Professor Germaine @ The Cambridge Union

RECIPE: Bacon, Coriander, (Skinless, sliced) Cucumber,  
Lemon, Mozzarella Cheese, Olive Oil, Caramelised Red Onion 
3x Slices of Toast

This breakfast BLT was inspired by a scene in FRIENDS -
where Ross has an episode of rage in the work place. 
It occurs in a moment of disappointment, during post-thanks giving
season. He exerts trust towards his co-workers by leaving a sandwich 
he had meticulously and carefully prepared, with his TG Turkey 
leftovers - and he includes a 'moist maker' in the sandwich to 
keep it from getting dry. 
 
I share Ross' sandwhich preferences and quite like for bread to be 
soft. 

All I can say is - if you're preparing bacon, it's better soft and 
fatty - and chopped into bits, if you're using it within a sandwich.

In the event my comment gets deleted:

I feel like a lot of the attendees of this speech have never really investigated anything that Professor Germaine Greer actually wrote – for example – she bravely authored some time ago that sexual energy is actually projected by men. This is something that remains undiscussed publicly and it’s dangerous. Nor do the students notice that the clues she offers in this discussion allude to the “WHY” of Arab and Muslim women’s choices to cover up – even when their husbands or fathers or brothers or uncles etc don’t force them to. Even if an Arab or Muslim woman chooses to cover up entirely, I’m still offended by their motivation to do so. That they have to at all – especially in Arabic or Muslim countries where their sometimes religious brethren really ought not to look or sexualise them at all. (Something I saw in that Persepolis graphic novel – there’s a bit where police men pursue the protagonist and berate her for the fact that when she was running, her ass wobbled – she turned around and screamed “DON’T LOOK AT MY ASS THEN” – that still has never left my mind) I feel the anger expressed by two students here is completely justified but that they’ve clearly not been told the truth – what it means when people say that there’s a time for innocence, which is offensive. We all deserve to know and grow from the truth from childhood. There is a time where I’d probably have shared that anger towards Germaine, especially as I love that there are men who feel like their bodies don’t reflect their inner being, but that only calls for society to necessitate the establishment of new gender identities if we still believe we need one at all. I identify as male and have since I was a child but thankfully enjoy that I’m female and that I can exist without having to pay too much attention to the idea of my genitals having anything to do with my identity or how I carry myself or how I dress – at all. I recall when I first heard about Prof. Greer having made a statement that transgender men are still men, even if they have a sex change – (I’m not sure if those were even really her words exactly) I was inclined to be offensive but I couldn’t decide how I really felt about the statement or what had inspired her to say that. When you allow some time – even if it is years – before making your own opinions/getting angry towards other people for theirs – you might manifest a truth of some kind to help you understand their perspective. I don’t really appreciate debate structures at all because if you’re really a deep thinker, it takes you a life time to create an opinion of your own that is worth sharing at all. I learned at University, and far too late – that men are quite capable of leaving their bodies. My Jewish lecturers at UCA taught me about the ‘male gaze’ – that when you regard film, often men and women are watching two very different movies. They said “we have a verse in the Talmud that teaches men to be grateful that they are not women” and I remember then also thinking “WHY?!” – I took the statement only figuratively but later understood there were things that men had not learned at the time about life, and that in not sharing their truth with women our evolution and understanding of Planetary life was stagnant. Fortunately Abraham Hicks and Esther Hicks took me on the next phase of that journey and I learned to be unafraid of the concept and to simply consider that when I think of absolutely anyone, I am ‘sharing energy’ with them. So I am disappointed that Cambridge lecturers aren’t teaching their female students about the male gaze – which I think ought to be an integral aspect of the pastoral care that should be offered to people under thirty five. I’m disappointed that Professor Germaine couldn’t tell the truth bluntly and that it’s still something that has to be implied so as not to incite fear.

CEERWEEAL

How do you inoffensively write a speech impediment?

The video above is a montage of >> Cheese << dialogue, a character
from the kids show on Cartoon Network called Foster's Home for
Imaginary Friends. Kindly uploaded by @Sara Nelowe

Here is a screenshot taken from his >> wikia page. <<

Screen Shot 2019-01-18 at 03.48.59.png

It is 7 minutes to 3AM. My sleeping habits have changed, are not at all in keeping with what society would deem appropriate but certainly, I have improved energy levels. I’m having a cup of Cookie cereal and I think hemp milk. I can’t remember, we’ve about four different kinds of milk in the fridge downstairs (only one of which came from a cow – and that is because I’m having a desert making moment. I’m in a trial and error phase and it’s fantastic because it’s opening all these neural pathways in my mind and that is very, very exciting to me as a person who identifies as a problem solver and strategist by nature.) and the non-dairy kinds all taste the same to me, differing only in that I like the sweeter ones more.

peach is a shade of orange not pink

(I’m also a *ridiculous* multitasker – as in my brain is thinking towards many things at once. Not all of them academically inclined but all of them are always most definitely artistically inclined.)

Screen Shot 2019-01-18 at 03.03.06.png

(I’m creating a categorised system within my note keeping, which is otherwise entirely confusing and a lot of good stuff gets completely lost. A word came to my mind as I was writing this blog post and I had to make a note of it. I’ve had a tab up on my browser about archivists for awhile )

This is what my browser tab looks like.

Screen Shot 2019-01-18 at 03.26.08.png

If my life were a cinematic, a detail oriented/visual narrator type of media student would suggest that the detailing of my tabs probably signifies how I am constantly thinking – all the time. A spiritual person would probably say that my compartmentalised innerbeing’s ADHD is where confusion came in as to my preferred meditation methods.

I woke up shortly before midnight, after taking a nap beside >> El Tintino << (I’ve neglected his twitter but I think it is forever meta appropriate, if you’re inclined to understand his personality) and interestingly enough, he woke me up, without touching me at all – I opened my eyes and I saw he was looking at me. I said “PEEPEE?” and his ears propped up in an acknowledging but in-desperate “yes.” If he had been desperate, he’d of jumped up and off my bed and ran towards my bedroom door. In light of him not being desperate, I grabbed him for a cuddle (which was really that guilt ridden habit that originates for me, as the five minuteĀ  to fifteen minute to half an hour moment in which you plead with yourself as you might’ve done as a child being woken up before having to go to school) and drifted into a little sleep with him beneath my duvet. Ofcourse I later took him downstairs, came back up and listened to h3h3 (I LOVE their purple velvet sofa and the mis en scene) (and working out how Ethan would be if he enlisted in the Israeli military the way his wife Hila did – I also think it’s brave that he talks about God a lot – it is actually very brave for any Jewish person to discuss or allude to a belief in God at all. And their viewers are cruel sorts.) (I admire bravery in all forms) (He reminds me a little bit of a comedy character an acquaintance and I wrote about, based on an assistant teacher who was in charge of my sixthform’s trip to Uganda. He was a fun person to irritate and very inspiring. I later wrote a script for a two to five minute webisode at University. I’ll upload it, I really ought to.)

AND I STITCHED. I’m making a mobile. I mean I have the makings of a mobile in my head. Not because I am infant crazy but because I’ve always obsessed over them as sculptural pieces.

I’m listening to a lot of debates, conferences and discussions amongst literary types. Really in an effort to teach myself how to speak again. I enjoy hearing writers speak, because they put so much of themselves into structuring the delivery of a single sentence. I imagine it’s a kind of compulsion – there was a moment in which a lady discussed it in this video that I’m currently listening to as I author this post, that she witnessed Professor Germaine Greer’s dedication to conveying messages in beautifully written sentences for her books.

Professor Germaine Greer meets the Archivists
uploaded by @The University of Melbourne

I’m moved by Mr Lachlan Glanville’s speech, I’ve only just begin to watch it but as I’ve written many times, a sentence or a ‘mere’ few words can really trigger a very comprehensive thought journey of sorts and in this he discusses that a redefinition of rape is necessary in society. And it is true: I believe that administering any kind of penetration that has not been expressly consented to is for all intents and purposes, rape. For example – an injection that has not been consented to, is rape.

Here is something worth noting to myself: I enjoy paragraphs in which the use of tense – that is past/present/future interchanges and carries no consistency – I can’t cope with it in a sentence yet but in a paragraph, it is interesting. Perhaps that is my inner science fiction buff being seduced by the idea of a narrator, for example, playing with the concept of time travel as they write. It is grammatical incorrectness but don’t you think that there has to be some kind of artistic evolution in literacy?

The question is rhetorical, you give a reader too much significance by encouraging them to think that their opinion can validate or otherwise discredit yours. But I love a good conversation, I find those are lacking in my home.

PROFESSOR GERMAINE

pgg2

The image above, was a photograph taken in the 1970s of Professor 
Germaine Greer.

The image beneath is a self portrait I took in Farnham, around
about the time that I went to a speech of hers at a venue called
the Maltings. 

I had never seen the photograph of her before, but I enjoy the
similarity somewhat. I found the image while listening to a >> debate
she took part in speaking for the motion of Women's liberation << 
at >>Cambridge University<< uploaded by @VagabondWays

I took these stills from the Cambridge site today... [18|JAN|2019]

screen shot 2019-01-18 at 04.12.21
screen shot 2019-01-18 at 04.12.30screen shot 2019-01-18 at 04.12.35

giving me life

dangerous ideasĀ 

In the future, Google Maps will be a virtual reality experience allowing us to explore every crevice of the world. ‘Psychic’ kids will take you to the locations of every imprisoned and sexually enslaved person. When the truth comes out of the male sexuality, there will necessarily be a world where secrets no longer exist. There will be no judgements because there will be no stigma attached to anything that is both informed and properly consented to. There will be less abuse.

Big brother, as a concept, is our reality. Big sister – the counterpart – narratively concerned is inevitable. No closed doors. No secrets – fine – we’ve accepted that. That means you – too – patriarchy.

You want surveillance but who grants you the accountability for a role like that? The you that accesses everyone’s emails, sifts through messages that are so unharmful – such as the exchanges of naked pictures between people in or out of relationships, the you that accesses webcam performances that women perceive as a serious career and yet are not earning proportionately for – those performances are screen captured by many people, and later sold privately for more than the performer had ever considered she could’ve earned for her time, her choice to share her body.

Men and their fathers, realising new extents to their personal relationships that they had previously not considered will no longer be able to trust their fathers unless they can have the same dialogue in front of their fathers and their mothers. Children will not want their familial lives and relationships to be confined to simply two parents – they will want many parents.

Once I was sitting in the box room of my mother’s home, and I opened a conversation with a boy I had been completely in love with for years – from a distance – whom I had upon first glance been attracted to but kept a distance because he was a year and a half my junior and I felt he was too young for me – and with whom I had been intimate but had never had sex with – and my mother and I sat side by side while he appeared on webcam.

Later he said to me “you wanted to show me off”

I had never even considered the idea that my mother could be interested in the boys that I was interested in, ever since I was a child I was repulsed by the notion of being with someone even a few months younger than myself. I had something of an internet boyfriend for a month or two, some six years younger than me (I was twenty eight at the time) and I really, seriously, super-liked him, and I realised that my younger self had been far wiser than my older one. My very first impression is always the right one – that is a gift of mine that I will never go back on. In my company though – people grow fast if they are vulnerable enough to have an open and heartfelt conversation with me, and that sometimes means that they outgrow me fast – too. My mother’s life really did end somewhat at about sixteen years old, so I have to accept that her mind is stuck there.

Years later I learned that that-boys father was revisiting his youth, and had abandoned one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen – for a younger model. Some other me would’ve judged him for that, but I don’t now.

If someone needs a relationship, to continue being able to find hope of life in age (I hear that men truly struggle with that, struggle with the idea of being desirable – get lost in the 9-5, lose some significant part of themselves through never having lived their true dreams) and that in turn depletes their capacity to sustain their familial relationships – to continue performing a role that made them feel nothing of the life they really wanted. That lie, that struggle – the sensible, logical/clinical performance that America would call the ‘nuclear’ family value – has no place in the future. At all.

If the person you lose is truly ‘yours’, and you are truly yours too, you will not be threatened by that loss.

They’ll come back if they grow enough to appreciate what they had with you. And perhaps that might never happen – but your growth will be in learning to release a dynamic that you also must’ve necessarily outgrown for the attachment to no longer be valued to an extent that they’d risk the loss of it.

Can you imagine that no one in my family knows my mother? Growing up with your sole caregiver being unable to have any kind of non confrontational discussion with you means you will be to the world, someone that is equally impossible to ever truly know. I want her to live her life but in her head she’s stuck in a place where the only kind of woman she could find beauty in was an anorexic dancer. Losing relationships and accepting their loss and growing from that loss can make or break your life – but if you can continue to live through a loss like that, if you can continue to choose happiness and continue to choose growth and life (do not allow someone to make your relationship with them the one thing that keeps them alive – EVER) – you will find a new self. You’ll lose some part of your identity for awhile, I know that happened to me many times. But that you will come back from time to time, years later. Life is long. Much longer if you continue to hope for things and work towards dreams. Esther Hicks and Abraham Hicks changed my life – you don’t need to care for the spiritual stuff, only the message needs to have any importance to you – and the message is universal. Live your dreams, choose to find beauty in yourself. The future depends on your ability to love yourself, on your ability not to make someone responsible for loving you in place of your family. And not to make your family responsible for loving you either, no one has to love you except you.

I will never bring a man home again, I would like to leave my home as soon as I can – I don’t trust my sister or my mother. And they never really invited me to believe I ought to. Not to run, running creates new problems – but just because I’ve been taught that is the natural course of things.