B E I G E

Waiting for clay to dry…

So you may (or may not) remember that I started >> a little craft project. <<
Incase you don’t remember… Let me refresh your memory!


I’m making this clay piece for an idea I have for a kids channel I’m putting together on youtube. It’s very much an experiment at this stage – but I’ve been working on it for a little while.

So here is a little rundown of the process of putting together a little Bastet candle holder.

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I started off by sketching a little design (below) & creating the basic shapes using a discarded cardboard roll, blunt kitchen scissors & mummification bandage (modrock, above!).

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This is how she looked while I was waiting for the bandage to harden.

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I ordered clay on Amazon awhile ago but it’s taking time to arrive… so, being inpatient as I am, (and – FYI – I am SO inpatient) yesterday I visited Hobby Craft & bought this Air Drying Clay… I  watched a couple of clay modelling tutorials on youtube & realised that I actually don’t know anything about it. All I know is that I value my time and I need something that dries fast. :p

I struggled at first, with uh… trying to work out how to get the clay to stick to my little modrock cat-babe but this youtuber came to my rescue. Isn’t it amazing how we have so much access to all this knowledge now? You can use youtube to learn about ANYTHING.

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Here are some obligatory macros (I live for macros) of everything.

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How cute are these tools?! Zoella kind of got me obsessed with copper coloured things. I mean, technically this is “rose gold” (which would be difficult to tell by my colour correction, but I wanted to colour coordinate with the pretty tutorials I included in this post..) but looky! So0o0 pretty. The tool-handles are textured and they match my mermaid tail brushes, I think.

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Hopefully the clay will actually stick to the modrock…

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In any case it’s a fun learning process. Hopefully it’ll be a successful project, so I can get to making my cute crafts video.

This video came up next on my feed. SO CUTE. Insta-follow’d

The beautiful colours of the macaron inspired me! So… Here is a sort-of illustration of what she might look like when she’s finished.

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Edited {Later on this same evening she started looking a little cuter!}
{The colours are different so excuse the lack of colour-continuity}

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My leggings are a mess but maybe I could design some like these… I think they look kinda cool.

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Madre’s put on Disney songs for the chihuahuas for the most part of the day and they’ve been really happy about it. They’re usually such Taylor Swift fans! (Though not Tintin, so much)


Today I had a great final appointment with my psychiatrist. I asked him to listen to a particular Abraham Hicks video, where she speaks with a psychiatrist – who on the one hand was a fan of Esther and Abraham but on the other, works with people who engage with a reality that isn’t quite apparent to him. Its sort of a really amazing conversational exchange that I don’t think has ever been documented before. My psychiatrist said he’d watch, I told him that I’d really appreciate if he considered suggesting Ester & Abraham to his patients and he said “we do suggest various meditations” (he is more articulate than my memory is dictating him as being) and I told him that over many years I’ve tried numerous meditations but it was really through Abraham that I actually got better, that my life changed noticeably. I kept really rudely interrupting him every time he tried to speak because I felt so comfortable speaking – I haven’t in ages, really. With anyone. I think he worked that out though. He said he’d share Abraham with his team and I hope he does.

Before I went to University I had a spiritual teacher that I talk about so, so frequently – “Matrixesque oracle” – essentially she told me numerous times not to do drugs. The reason being that my being put in a psychiatric ward was always going to happen – but when I was it, my experiences were put down to drug use and that was wrong. I was given the wrong diagnosis, robbed of an opportunity to be properly studied for the things I was experiencing. I know I will never be sectioned or put on psychiatric medication again – but I know that other people like me will be filtered through the system and I think that if I can trust a team of people to consider Esther Hicks as an example of someone like me (who has a much greater control over her emotional state!) that the world will be a completely different place in a year from now.

Oh, then I asked him if I could see him for a final appointment. I think he knows it’s because I want to know what he thinks of Abraham and Esther.

And when I got back in the car with my ma, I had a pretty honest chat with my her about my experiences – and she told me about how one time – when my Grandmother (Who-would-DESTROY-me-for-calling-her-that. We-just-called-her-“Conchita”, although-her-name-was-“Concepcion”) was pregnant, my Aunt Norma (an infant at the time) came and said to her that “Jesus is taking your baby away now”. That night she went into labour and the baby was born with it’s umbilical cord fastened around it’s neck. My grandma also died that evening. But she came back.

Oh! And one time my Aunt Norma refused to go to this country club my family went to in Paraguay because she knew a little boy was going to drown… Of course, he did. If a child had told me about that I’d have said “well then we HAVE to go! And you’re going to swim in that pool ALL DAY!”

I’m uh, going to go downstairs – my dad wants me to “see something” (it means he wants to show off a meal he’s made) anddddddd then I’m gonna come back upstairs, watch some Gaspard Ulliel interviews, fall asleep and make some memes about my starsign when I wake up. (#Ophiuchus, btw.)

K R É M E B L A N C 0

DIS.IZ.ME.HI.ME.DO.I.LOOK.LIKE.YOU?MAYBE.I.AM.A.YOU.IN.SOME.OTHER.TIME.AND.PLACE.REALLY.

It’s weird – yesterday I was on & off sleepy, watched lots of youtube videos about the history of ceramics & even a few tutorials (I honestly feel like ceramicists/potters are this super weird/creative bunch of people who must like, zone out, vacate their bodies and time travel or something because they speak so0o0o slowly and have so0o0 much stoner wisdom and PATIENCE). I spent a lot of time napping, ruminating about my past.

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And stealing/eating all my dad’s fancy-ish dark chocolate slim jaffa cakes. (FYI This post is a justification for the mess my nails are right now.)

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So I started gathering inspiration again a year or so ago… If you’re looking for inspiration, a connection to weird ideas… I’d like to advise you to keep tiny things that mean something to you. I promise that you’ll also manifest a narrative…

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I learned recently from a fuchsia box & the iconic selfridges bag I had in my room in Denmark that I really love the combination of pink & yellow together.
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The girl in a hat is a cute piece of art one of my best-boy-friend bought me years ago. He’s always bought me the most amazing gifts. He’s an asshole but he’s amazing. Thats my tagline for him. He’s over in Denmark holding my PS4 for me. We don’t hang out much but atleast I’ve an excuse to go visit him if I ever feel like it. >:)

Final Denmark moment: I bought some pretty notepads when I was out there – on one occasion I was with one of my best-boy-friend and his best-friend that I used to crush on. I held a pink note book and a yellow notebook. my best-boy-friend picked the pink one and his bestfriend picked the yellow. I don’t think he realised the significance of it, he was more distracted by the fact he had initially wanted the pink one.

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When I was very little I knew a littler boy called Sam and he used to pronounce yellow as ‘Lello’. I was really mean to him one time, when I was looking after him. He got me back!

Syria is the land of the Sun. 🙂


This week I’ve been… checking out ceramics, because I saw some on >> Solange Knowles GORGEOUS online shop. << GO LOOK, and if you can’t afford yet, be inspired!
I found out about it when this article popped up on my twitter feed. Stolen from the article : In a recent Instagram (below), Knowles said she wanted to create
“a community” that would give ” music, art , and fashion a more thoughtful and diverse place.”

A few times in my life I kind of got vaguely interested in sculpture. I never knew where to buy the materials from, so I used to steal them from college. (I mean, I knew that if I asked my parents to buy me this stuff they would have… but whenever I saw the amount of materials I needed for the stuff I wanted to make, and how much they cost in shops, pursuing whatever I pictured in my head actually made me feel really strange guilt about overspending. The issue was I didn’t think I was good enough at Art to be spending that much on materials and also… Art shops just seem to charge you whatever they want…?!) Like, I know there’s some “exclusive” Aladdins Cave Art shop somewhere in London that charges you a fraction of the price if you give them a magic password but I’m really not into that elitist shit. I mean I love secrets but I actually don’t want to shop anywhere that excludes people from buying tools to pursue their fucking dreams. The Arts are for everyone, the planet desperately needs artists & creators in order to evolve. I can’t – genuinely can’t – stress or emphasise how firmly I believe that.

#ceramics #inspo >> CLICK HERE THANKS SOLANGE UR A QUEEN <<

>> I made an inspiration board on Pinterest of stuff I thought was really beautiful. I tried to make the design my own, but it was definitely inspired. <<

Being inspired is totally divine and when someone makes you want to create that’s because they’re somehow sharing creative energy – so it’s actually decent and polite to credit those who you share the energy with.

Heres a video I watched.

Here’s the start of what I’m making! Her design is looking very primitive so far.

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TOTT – Tools of the trade. Got me some ready-made Egyptian Mummification bandages, some cardboard & kitchen scissors I stole from ma cos the ones I bought in Denmark are in my suitcases. ❤ TOTT for the first phase of creating. Hehe.

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I know there’s this huge movement about “being in the present” but I really don’t think that works for everyone…

Anyway, after a day of low-energy functioning… I slept really early last night, woke up ridiculously early this morning, had my cigarette, some of last night’s dinner for breakfast (lemony-oliveoily-salad & chicken), donned a cute playsuit + my qt SHEEP hoody, started the first stages of my little sculpture and once I was done the light was shining thru my blinds just enough to be able to take some cute photos – which reminded me that I’ve been having issues with my Adobe suite. For awhile. I forced myself to make the call, spent a lot of time on hold while their amazing telephone advisor remotely fixed my corrupted software and was struck with some new ideas for how to sculpt. Thanks for inspiring me Nitish!

Also while Adobe was fixing the issues with my laptop I learned about this thing called Activity Monitor??!

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I also spent hours listening to/catchin’ up with H3H3 while I was makingmaking. They’re just such good vibes! I started watching them a little more than a year ago, and from time to time they’d make something that really caught my attention or made me snort-laugh-hysterical. I’m so happy to see how successful they are! QT Jew couple overcoming obstacles 2gether. I’m fully certain they’re twinflames. Verr cute. If I were friends with them I’d be like, really rude and say something weird like Y don’t U have kids yet?
I watched a Valentines day video of theirs about them spending their early relationship mostly talking on skype, until life finally made it possible for them to physically be together & them sharing everything, them being drug dealers together to try & make ends meet early on in their relationship, making a child’s book together in their spare time… SO ROMANTIC. They’d be really cool parents. I think.

What was really weird is I was watching this video right… they dropped the word “ceramics”. Isn’t it weird how we’re all connected thru space & time!? #synchronicity

My spiritual teachers have always taught me there is no such thing as a coincidence.

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The guy they were interviewing reminds me of this super bossy, SUPER BEAUTIFUL uni lecturer I was obsessed with. Some masquerading ex army Israeli who was way, way too short to be of any use to the army >:) (FYI I sound like I’m being mean but actually he was VERY mean even though he knew I loved him v v v v v v much and I loved it. I think we both helped each other become much better versions of ourselves.) Mean? Sooo mean. But also completely honest. I think we reminded each other of ourselves.


Oh, oh oh oh… check out this super cute sculpture I bought of my favourite God. Lord of The Underworld… Vampy vamp.

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If pop-pornography is the religious iconography of our time, by doing a little bit of Art History & going back you realise that symbolism remains quite the same. In my personal pantheon Anubis is an Ancient spirit, that occupies my fav rockstar & my divine jackalesque chihuahua. DO YOU FEEL THE RESEMBLENCE THO

The Aztecs believed that Chihuahuas (they called them Techichis) could guide you through the Land of the Dead. Mine certainly did, for me. And the Greeks have a God called Cerberus … a three headed beauty that guards Hades. Our chihuahuas were a gift from a pharaonic family & they came in three… Pretty panstheist meta, wouldn’t you agree?

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Start a Love Cult with me, time-travelling-soul-fragment-mine

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Me, a million years ago
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(Don’t hurt Elephants tho. EVER. 😡 )


What is a Cult without an expansive Religion though? #panstheism #thespianSM