puck is SARCASTIC okay

he doesnt MEAN it

he’s got to go around setting up all these incapables (of understanding love at all) and then he’s alone at the end. and they’d probably all fall in love with him a bit and he knows it and

I mean i haven’t actually ever seen this apart from when i was little one time. I dont remember the story at all – but! Ballet Shoes was one of my favourite movies ever.

i mean you’d be a bit offended too surely – not by her performance – but at how completely misunderstood his character is. i blame directors

basically, i’d imagine that most of his monologues would be furious and telepathic (especially observing the majority of his costars) and he might only actually bother speaking to oberon or something. maybe. and a few one or two words elsewhere

(if you got shakespeare how i get shakespeare i mean)

Also Prince Puck is one of my favourite characters in Final Fantasy ever [ref]

(i know the card guy is called jack but i associate them)

also archetypally – puck is Lucifer

my fav angel

and my boy name would’ve been either puck or jack

Only because Lucifer and Satan etc are names that people have kinda put a lot of negative energy into and even if you wanted to like those names you’d struggle at this point. I mean, I like the spelling of my name but when my mother calls me I die inside – every time

oh this tickled me – “my sister is profoundly retarded” – was literally like listening to how my family thought of me when i was very little cos they couldn’t comprehend why i didn’t want to speak to any of them (they couldnt of imagined it was the consistent abuse or that i was waiting for a hug after that ass rape that they – and millions of other people actually – pretended they didn’t watch) (and enjoy watching) was it because i didn’t cry? did that ruin the show??

I mean Beyonce heard the scream but none of my “family” did apparently. (My brother did try to make me laugh about it but he hit his head – hard – at a party and is also quite autistic) (my mother is probably also autistic) (because how else do i explain any of this quite hilarious, actually, life)

My shadow self wants my sister and her friends to hand write me an apology and mail it to our house. my nice self thinks its less cruel if they drop dead but also she and her friends are all so manipulative (and such fantastic comediennes) that iunno really

no but really my family spent my life thinking i was retarded cos i never bothered speaking to them unless it was to defend my sister when she and my mother were fighting and then she’d go and tell all her friends I was really “evil” and all sorts.

Its funny, my sister started literally showing off about ear phones to me – and then I said “I’m living on £200 pocket money (birthday money) for three months” – I can’t afford to buy myself earphones.

(I went to Denmark for a bit to escape weird stuff and she had to stay at home – disregarding that I’d lived at home with a mother that abused her just as much as she abused me, it’s just that manipulating people for sympathy never worked all that well for me – for many years and when I came back I spent the most part of a year sleeping on the floor of a box room I am a bit too tall for even though I was suffering with parkinsonism from taking medication i shouldn’t of been taking. She found a flat on the internet, and she and my ‘dad’ convinced me (i am not related to her, nor am i related to him – genetically – but you’d do a better job convincing him that i was related to him) that it was ‘ours’ and that I’d get paid rent for it- then that stopped – obviously – and then she eventually managed to find a job. She has enough cash for a gym membership but not enough to pay me my £400 rent)

(I mean if you wanted comedy and a good laugh, and you picked her, good)

I know, I know “GET A JOB”

– I have a disability where I sometimes shit once a month. I may do a good job hiding how much it hurts but it does actually hurt

– I get stalked wherever I go, it’d of been nice if someone once told me ‘oh by the way people do actually know who you are’. The people I attach to also get stalked.

– Ever since I lost my shit about her being gang raped – (and I know it was heard, because even my bank have told me they no longer sponsor football games) – everytime I look for a job that ‘sounds like’ one i’d want – and I am more qualified than her and her friends – none of whom even went to University – it ends up looking like it was written by someone who has been playing football non stop since he was sixteen.

She hasn’t actually thanked me, the people I do things for verrrry rarely do. But it is reeally nice to see her wandering around in new designer dresses.

A tutor of mine, that I was completely in love with, and absolutely not secretly so – once said “I prefer your sister”

SO DID EVERYONE. Apart from my mother, who quite liked to occupy my body to live her life vicariously. Fucking my boyfriends, hanging out with my friends etc – dance classes, acrobatics etc.
When I told doctors about it, they panicked so much that they had me sectioned and force fed medications and sedated and raped at night because a psychic told me that rape is about ‘control’ and they really thought that they could ‘control’ me even though I surpassed literally all of their mental functions

WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO UPSET ME? It says more about you than it does about me, when you choose her. And every single one of my relatives did it – they all picked her. And I pitied her my entire life, she needed that. All I saw in my family was liars though I never quite knew what they were lying about.

There’s this .gif of Oprah that I saw on twitter, performing as a witch, where she is completely full of love and thats the kind of thing I cry about. Or really nice art that is full of energy work etc. I don’t cry cos I’m sad. I know some people do, but I imagine that if I ever really did – it’d come from some very manipulative, performative place in me. And I am actually too selfish to be a performer

a load of people pretended not to know who i was – never having modelled at all – and stalked me to university and got degrees and then bullied me, kinda like all the ancient-looking but not acting bitches i picked over SG

id rather befriend an alley way slut – those are the ones that made it okay for the coffee shop girls to get naked in the first place

Positive affirmations work, okay, but not for me

I actually think I am triggered by doing affirmations

I repeat some stuff out-loud and its like im arguing with Louise Hays

“you forgive everyone”

“I DO NOT‘ forgive everyone”

“you forgive everyone”

“I DO NOT‘ forgive everyone!!!”

“you forgive yourself”

“FOR WHAT”

He (Michael) had a bad karma and not really through any fault of his own. It’s illuminati related. It’s Roman Polanski related. If he ‘touched’ any kids he was either drugged the fuck out and not aware of what was going on – or he had been hypnotised at some point – and any Barrymore can tell you that when you develop a tolerance to acting high, you can do any drug at all and no one knows you’re on the stuff. Sometimes – not even you. A relative of mine was hypnotised to help her lose weight – before she knew her family had any kind of diplomatic power and then she was told it ‘didn’t work’. It’s pretty common stuff. She ended up hearing years later that she had beat the fuck out of her infant son with a belt but – genuinely – she has no recollection of the fact. My University got a little nosey with all that – and they started doing it themselves. A teacher once said to me “theres a kind of technology that if people knew about it – it would SCARE them”… that was code for a confession that I believe brings him deep shame now. I mean thats all I’ve got, the hope that people that have abused me feel some shame about it. There were Rothschilds at my shitty University. They did not know that my family are a bigger deal than the Rothschilds, I imagine there’s some embarrassment there but too many generations of guiltless thieves for it to be substantial enough for them to tell the truth. As an infant I was abused so much that I was suicidal and then I had my consciousness moved into another body. The lecturers I had were kind of interested in that, and it got to a point where I started being called a ‘robot’ and a ‘zombie’. A female lecturer that I had defended once got involved by subtley ringing a ‘gong’. None of them had worked out that I had already managed to overcome brainwashing from a fundamentalist Christian parent in my early infancy and kept quiet about it. You couldn’t control me into anything – as a child – if I didn’t love you. I loved my ‘older sister’ and she was so overcome with psychotic envy (it began with my originally having been born with blue/green eyes – the new version of me had brown eyes) and she mind-controlled me onto a lot of very, very weird stuff. But she was probably being mind controlled by someone else. My entire family on both sides are waiting on a confession and apology from her for it – teaching all of her friends how to abuse me etc. All the kids whose money-hungry parents push them to be on TV will be pushed to befriend stars – and the second one of those parents gets jealous that their kid loves being around Michael Jackson (A black man!?) more than they like being around their parents – you know how it goes – they’ll get jealous and start throwing the word pedophile around. Some parents are the kind to abuse their kids and pass them along to someone else to ‘abuse’. I don’t think many stage kids have a hard time saying ‘no’ to sharing a bed with a grown man, or another kid. I mean there’s a book a social worker wrote about a mute girl who was being drugged without knowing about it, and then used for “satanic rituals” at night – orgies, ritual gang-rapes etc. They take it pretty far, they’ll arrange for a person to make money, arrange for the “perfect home” for those people, arrange for them to have special “friends” that “understand” them. The only reason the Illuminati are making themselves known is because they’re being associated with this stuff – there are people in many secret societies who engage in “ritualistic gangrapes” just because they’re told to. The Skull and Bones take these things pretty far – they’ll incriminate people so that they later have something to blackmail them and control them with. George Bush isn’t dead, he’s run the fuck off because the anxiety you get when you know you’re in trouble can make you go literally crazy. Michael Jackson was prepared to discuss the fact he’d been in bed with kids – he wasn’t a sexual person. I think we all ought to accept based on how many grown men were in his videos, and the kind of women that appeared in his videos – that he was very, very gay. So it’s possible that he had been a child-victim of this stuff, that it was going on long before we heard anything about it. But like the police, like ‘footballers’, like anyone that fantasises over having a bit of power – if they’ve done ANYTHING wrong in their lives – they’ll become an excuse to allow abuse to go on. And a lot of men are slaves to their libidos and it’s not about ‘rituals’ – it’s just about sexually enjoying ‘weird’ stuff. Michael had the money to hush these people – and he CHOSE not to – even if he did ‘pay’ someone off, the stories still ‘came out’. If he paid someone to be quiet it was because he was tired of drama, and probably pretty hurt about being backstabbed by someone he trusted. People in secret societies know about “The Illuminati” but generally don’t get very far up that pyramid because they can’t understand or comprehend the notion of “unconditional love” (a lot of people commit acts of rape and have women believe that it they truly love these men that they’ll forgive them etc – actually if you rape someone once you’ll do it again.) – people in the Illuminati talk to Angels. There are consequences for people in every level of power – so the Obamas weren’t allowed to say “ALIENS EXIST” but wouldn’t every scientist tell you that to assume we’re the only life form on this Universe would be stupidity? And everyone notices the Obama smirks when they’re asked questions about stuff they’re not allowed to discuss. Once you are a celebrity you have to keep the secrets – if you want to keep everything you’ve worked for, including talent. As in – when I stop using the internet I can sing opera better than iunno any opera singers – but when I start ‘talking too much’ I lose my voice and I sound awful. It takes someone who isn’t afraid of humiliation, rejection or the consequences of telling the truth to reach the very top. That means it has to be a person who is also considered technically ‘disabled’ – because there are laws about disability and there are severe consequences for people who mistreat the disabled. The police use mind control on the disabled sometimes, and get them put into facilities where they can be controlled. A lot of “mental illness” isn’t mental illness at all. The people who really run the Illuminati do not pursue fame but they do create ‘famous’ people, and this can be both a good and bad thing. A good thing because the right ‘famous’ person can be trusted to help kids who are victims of sexual slavery – I mean ‘middle class white kids’ – even royalty etc. A bad thing because they sometimes succumb to being friends with the wrong kind of people who are friends with the wrong kind of people who are friends with the wrong kind of people. There are spiritual masters who can “astral project” / leave their bodies – and also enjoy the performing arts. The Illuminati sometimes selects those people to become ‘famous’ but they do it very quietly. So – these people with often clear consciences are enlisted into the secret services to help kids who are being abused at home. In “Man on Fire” the girl that gets kidnapped in Mexico (it’s based on a true story) is only allowed to watch CARTOONS because that way, you don’t make eye contact with actors that might be able to astral travel and tell people where she is. Another thing that is done, is kids get kidnapped and transferred into new bodies – and sold into sexual slavery – so people don’t manage to find them through making eye contact. It is possible, accept it. Sometimes secret societies that are NOT to be confused with the Illuminati – also get involved and put these ‘stars’ in movies for kids and very particular kids (ones with ‘special abilities’ for example) and the kids develop “crushes” on those stars – and the celebrities might get sent mental images of those kids who may fantasise about them sexually. It goes so far as – the people orchestrating these things might have those kids and those actors get sent those images to fantasise over – and later in life, those people are controlled through those. Organisations like the Church of Scientology may have to ‘adopt’ those celebrities by blackmailing them into being able to control their thought-space again – to escape the weirdness of the fantasies they haven’t considered are coming from the children themselves. Of course there are ulterior motives to most good deeds – yes the C.o.S make a lot of money from a lot of those celebrities. Those details aside, those children are also often subliminally controlled by the things that they see on television. Suggestions and ideas for things to do – that they ‘wont get in trouble’ for. I once saw a doctor deliver a newborn baby and then smacking the newborn baby on television. I later smacked my baby-cousin when I was eight years old – I had completely ‘forgotten’ that I had ever done anything like that, and then when I realised my family were one of the Planets ruling families (as in we are above ‘queen elizabeth’ – but we don’t have the castles, cash or means to validate it and apparently thats really important to capitalist societies – that power must be validated with ‘wealth’) I was guilt-tripped into such a serious state of psychosis that I ended up burning kitchen scissors and then fastening a belt around my thigh and cutting myself about 30 or so times – and it HURT. I made sure it hurt – because I really believed it was ‘appropriate’ for the terrible thing I’d done. I was brought up by a mother who did everything and anything for attention, so when at ten/eleven I started cutting myself – she TOLD ME it was to ‘get attention’ and that was not what motivated me to harm myself. I told the doctors pretty bluntly why I had done it – the catholics do it – I was STILL sectioned. I was then put into a psychiatric ward where I was sedated unnecessarily and raped frequently. What was then ignored: was that the baby didn’t feel pain or respond when I hit it. So that baby’s parents had already been abusing it. The only thing those parents wanted for that – was cash – they know I’m owed a serious inheritance and they were trying to blackmail me. I think what happened to me as a ‘consequence’ for hitting a baby – which was REALLY out of character to anyone that actually had a conversation with me as a child – was far worse than the effect of ‘compensating’ them that cash (so what price do you put on someone smacking a child??) and they still don’t even allow themselves to realise that they had a lot more financially than I ever did. Many celebrities end up working for the ‘secret services’ – many people think – as in truly believe they’re ‘Illuminati’. It’s people that want ‘power’. People who go up the pyramid realise FAST that they do NOT want power at ALL, so their intentions have to develop to something truly selfless or they will crumble. If you do not have a decent motivation for acquiring ‘power’ over others you’ll end up going into hiding or end up suicidal. Many kids in seemingly ‘nice’ families are abused. Many parents and families have no fucking idea of how abusive they actually are, some parents don’t actually know they’re abusing anyone because they’re drugged. And then when they’re found out – they’re forcibly silenced by threats like ’embarrassment’ and guilt ridden – guilt breeds psychosis and is a form of mind control. But also – some people are genuinely abusive and don’t bother to lie about it, or prefer to make excuses to justify the fact. But again, my saying that comes from a place of deep, deep anger. There are plenty of families who have instances of sexual curiosities between family members. They make it look like the kids are sexually interested in one another, at the time it looks like routine incest when actually it’s not – just the kids “being experimental” or “curious” – sorry but it’s a different kind of ‘TV’ for people in the wrong kind of power. NOT Illuminati. But it can get confusing, because you get idiots like Amy Winehouse and Rihanna throwing the word around or hinting at it after watching a few too many conspiracy theory videos and other secret societies will sneak in and blame the Illuminati instead. Anyone can get a tattoo with a triangle and an eye and not really understand it. The kind of people to call it ‘the evil eye’ – which is (for a start..) deeply offensive to Muslims and Jews. And it is stupid to assume a NAME or a way of life, or have ANY symbol or TEXT tattooed on you and not know what it means – and not therefore later be prepared to find out what it means. I have the tattoo – but I have the female and male versions of it – before anything it is about truth. Franks are charming kinda guys and easy to ‘fall in love with’, you know – they get girls crowding around them like it’s nothing – but they’re also pretty nasty if they think you’re two faced or you make them insecure about something. To the Illuminati – insecurity is considered a form of “mind control” – the Illuminati teach that you have to love yourself before you are capable of loving anyone else or you can end up being mind controlled into all sorts of stupidity – having gender surgery, having your body bleached white etc. Franks are nice but sometimes pretty fucking stupid. Pretty fucking eager to get in on a story that has nothing to do with them. They get themselves into all kinds of weird debts too, so they’re also pretty easy to control. You can get them to take the blame for anything if they need the money.

I needed this, thanks Mrs HT