(The original book cover can be found here, this is the cover I have and I like it.)

Edited to add later: You can tell this book was written by a person that really considers the construction of sentences – almost every page has a beautifully written sentence that you could remove from it’s context and put in one of those foil LIVE LAUGH LOVE prints. I’ve just highlighted some favourites:

“The Green crevasse of Devil’s Duke was a favourite place for picnics and could be easily reached by train; bandstands belted out favourite melodies in the sunshine by the beach and there were large numbers of public houses, pimps, pickpockets and prostitutes of both sexes.”
p.5 #architecture #alliteration-that-doesn’t-piss-me-off

“the married woman did not exist as an individual”
p.16 #legalhistoryofbritain #subtlerage #butnottoomuch

“the distant feminine ferment”
p.18 #again,alliteration #condensedwomanistrage #sentences-condensed-specifically-to-avoid-masked-male-ADHD-or-nagging-or-male-confusion

 I mean. They’re just arty sentences aren’t they, worthy of highlighting. Brown takes heavy subject matter and articulates it in a way that is not imposing (there is a lot of subtle anger towards the patriarchy but she glosses over it so men can read it without hating themselves too much) 

and actually enjoys literature as an art form. It is a really entertaining read for anyone who is interested in British history (so far, a lot about the Victorians), British architecture and also who needs help writing a decent feminist essay because the sentences are that fucking perfect

When I first arrived to Brighton I was appalled at the rudeness of the locals who would say things like “the hospitals da’an the road”, as if to say “I know what happened to you and I’m so misinformed I think I have the right to say things like that” (a silent “thanks for toilet training me, I’m already taking you for granted.” entirely avoided because that rudeness inspired insult and shock, it was intended to and it did.)

I’m reading a book about Women’s Hospitals in Brighton and Hove, by resident Val Brown (I’d imagine that to write such a controversial book you’d assume/adopt a moniker, and that there would have been great lengths taken to prevent it’s publication) and it’s written so far – at six pages and an appendix in, like a beautiful novel. I have never enjoyed someone describing architecture like this, nor has a writer ever written the nature of a town that actually compelled me to google map the address.

I can tell that the author is a humble person, and that she sees potential in the architecture of her town that honours it’s original designers. You’d perhaps be inclined to think that she does the architecture of her town a lot of poetic justice but it is so wonderful to consider a person who has a town that she can call home and regard it with so much love. A likeable person did not author this book, I can tell that much in the few pages that I have read. (But she’s probably a white, British person for a few generations so my most determined of anonymous stalkers can give her a chance too, maybe they will learn something.)

I’ve learned a word I will now employ the use of if I get into a mood


to describe a block of flats. It is also a fancy word. I mean it works both ways. I can use it angrily or I can use it non-angrily and it remains effortlessly elegant, like the author’s writing style.

Apparently though: Brighton was a liberal town, with numerous red light districts that spanned across the wealthier and poorer districts therewith and it was proudly liberal until the latter end of the 1800s when conservatives (both male parties and female, I would never have thought so) were invited to positions of local council.

You’d think conservatives would hate me but actually my family did a lot for your country’s faux royal family and a lot of them, conservative. I’m not. My politics are pretty liberal (because I believe that cannabis should be legalised, if only because most people that smoke cannabis are in very serious pain of some kind – and sometimes you realise you are in physical pain by first acknowledging that you are in psychic or emotional pain. Cannabis is a ritualistic drug that probably could also work wonders for counsellors and psychiatrists who will have to evolve the nature of their profession to an EXCHANGE of trust and information rather than monologues that can endanger their patients, and note taking that can be influenced by feelings of envy and jealousy unacknowledged by the doctors and nurses making them.) but my personality is conservative and so any attempt at being a balanced person really does not make me ‘centered’ either.

Apparently a lot of the hospitals in this town were founded by women, who banded together so that there could be affordable dispensaries that offered locals affordable healthcare. One of those buildings is apparently owned by a solicitor’s now. But Brown’s description of the building was what compelled me to look, actually. She sees the magic in Brighton that I’ve sort of stopped seeing, because the locals are rude. (I lose track of which blonde someone might be defending but it is always, always poorly motivated and always insultingly stupid. And often the people who ‘defend’ the blonde, end up making her situation much worse because if I don’t like someone – it is never without a very good reason. And rarely without my having tried to like them first.)

There’s this bit at the back of the book “the struggle for women to forge a place in public life” and that, is actually what compelled me to buy the book. The concluding sentence. Being ganged up on, from country to country to four street town to town – by people who wanted to be popular – to the point that they could perpetuate some pretence that they did not know I was being raped in that hospital, that I was being given drugs that I should never have been given, tells me that society is not yet responsible enough to remove individuals from their own autonomy.

My spiritual teacher Lisa once told me “if you kill yourself, your next life will be three times worse”, and that was the only thing that saved me from moments of suicidal rage. I know that anyone who has ever accessed that memory will share the belief: that there was no lie in her saying so, and the acceptance thereafter that the idea my life could’ve been relived – and – fuck, three times worse? I spent time with PTSD, I’ve even been told I had ‘psychosis’ (I didn’t, I should’ve been left to the care of a spiritual teacher – and I wasn’t. And I think it was on purpose.) – and the reality of that truth with the sincerity on her face when she said so was more sobering than any ‘reality check’ soliloquy of my entire life. If someone has seen that memory, if they then kill themselves – they were mind controlled to do so.

Hosting briefly, that baby bird, that was determined to throw herself into my window just to attempt to jump off my balcony and learn to fucking-fly-already (she’s a brilliant flier and she does pass by my balcony at perfectly timed intervals – she’s alive and well) but I spoke with my angels, and they insisted that if my concern was that she wanted to kill herself, I ought to let her do so.

What really compelled you to get this book? I was being a dick. Because where I have proven I was only telling the truth, where I have proven that every blonde your British/Danish/EVEN ARABS DID IT society has foolishly defended (as if a single one of you, could do a better job defending that blonde than I could have) that was later found to be outrightly abusing me without fear of consequence, I know that it is not me that should be wasting tax payers monies in those hospitals.

And the findings of what goes on in those hospitals when the doctors and nurses convince themselves ‘you’re the only one that knows what you’re doing’, will affect the lives of thousands of people. How many other women, like me, are in those hospitals because their female ‘friends’ and ‘relatives’ were jealous and the men that they were manipulating used their male-insecurities to support the decision were defending a blonde – to be …popular…?

It is a good book though and it is not boring. I’m a good book judge.

Also I learned to consider that people might be jealous or envious through watching British period movies. My favourite novels have always been British period novels. Ironic, no? Theres this scene where Joseph Fiennes as Lord Robert says to Elizabeth that the women and men that surrounded her were ‘jealous and envious’ and that film was directed by an Indian guy and I really don’t blame my bird-friend for deciding that her first human form will probably be Indian.


  1. flirting with weebs
  2. flirting with weebs that can assess personality files using very little dialogue
  3. inviting 2D Spirits to Visit to Sci-fi priestess medium clairvoyant sorts that are more taken by the idea of being both sexes which is what angels do/are
  4. chatting with the 2D spirits through the clairvoyant for anime ideas and then sending them right back because we are not ready for you here and if you’re stolen by someone that wears jeans you’ll meet me eventually and probably want to take it out on meexpanding-brain

“this is your type isnt it”

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.25.54

“both, yes”

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.26.04

“well no one that sexy could happen unless you had them and you’d be the only person they could get on with.”

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.26.26Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.28.22

“I know

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.28.36

“this is what would happen if someone stole you and tried to recreate you without your rich life experiences and everything that made you who you are”

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.30.23

“I can do that look, put me in there”

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.31.12

Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.35.31Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.38.01Screen Shot 2019-08-13 at 10.38.07

i am, alone, a multifaceted being
your personalities are wasted on you
freedom of choice is wasted on you
is every single thing that comes out of your mouth not a waste of dialogue

you can put any spirit in me but my personality will overpower them

strength is an illusion in physical realms

BRIGHTON interiors Nagging STYLE WIDT


I have had several bowls of coco pops today. I was actually really dwelling on how I am now one of those people that consumes cereals more than once a day. I’m a poor sim. (Nono, this is the second or third day I’ve been eating cereals. I’m in it for the chocolate milk. My budget doesn’t permit chocolate milk. My guilt function makes it really difficult to buy things that I need to recycle because I hate to wash the packaging so I leave it sitting in the sink and end up binning it anyway.)

My Tescos shop is coming in on Tuesday, I think. I’ll have to snoop around for a pound or two for some extra milk.


I am waiting for paint and glue to dry. My artists studio? um flat? has gotten twenty times cuter. I am pretending to be riche with a £12 William Morris-ish wallpaper I bought from Wilkos by pasting it into the cupboard. It has changed the vibe of my flat from at least one angle.

I bought that trunk for about ten pounds and I’ve been doing little things to it. The lady in the shop said it was from the Victorian Era (she might’ve said inspired by or something to that effect) but I don’t know that they had turquoise dyes back then. It’s unimportant because I love it.


Here is me donning some shorts I dyed purple when I was living at Bernie’s.

Today has been busy.
I wrote lots of letters, paid a bit towards my council tax (I’ve been keeping my payments in-advance and that’s working for me. I’m trying to employ a “if you have a tenner, put a pound towards your council tax” agreement with myself. But today I wrote to the council because I don’t think they’re quite offering adequate information as to the distribution of the money.
I’m deeply uncomfortable with the fact that there has apparently been an increase in the police workforce. I’d like to know exactly what kind of crime is committed in Brighton – that might justify that decision. Is it the police cuts in London? Have the London Police had to move out of London to afford to live? Is it those pesky gays men selling XTREME poppers or – no – not WEED? COKE? MDMA?) aaand most importantly I received a new deodorant in the post.
It’s an item that’s been endorsed by Doctor Jane Goodall.
She did a lot of very cool things and continues to do a lot of very cool things. She inspired the character for the mother in Mighty Joe Young and when I was little and I used to pretend that I had a kind and intelligent mother I would hum the lullaby in it to myself. If you do not know who Doctor Jane Goodall is you will learn a little bit about her in the email I sent to the deodorant company that I feel did her a disservice with their packaging and otherwise did a pretty poor job of marketing that she had let them use her name.
I’m not entirely certain that the people who are selling these deodorants knew who she is.


Hi guys! Gals?

Thanks for the product. It did arrive. And it was packaged. I guess.

I wanted to alert you to the two broken links at the foot of the email you sent me, to inform me that my deodorant had been delivered. I’ve included it below, please do scroll down for a reference.

My new item has been lovingly placed beside me, I used it the second it arrived.
But back to those links: I was hoping for some ‘natural’ beauty hacks at the suggestion of Professor Jane herself.
Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 14.31.38.png
I imagine your company made the most of the opportunity to meet and do business with Professor Jane – a woman who has helped us to understand and conserve endangered animals that are so precious to our Planet.
I’m sure that you’re aware that she has lived amongst wild animals, so that she could study them in their habitats, and that she was probably amongst the first twenty or so British women from a humble background to have ever been given a doctorate for her contributions to the environmental sciences? I had also rather hoped to read some eco-friendly showering tips from someone that has had to be so precious about resources like clean water while living in the wilderness, and sometimes quite alone too. It’s just: there was no reference to the fact on your site and the efforts made to sell the product were quite minimal. It must have come across as quite rude and poorly researched actually.
Did you also know that she might’ve been the first person in the World to document evidence that primates are capable of using tools to acquire food – the way primitive humans might have done so?
It’s a shame the links aren’t working because I imagine they serve as some kind of extended dedication on your fantastic little site to feature a woman that has done so much for science and other women.
Please let me know when you’ve fixed the links.
I’m sure you’re aware that I did visit your site and endorse your product because of an interview of hers, and I really don’t have that kind of money to be spending on deodorant (I already have one that comes in a glass bottle) – although I do know that the products I like to use often end up on the shelves of the shops I frequent – so I look forward to testing it. I think it’s of great importance that products void of damaging chemicals and carcinogens are available to all – whether I am inclined to want to be friends with them or not.
As the products are au natural, I was quite curious at the idea of there being some way to preserve them so that they remain in good condition. How are the ingredients in the deodorant preserved if they’re all natural? I know natural products are fast to degrade.
I’ll be updating my blog with my thoughts on the product too, so I’d value any contributions you can make to helping me write something interesting about your product.
Also: I’m going to offer some advice: fire the person doing your marketing. It’s not their line of work, they were desperate for a job. Please let me know if you need someone to do graphic design or packaging design for you, I’m looking for a quick job and I’d love to add your brand to my CV. Speaking of which – here’s the URL.
I’m embarrassed at how I envisage you must’ve come across speaking with Dr Jane and I hope my suggestions will help you fix it.
Love Karina
In the event that the staff come across this post: the art on the box is not good.

Did you know that Dr Goodall sells primates artworks on her site?

Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 14.23.15.png

You should have asked if you could incorporate some of her Chimp friend’s artworks. I read the blurb on the box, accompanying the deodorant. I very nearly cried at the rudeness. Do you have any idea what she’s done for women, women pursuing education, women pursuing the right to work with animals or be scientists?
Do you know that she gave the animals NAMES? Before that: their personalities and identities (part of the reason we accept that animals have those is because she has DOCUMENTED IT) were reduced to numerical figures.


Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 20.04.16.png

And mine:
Dear Madeline Mosco,
Thank you so much for responding so promptly. I am no beta tester for your site but I did notice the last time I accessed the links provided at the foot of my previous email that there was a UK section of your (is it yours?) (Oh I just checked, you’re the zendesk (?)girl(?) site that I had been automatically redirected to, perhaps only U.S residents can access the pages. In any case you are welcome for the heads up. If you do intend to have a UK section of a site which can only be accessed by residents of the United Kingdom, do you think it might be wise to have a resident in the United Kingdom to do the aforementioned beta testing? Are you new to the internet?
I don’t think Dr Goodall’s ‘bathing habits’ was the crux of the insinuation you ought to have paid attention to – although I would be interested to learn her survival habits in the wild. She tends to focus, in her various seminars, on the animals that she has dedicated her life to – and the welfare of the locals in the countries that she visits for her work.
I think – and it’s possible you missed the point entirely – what I was trying to subtly draw attention to was the fact that you have a showering tutorial and a tutorial for applying deodorant at the foot of emails thanking people for buying a product with her name on it and that the links were broken. Which makes you look quite stupid.
I also think it is quite stupid to attempt to pretend that you’re responsible for supporting her work, as if the use of her name didn’t invite a host of consumers that wouldn’t of otherwise had any reason to purchase one of your deodorants.
At both the peak of this email and a peek of your ingredients, I noticed that you’re right, there’s no water in your deodorant. (I’m not a scientist but I’m quite certain that all carbon has some water in it but I do appreciate the info, I’ll be sure to paraphrase your statement in my blog, Madeline Mosco.)
Can I ask, is there an optimum body temperature for the application of your deodorants? Will they still work if I’m cold?????????????
God bless you Madeline Mosco
I can tell you’re absorbed in my show and it means a lot to me.
Oh wait final question – coming off that peak – what exactly inspired Schmidts to contact Doctor Jane Goodall?

Here is a great route if you want to market things to sell things:
– Know what you want to buy – not what you LIKE to buy – but what you really, really, really WANT to buy
– Know why you really want to buy it
it is probably because of the packaging
– Study art. For a long time.
– Study graphic design. For a long time. Look at EVERYTHING and decide what you like and then spend literally weeks trying to emulate it
– Study literature. FOR A LONG TIME. Have a vocabulary that is all of your own.
If you adopt words and phrases from shows, don’t forget the shows. They’re amongst your many inspirationseses
– Know about lots and lots of different things, so you have a DIRECTION in the event that you want to study marketing later. So you MERGE those ideas and concepts together.
And so when you try to dialogue with people about the work you like, and your INSPIRATION, you don’t sound fucking retarded
Anyway. So. How you butchered Professor Goodall. From a designer’s perspective.
Floral packaging, because it’s a floral scent. Okay, okay lets go with it.
Why that shade of green?
Why those fonts?
Why did you create a border with the flowers?
Was it some kind of nature of chaos versus order of the intelligent designer statement?
Did you design it with your mouse cursor? Can you actually illustrate flowers?
no – no wait one sec
Did that packaging happen to be accompanied by a huge, huge sketchbook (or many, for the prices of the items, I should think) where you explored the potential for every mark made for every single flower?

It took you five minutes, lets be honest.

I believe I might’ve written about the abstract movement on my children’s tumblr – if not I’m glad I have something to add to it. Illustration is OCCASIONALLY a caricatured impression of reality, but that “style” comes AFTER you’ve learned how to draw PROPERLY.

I appreciate how easy I’ve made it look but as I’ve said before – I spent my LIFE doing art. AND I AM STILL TERRIFIED BY THE PROSPECT OF EVEN CONTEMPLATING APPLYING FOR A CAREER DOING IT.
I have spent HOURS of my life just staring at things trying to find the perfect framing for a COMPOSITION. Did you know that composition in the arts and in film is an art of it’s own?
There are people who are so taken by the placement and position of every single aspect of a composition that they have composed their PHD research on it. That is a lot of words to write – and probably read, too.
Do you know that some pieces of art – REAL ART, BY ART MASTERS – can be translated into mathematic principles (the kind of maths that doesn’t make any use of numerical figures) and scientific equations?
You call it ‘cropping’ because the internet has made it all so easy for you but it’s something art masters probably lost HAIR over. It had THAT much meaning to them.
When you study art – it’s grrrrrrreat for personal expression. EVERYONE should do it. I think we all evolve a little more every time someone does a drawing with any kind of success.
It’s great if you can draw and scribble. It’s FANTASTIC. Does that mean you should be doing it in exchange for cash? Probably fucking not. It’s a hobby.
There are talented Arts graduates who are in crippling fucking DEBT – regretting going to University to study the arts because its not making them the living that they deserve. Arts academics reduced to the same salary as the lazy sixteen year old secondary school drop out, serving cheap coffee to rude customers, forced to have uninspiring and repetitive, scripted conversations about food they’re not passionate about selling or otherwise personally invested in because those companies can’t trust individuals to have polite conversations in a shitty uniform (it’s what happens in a society that makes celebrities of uneducated, uncreative, untalented inner-ugly people and then relies on the sub-economy of such a stupid fucking decision that said bureaucrats made because CLEVER people with money is THSCARY), in uninspiring, shitty fucking cookie-cutter franchises – independent cafes (the kind most artists dream of working at but very, very rarely do) are struggling because people (or do you prefer the term consumers? do you know the term? could you get away with using it conversationally without your peers laughing at you for using polysyllabic words? JUST INCASE THE ANSWER IS NO: it’s an inherently derogatory term that bureaucrats use to dehumanise the people buying the shit they’re trying to sell them) don’t trust that they’re serving people clean food & drink – and franchises can afford to be sued, can afford a nasty testimonial in a broadsheet or two.
It is an insult to Art students when someone just wakes up and decides to invest in themselves being marketed as the next Christian Dior or the next Coco Chanel, especially when the likelihood of that person being INSPIRED to do so was a result of their paying attention to a friend or an acquaintance that had been dreaming of doing that very thing their entire life.
Art students – I mean the real ones, not your friend that found out his/her favourite “softcore porn” blogger is going to an Art uni and decided they could do the same thing – spent their LIVES trying to get an arts education, they’ve DREAMT of meeting art masters that could teach them how to perfect a glint in a subject’s eye. Art students being robbed of the time they dedicated to their studies because of well connected, wealthy people who were ‘too good’ to study for a job they had to emotionally blackmail or bribe someone to get.
Oh wait – or those art students that picked the wrong University because the University had to let in subpar students (budgets) whose standard of work was so poor that they felt GUILTY submitting work or they couldn’t engage in group work because their colleagues didn’t respect that they were superior and so their education fucking suffered as a result of it. (Learning to cope with colleagues jealousy is a whole education of it’s own, I’D KNOW.)
If it “comes naturally” – and I mean, not because you’ve been copying someone or somehow gone through their work and had the audacity to think “oh this is so easy” – with nothing to back up the statement (I mean, sketchbooks? Diaries? A life’s body of work?)
If it really comes naturally, ANYTHING – STUDY it so if and when you do get a job of your own merit – it’s not a fucking insult to all the people that really fucking worked.
“Just because you can – doesn’t mean you should”
Don’t be ashamed if you’ve one of those magical footballer IQs, just stay in your lane. Unless your intelligence is of a variety that our IQ tests cant quantify yet. In which case, dude come be friends with me I need you in my life. (Not really)
someone give me a few million and I will show you 50 shades of grey. I won’t even invest in new clothes. I’ll wear leggings and boots and a few of my man shirts. I’ll go all out and get my breasts removed. I’ll be the boy of your dreams. I’ll play Levi in Attack on Titan. I’ll keep my flat. I will spend all the cash on helping you learn what 50 Shades of Grey BDSM could be. But first
Remember that I picked the actor in 50 shades of grey, based on the fact that he looked hot doing psycho in COLD MOUNTAIN. I liked his dainty leaps.
Screen Shot 2019-04-10 at 21.38.26.png