fyi and it is neither here nor there at this point

(and it is poignant, for today i had to scoop philadelphia cheese out of a mini tub, the kind that you’d get in a (NOT CHEAP) hotel, because at least if someone breaks into my flat and roofies my food or ejaculates in my food, i can hope they haven’t done so in ALL my food)

unconditional love is as simple, in karina land, as not judging you for your starsign, taste in footwear and for your taste in women (mine is superior in every respect)

i updated my flickr

is lurking athing still?

at uni i got weird and deleted any “good” photographs i had taken. weird.

.i ought to explain: the oil is a treatment for my hair and is why i have nice hair, even though i smoke so many cigarettes every day. the honey is a treatment because i smoke a lot of cigarettes and my family won’t pay for me to get plastic surgery so i have to care for my skin on a budget.

.fun fact: a daily spoonful of manuka honey is a really good natural alternative to pill forms of vitamins for maintaining a healthy immune system.

.o hay

.the weather in Brighton is good.

.I applied some egg wash to the leaves of my plants some time ago and there’s still some traces there. it’s been so hot lately that i’m wondering if the egg wash might be protecting the leaves because in parts they’ve discoloured from sun burn and in others they haven’t. this is the kind of stuff i think about. all day.

.can you see that little white blob? that is skwid-innard. squid. innard. i fed it to the soil technically. i like to put weird things in soil. i imagine that plants and soil are the least picky eaters. when i lived in farnham years ago i used to put drops of bodily fluids like semen and discharge into soil and a cannabis plant responded really well to that.

.the bottles to the right, in the photograph below, are the left overs of a lot of bombay sapphire gin which i refuse to drink – i poured half the bottle into a ceramic bowl with three chicken thighs in. With all sorts of other stuff – which i noted down. I like to have things in the house in the event that I ever have someone over – which I don’t think will happen for a very long time. I’m not really the sort to enjoy drinking alone but I learned that alcohol is great with food. The alcohol evaporates, so you don’t get drunk. But it tastes really nice. I also used my honey-beer (top photo.)

.

.i bought myself a £2 mint plant from tescos. they make me really happy. mint plants might be amongst my favourite. i think they’re very sweet and they quite like to share spaces with other plants.

.the plant with nosey little purple flowers is really competitive. she? is an outdoor plant but she insists on being indoors. i don’t know why i know that – but i can see it in how the stems move around. she moves around daily. ofcourse she is very subtle about it, plants are generally. they needn’t be but they are

.i took another photo, to illustrate, but i’ve not uploaded it yet.

.this is the lord’s butter – i do not use it on bread, i use it when i cook with natural antiseptics like lemon and bicarbonate of soda

.really complaints: i will never ever really be able to be a person that does not do food/soap etc in military packaging that you can’t make look the same again. i mean i can, but that’s if i live in a home with broken glass on the surface of every roof and wall and bars on the windows. and it is difficult to be that person and the real me. the real me gives no fucks because she knows you’ll pay for it.

.complaints but not really: i don’t have a boyfriend, my pink hdmi cable from a tiger store that was actually IN denmark and might’ve been the only thing i bothered buying myself (they even made little toys of me – but i didn’t buy them because i was offended that she had green eyes.) BROKE, i don’t have a girlfriend of any kind and probably won’t want one ever again, i don’t have a washing machine but i have a lot of laundry that needs doing and it’s a choice between unblocking my toilet AGAIN or washing my clothes that I probably won’t wear for ages, i don’t like other human beings – and i don’t need to do ANYTHING for other human beings not to like me – and i’m okay with it – and i don’t see myself ever not being okay with it

.positives: but i really like my little fucked up kitchen. most human beings couldn’t cope with a kitchen like this. i’m not showing off. i promise you there’s nothing to show off about this arrangement.

.but i am also showing off because WHO didn’t want one of those cute kids bedroom-baking ovens?

.and who my age wouldn’t of chosen death over most of my life, really

.note to self – i need a label maker.

.BRACE YOURSELF HENTAI-WEEBS

.

. I MEAN IT

.

I have dried tescos manuka honey on my face and £2 argan oil from a shoppe in west london in my hair. I have a squid in my mouth. #squidbillies

.i haven’t edited any of these and i actually feel lazy for it

.what looks like a really elaborate photoshoot is often a casual selfie

edited to add: i forgot to annotate this: i had to take the cold shoulder top that doesnt fit me off because i dropped squid on myself

.i wanted to be a fashion photographer. the kind that shot editorials and softcore pornography. my style of photography and the crops i use are indicative of the budget which i have always worked with (fucking eat or fucking buy this)

“he hides his issues, which is really kind because i dont want to know”

.i think people need to be told sometimes that my taste in tool and a perfect circle is ironic. there’s this terrible sense of humour about all of their songs and i think there’s some brain wave meme that might be able to explain the levels of understanding and that is my obnoxious inner teenager

who made an appearance to cosplay che guevara

the images were cut out from a maybe-not-vintage-but-definitely-early-nineties disney colouring book that i bought at the local oddity shoppe

while I was editing it I tried to explain what were recurring WW2 daydreams and PTSD flashbacks and nightmares in a concise non-specific narrative that is edgy enough to sell to hipsters

Earlier today I saw a post on my secondary school’s facebook about Chimamanda Ngozi’s Ted Talk. The second the video began to play I knew I’d be able to listen to her speaking for hours. I became very familiar with her story and I went on a lot of thought journeys but the ones I decided to annotate were the following:

.Ngozi Adichi talking about walking into a bookshoppe and asking for a book for a child in her family somehow took me on a thought journey through which I realised that the adult industry/the porn industry is probably the only industry that really pioneered the embraces the differences in performers of different nationalities/races and colours.

.Fairuza Balk might’ve been the first Arab woman I had ever seen in a film.
{American History X} {Doing a sex scene}

In 2012 I started planning working towards a graphic novel. That was seven years ago. These two images were taken from a mini-album on my behance.

I started illustrating the mis en scene using a graphics tablet and photographs because i couldn’t afford an artist who could draw the level of detail i’d of wanted. so i’d trace images and collage them into compositions. I was going through a lot of stuff that needed explanation and that was the only way I could do it.

i’d pick the lines that created the most distinctive shapes, and i’d draw over the objects and figures using the paint tool and the straight line function. I know there are all sorts of apps around that make it possible for a person to do that now, but I used to do it manually. I’d zoom into the images I was drawing over so that they were blown up pixel by pixel forms. I didn’t get how to find tutorials online and at the time there weren’t many around – so I had to work it all out for myself.

{Segueway: I got to play with the idea of filling a shop up with magazines I'd made.}

{

It meant I could play with dimension and proportion and use objects that I don’t think had ever been depicted together in 2D. If you’re curious as to why I chose to use a stock image of a laptop rather than my macbook (this girl and i brought in the idea of apple computers being domestic necessities.) it’s because I like the idea of playing with/exchanging/decorating external bodies.

If you have an idea – work on it for a minute to an hour to a week and keep it visible and come back to it. Anyway – it’s fun that I have some stuff to contribute to the thing that is really sitting at the back of my head.