the Ceremony of the Enthronement of His and Her Majesties, the Emperor and Empress of Japan

Everything that I find really interesting about myself is a result of Walt Disney’s imagination and the Japanese artist’s imagination: that root-creativity is the stuff of my older brother’s and my life. Everything to everyone I’ve ever met or thought worth meeting.

I do not currently affiliate with the adult industry but that was what I wanted for a significant portion of my life, that was what I wanted to do with my life. I admired (and very much still do) Mary Magdalene, the most iconic “prostitute” archetype that has ever existed.

I’m disinclined to believe she was a prostitute but it’s entirely impossible to be certain of anything unless you ask the person yourself. I probably really, really could but I wouldn’t unless I had a teacher around that could tell anyone who was overcome with jealousy to shut-the-fuck-up. Once I reminded Russell Brand – an Essex boy Jew who once name-dropped Jesus Christ with his mother – that Jesus Christ had temper tantrums in a synagogue and at the time he probably looked insane for doing so.

I’ve learned that if you are a talented medium, you can access the memories of figures in history and confuse them for ‘past life memories’. I don’t know that Jesus Christ really died at all, I have a feeling he didn’t, but I do believe that he could have used figures to communicate his work at times. Russell Brand is probably a medium too, it’s a genetic gift, but I’d sooner believe that he was one of “Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene’s” children. There is a blood line that the Catholic Church keep secret – in any case I believe that Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene and Judas Iscariot represented three figures of a twinflame set and that there would have been many versions of them around the World at the time doing similar work to catalyse evolution.

I don’t believe a Jewish woman could have survived, in that time-period, if she was selling her physical sex. If you’ve ever spent any time around Jewish men, you’d probably agree. She couldn’t of hung out with thirteen or so men and made-money without upsetting them.

However I do know of one account, (One of my spiritual teachers – when we made our initial introductions I asked if she knew of Mary Magdalene and she asked me if I knew of Enoch) told me that the details provided in the bible are wrong) Jesus Christ interfered when a woman was going to be stoned for adultery and that it’s possible that Mary Magdalene filled the space that introduction made in his life.

I was raised in what you’d understand to be a fundamentalist Christian home, I mean there are Christians that go to church every Sunday, there are Christians who go to church on Christmas day – then there was my mother. My mother speaks in tongues and we only ever really exchanged dialogue to have a theological debate. Once as a child I said “do you love God more than me?” and she said “I love God before I love any human being”.

DID I RESENT IT? YES. I WAS JEALOUSE OF GOD. But it’s the only thing about her that I had respect for because I was a very angry teenager, am a very angry adult and interestingly enough I’m great at conveying messages from angels now.

Back to Japan, my vision of erotica is about 60% inspired by Japan and 20% inspired by religious iconography and 20% inspired by catholicism.


Here is a half-naked Goddess Kali. She wears a necklace of severed heads. She wears Jewellery. She hangs out in flames and has piercings. MADNESS.


Your favourite games programmers are either Japanese, Chinese or Korean and if they’re not, then their favourite programmers probably are.


I would like to congratulate the honourable Emperor and Empress of Japan on behalf of the United Kingdom for being my favourite couple and for the Enthronement of His and Her majesties. I know you both know I wanted to be a pornstar so it isn’t awkward, I hope. Actually I’m probably quite kid-safe viewing in Japan and I really appreciate that. (That is a joke, it is an attempt at a joke.) I also always wanted to sell my underwear at those kiosks but I didn’t think I was good enough to do so because the school girls in Japan have much more-awesome uniforms than we do over here in the UK.


I know you two must also know that I’ve always wished I could’ve been a geisha (I am quite frankly not worthy but it’s so important to have wishes) and that I hold Japan in the highest esteem.


Thankyou also, for keeping my generations children in the United Kingdom entertained, we forget that without you we wouldn’t even have Pokémon. Or Yo Sushi. Or grocery-made-sushi Or Hello Kitty. Or Silent Hill. Or Street Fighter. Or the Sims, I imagine. Your country and your artists keep our young people alive and dreaming, I believe. You’re probably entirely responsible, as a nation, for many anorexics trying fish for the first time too. For all sorts of reasons I believe you’re the reason that many of us are still actually alive.

I would also like to thankyou in earnest for hosting my runaway grandmother, Conchi, who I am sure celebrated with you both and the idea of it gives me fantastic butterflies. I know deep down she must’ve spent her entire life wanting to elope to you two and I’m sorry that your generation are so graceful, decent and diplomatic about these things because our whole family would have encouraged and celebrated it.



I W O U L D (S E A S I D E)

Look! It’s future me.

Pendulum - Slam, uploaded by @Shadowrend68

I don't know who illustrated this.
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I need a cute nightdress. I like babydolls. Not hinting but definitelysortof hinting.


I keep seeing online shoppes throwing around the word “kimono” and it’s a bit off. It’s probably offensive to the people who actually manufacture or design them – by hand, most often. A local Japanese artist called >> @Seiko Kato << (she might be one of my new favourite artists – also her photos are so obscured but she’s my new obsession.) purchases and imports vintage, silk, hand-sewn one off Kimono from home – for my new favourite vintage shop in Brighton. If you live in the United Kingdom and you’re interested in buying unique Kimono, please visit >> The Vintage Workshop. <<

I spent a little-too-long in the shoppe trying them on.

I didn’t find the one I’ve had in my mind for years – I need exaggerated sleeves – really, really long ones. But there are lots there that are technically under-garments but would be perfect to wear for going out. If you work for topshop or asos, please stop ruining google (or otherwise pretending you have any place working in fashion marketing at all, actually) by using the word to sell whatever it is you’re selling.


It was not weather appropriate to go wading in the sea but I did. Legs unshaven and everything. There was something in my Jim Al-Khalili book on Quantum Mechanics for science novices about bullets reverberating off tissue paper and that took me on a fantastic imaginative journey. I actually recommend this book, it’s a Lady Bird published non-fiction that skims over various thoughts on Quantum Physics and I sort of wished my GCSE Physics tutor was around so I could debate with him about how outdated it is. It’s all science and no wisdom.


I sat in a Hotel Bar and had a ‘Princess Tea’. I pronounced it Prince’sssssssssss tea. As if a snake were hissing it. I purchased this book from a charity shoppe two minutes away from my studio flat. I made notes, perhaps I will mail it to the Dalai Lama. All Wisdom, to balance the all pseudo-science (there was an assertion somewhere in my quantum physics book about how one of the World’s geniuses stated that we know everything about the laws of physics and I think I cough laughed to myself.)

This photo was taken by the Hotel on the seafront. The service was poor. I make better sandwiches. The desserts – looked – looked pretty – but I was disappointed. I was impressed by a warm scone and the (lets be honest: cheap) jam that had been scooped out of a jar.

It was the first time I’ve truly enjoyed a prosecco though. (I asked for a raspberry and a slice of lemon, I got the latter. I don’t know what plebian Hotel bar slash restaurant – and not the other way around – kitchen doesn’t have raspberries stocked in the fridges??)

(To reiterate – the cheap kind.)

I’m very keen to emerge in the local art scene. There are open house art exhibitions in Brighton and there’s one coming up soon, so I’m trying to put together a few collections of work for my favourite local shoppes. Legs and heels and lingerie scribbles have been me since forever, and cakes, and flowers.


The surface top of my sort-of dining area looks like this right now. I’ll describe them below.


Above – to the far left, a recycled pot of raspberries I think I’ll be delivering to the aforementioned Hotel, with soil and seeds inside – the white stuff is from the remnants of a plant the waves left on the seashore that I used to fertilise my plants and hope to make a kind of compost with. To the far upper right, a glimpse of a gift for my secondary school teacher – who is now a head mistress. A belated congratulations and a belated birthday present – we share a birthdate. I think I’ll be donating some of my art and mythology books to the school library as well as I don’t have the space for them anymore after being legally evicted from my mother’s home. (I know she already regrets the fact and feels retarded for it, I’m waiting for a profuse apology.)

Actually if she comes across this – I do have a song. We used to go on drives through the desert in Dubai listening to this.

@Alanis Morrisette - Wake Up uploaded by @rita

Did you know that you can protect people from their karma?
You'll learn soon enough.

You do pay for it though, even if you're doing a "good thing."

An oil and some seeds I purchased from >>TVW<<. A piece of art I worked on last night. Mechanical Pencil + Water colour + Liquitex Pen + Vintage thread. A white rabbit gift for my spiritual teacher Lisa’s sonnephew. And a moment please – that Guacamole is the best I’ve ever had. And that means something from me – I’m partly southern American. I bought it from a local grocer’s called >>Ricci’s<<.



Sephirot emerging from black materia.


I’m reluctant to share the name of this Shoppe, so I won’t – because I want to buy everything for myself sometime. I don’t know – for certain – though, that people should be purchasing their decorative interiors in London anymore…

Wouldn’t one of these Tibetan-esque Spaniels meets the Chinese Dragon meets Japanese waves look perfect on my sort-of-fireplace?


We’ll see when London remembers to miss me. (A paid scholarship to RADA would be nice. Not hinting.)




I had a busy and expensive evening.

I’m keeping no secrets about this, you know everything I do is exciting.

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Easter Eggs galore.

It is now 6 AM and SPEAKING OF IXTA EGGS: I made one of those horrendously self indulgent breakfasts. I had to take a break in between the salad and the eggs, to have a pre bacon and soggybread cigarette.



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screen shot 2019-01-10 at 06.46.36 < before this point of my entry I was at 77 words.


So – I have spent the last year or so on and off tidying up my room and I’ve reached a breakthrough with my sofa. Have you been watching Marie Kondo on Netflix? YOU NEED TO. I MEAN YOU DON’T HAVE TO OR WHATEVER BUT YOU NEED TO. SHE TAUGHT ME A GARMENT FOLDING METHOD. SHE HAS SAVED ME. #rectanguru

Also ma was really kind about buying Miss Kittie this beautiful pink poodle.


I’m so Cartman’s mom

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meets Mr Garrison.