someone.

Whats that quote… the riche have no taste..? 😛 Well maybe..! It’s commonly observed that people prefer artists before they get wealthy. It’s often been suffering of some kind that inspired the greatest pieces of Art – my favourite of my own work (that sounds conceited but it’s difficult to type. In fact I would prefer to be more conceited. It’s so much healthier. I’m sitting beside stock I’ve designed and gathered for one of my businesses and something very deep down still tells me it isn’t adequate!?).
Abraham Hicks teaches that true inspiration, good ideas etc – belong to source. You only have to suffer for your Art if you believe it’s necessary to do so. I spent my life believing that, so .. proceeding a hard time.. I guess thats why it’s all coming together so fast.

This time next year I plan on being a millionaire and I’ll be buying Art exclusively from ‘Poor’ people. I have this inner vision that one of my superhero powers is influence & I intend on using that to decide what sellable-Art is. I want to change the Art world, yep yep.

I know when you’ve learned something from me.

Just had a fun chat with my ma. I came to the conclusion that a practical course studying film is probably the most important degree you can do in these way-of-the-introvert-times. All the information we take in is visual. Whether you like it or not (I like it) we are glued to screens. I see that people won’t take news seriously anymore (those that do) if it’s not verifiably filmed on-location, in real time. Perhaps it’ll have to be interactive. Journalists just aren’t trust worthy anymore.

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Oh. I had another little interior-design related epiphany. 2017/18 Hipsters throughout the world… WATCH FLASH DANCE. We are stuck in the 70s. The 70s are my period of choice but also so is 2018. I want to help influence 2018 chic. This is a bold aim but something to consciously try. ANYWAY – these are stills from that perfect movie.

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B L A C K & G O L D

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Today I met up with Linda & we had a little wander around Covent Gardens. She’s a wonderful photographer from Denmark and she’s moving to Berlin on Wednesday, so I wanted to say goodbye before she leaves. The positive to this is that I’ll have an excuse to make some trips to Berlin?!

I’ve noticed that all the creatives seem to be gravitating towards Brighton and Berlin…

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We visited Jamie Oliver’s restaurant and sat outside in the sun. I found it quite charming and understated, not remotely pretentious. Quite like him, I suppose? The staff were good fun. At one point a bee landed on my finger, I instinctively screamed and a handsome waiter appeared as if out of nowhere to delicately shoo it away.

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Linda ordered a red wine. I stole the first sip and I thought it subtly-sweet.

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She also ordered garlic bread. I stole a piece.

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For her mains she had the super food salad.

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I ordered a mojito.

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And carbs, in the form of ravioli in lemon butter.

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Check out the cutest puffy stickers we found in Art Box! Our inner fourteen year olds swapped phones and we decorated them for one another.

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I think, though, that – perhaps – this little note was the most delightful moment of my day/week/month/year and it’s in a notebook she bought for me that will be sitting in my bag until it’s quite full

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