Categories
BRIGHTON FOOD interiors Nagging STYLE WIDT

DO BOTH

My mobile phone remains unfound but I’ve managed to tidy my flat up in the search for it so it’s not an altogether terrible thing to have lost.

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I put lipliner, a lipgloss and some blusher on today. I’m thinking of making a youtube tutorial about it. (I’m not, that’s a joke. I’m trying to be funny. Sometimes I try to be funny on the internet and I am unsuccessful at being funny because most of the funny things I write are short statements that can be taken quite seriously by people who don’t share my humour.) (I am actually quite offended by people who do make up tutorials but haven’t studied make up or worked as a make up artist.) (Or studied chemistry, so that they can explain the ingredients. Why are so many women ‘famous’ for make up tutorials? I appreciate the idea of using your ‘personality’ to entertain people but so few people on the internet actually have a personality or care to admit what might’ve inspired their tastes in interiors or make up – and that kind of theft will only ever make you “famous” for a little while.)

The idea that people who studied and worked – and got bullied – for the notoriety that they aspired to just as much as uneducated celebrities that aspire to act but probably couldn’t write dissertation length essays analysing in depth the personalities of the characters they’ve been cast for is also offensive.

I am complaining a lot on my blog but my audiences, I’ve learned, only seem to enjoy knowing that I’m suffering.

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I like my outfit today. It’s a hand-me-down H&M shirt dress that I was given about twelve or so years ago now. I’m unsure it’s ever been washed and I’d quite like to have it taken in, in places.

This is what I look like without make up or fake tan.

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This was brunch. A pork steak with egg, mushrooms, sliced tomato and a spring onion.

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This might be the worst photograph I’ve ever taken but I love the edit.

I need a frame for this. How cute is my guide? (Well, I have a few guides – but how cute is this one?) (the female one with the eyelashes) (a lot of people/beings come with other halves, if you’re going to pursue a spirituality it’s wise to start with the ten commandments – basics – “don’t steal” “don’t covet” – you know. Before you decide between light and dark, know that you’re responsible enough without labelling yourself as either.

“Know thyself” is a really important one for spiritual people pursuing fame. Or have a teacher that knows the real you – so when you lose yourself she or he only needs to say one thing and she’ll have you running to your room crying happy tears because she remembers who you are, even after you’ve been through hell and back.

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If I do get invited to act – I’ll be taking this role. You won’t find anyone better.

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The image above is Toph from the children's Nickelodeon series - Aang the Last Airbender. 
The story of how I came to like this show is pretty good. I'll save it for my INTERVIEWS.

I’ll upload a picturegraph of me soon with make up to justify why I’d also be a great Azula incase you can’t find someone else.

I know I could do both.

Categories
BRIGHTON FOOD interiors STYLE WIDT

EOS |

I’m having a snuggly period day. I contacted the Citizens Advice Bureau regarding my issues with the Job Centre and quite frankly that was exhausting. I have emailed their ‘manager’ and he’s yet to respond – either he is stressed out because he has to fire at least three people or he’s in on it. I read somewhere that 83% or so people in the UK have a job. If that is the case – why did the Job Centre fight to justify giving me £317 pounds a month to live off? As if this country is struggling? The amount increased after a conversation I shouldn’t of been forced to have – but they really tried pushing that I should be able to live on £317 a month.

Either way I have to locate a small diary of mine and start an official complaint with DWP. I can’t locate my phone either which is a nightmare. Not because I use it to socialise but because I missed a call from Tescos about a shop and I was asleep when they were scheduled to arrive. I’ve no idea how I didn’t hear the bell, the bell is loud and my flat is small. And I quite like it like that.

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I’ve finally invested in a clothing rail. It’s from John Lewis and it’s very sensibly priced. If you’re looking for a rail that’s under £40 that won’t slide to the left with a few heavy items then click here. I’ll get a better picturegraph soon, when I’ve colour coordinated and arranged as many garments onto it as I can manage.

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A neighbour is coming over to help me organise my flat, install a lock in my bathroom and on my window and to put up a feature wall with some wilko wallpaper (I want to insert one of those big grin emojis but it’s actually a very nice wallpaper). That bottle of wine on my counter is for him. I’ll need a better photograph of that too – the art is inspired by a Titan Goddess called Eon and I bought it from a local shoppe here. It’s not an old wine but I think it’ll look nice ageing in his kitchen. I ought to get him some other bits too.

Edited to add: Here's the photo of the wine that I promised myself I'd upload.

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And the back.

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"Eos is a Titaness and the Goddess of the dawn, who rose each morning from her home at the edge of the Oceanus to announce her brother Helios, the sun. 
As Goddess of the dawn it was her duty to open the gates of heaven so Helios could drive his chariot across the sky every day."

[edited Wednesday the Seventeenth of April, 2019]

I watched a few episodes of Salad Fingers and Marie Antoinette today. I want to invest in adding sleeves to everything I own. I am a sleeve person.

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I had elderflower cordial, lemon and nectarine noodles with lemon, red pepper, sweetcorn and garlic and a ferrero rocher today, before having 1000 mg of a painkiller (paracetamol – every tablet is 500mg) that has yet to help the pain at all. I know that people have been prescribed weed for my bowel condition but the fact that women can have period cramps like mine and sooner be encouraged to take harmful medicines that stay in your body for twenty five years (and trust me – they do) is terrible. If you really think that both the NHS and the pharmaceutical companies manufacturing these medicines don’t benefit from the lies that pharmacists and doctors are often bribed to tell, to endorse these drugs you’re completely foolish. Did you know that as far as the sciences go, we’ve reached breakthroughs that mean that technically NO ONE should experience pain? It shouldn’t be a thing anymore. As in the NHS and their manufacturers sell you medicine that keeps you ill and test their new drugs on you (they do, and they do not have to tell you they’re doing it either) – you might’ve heard the phrase “it’s a new drug” – thats code for “you’re a test subject”.

When I was about seventeen or sixteen I had a birthday in Camden. My friends and I smoked shisha at a bar there and some strangers came and sat beside us. It was a heterosexual couple and I remember them often. The woman, as I recall, wore a hat and had short hair. She told me that she worked for a company that manufactured drugs for people with AIDS and that the disease officially had a cure. This was years ago. She told me that it was technically an inexpensive drug.

A teacher of mine once told me, knowing that I had an “audience” of sorts of promiscuous and irresponsible gay men who weren’t pursuing love but were pursuing as much sex as they possibly could – to avoid gay men. She did not explain why. She taught me (a person who sort of used to wish she was a boy and who used to scream “IM A BOY” at her mother and who might’ve been born a hermaphrodite but whatever) not to have sex with someone until I’d been in their company for two weeks. Some people can have sex without getting attached emotionally, those people – she told me – make fantastic prostitutes. Some people get attached emotionally when they have sex and obviously they do not make fantastic prostitutes because it ends up damaging them psychologically. The gay men I thought of at the time – some of which were actually probably more effeminate than me – ended up having successful, first attempts at serious long term relationships using her advice. If you have sex with someone before a two week period of spending time together constantly – it will only ever be about sex. It’ll be a prolonged one night stand. At the time I didn’t realise why she’d said what she said, about homosexuals – an uncle of hers had died of aids and had not been told he had it by the STD clinics. It is a form of population control. She is a person of colour, and the virus was initially administered to people of colour and it was easiest to do so through homosexual men. Do not trust the NHS or STD clinics – if you are promiscuous and if you have unprotected sex (I am not promiscuous but I do have unprotected sex – I am severely allergic to latex) invest in a private GP. I recommend Dr Coxon – Lady Diana visited her. She was tested positive as pregnant shortly before her murder. (Not awkward at all)

Fortunately people can be moved into new bodies, a fact I’m sure people have become aware towards. (They’re not ‘computers’, they’re new bodies. AWKWARD ISN’T IT)

The NHS refused to continue employing Dr Coxon after she made a habit of insisting treatment for children whose families were being lied to about whether they could benefit from said treatments. As in – children who were going to be left to die by the NHS.

Nothing is free, the NHS convinces you it is – but it isn’t. And be careful with giving out sperm for STD checks – they do sell it on if you’re fertile and free of STDs. Why on Earth do you think that they need to check your SPERM for STDS?

If I am given a prescription to smoke weed – and I should be, if not for my condition then at the very least for the PTSD that the NHS are responsible for and a life story that would  probably make me quite eligible for euthanasia in certain countries – I will probably test the weed being provided by the NHS, but realistically when I know (trust me on this) that most of the weed being sold on the streets is being sold by the police (sad, isn’t it.) and that the pharmaceutical companies are so deeply invested in keeping people on drugs that give them more problems than they solve, and that the uneducated social “elite” (we can’t call you that anymore, you are comparatively less educated than most of our countries poor people that you keep poor) are still convinced that cannabis perpetuates proletariat subcultures and gang warfare when – it is really just our police – I will probably have to research the laws on growing. And even then I’m uncertain and uneducated about the strains attached to the seeds being sold on the market.

I recently telephoned the police with regards to making them aware that I was pretty certain my laptop was being hacked by locals (I went to University with a ‘youtube celebrity’ so I have no doubts that there are ‘youtube celebrities’ that know who I am, I was unimpressed by ‘youtube celebrity’ then and I continue to be for the most part. External beauty I am always impressed by, for a time) and I did discuss the local laws pertaining to weed here. No one will share a contact with me because they all know that I’m stalked by the police, too.

Who cares that I’m in constant physical pain. Haha. Who cares that I’m probably tired because my body has to exert energy to not feel that pain. Haha.

Imagine if all the footballers, police and other stupid people just dropped fucking dead. Haha.

O0o Dinner is an avocado, an onion, a tomato, lemon and seven prawns. But it’s being served with vintage silver wear on a tray (I think the fork was a tenner from the local brick-a-brack) so I’m still fancy. #5vegetablesaday

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(I’m sitting here laughing that people actually think that this is a legitimate meal portion. And technically I’ve eaten more king prawns today – fourteen – than most people are served at Chinese Restaurants in a single portion.)

Categories
BRIGHTON DIY interiors WIDT

K L I M T W O O D C U T S

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I’ve invested in carving tools from Hobby Craft. So far I recommend this kit if you’re invested in learning. I recommend an attending an art class before you start going for it – and I do not mean “watching a youtube video”. I started learning linocutting at about sixteen years old, in college. There is certainly a wealth of information available online but it does not and will never, ever beat actually studying under the guidance of someone who has studied the Arts for their entire life. If your favourite artist youtuber was supposed to be a teacher, they would be. I am qualified to be an Art teacher – frankly no one can afford me. Not because I’m the very greatest artist in the World, but because I come with the kind of perks that you read about in Hogwarts books.

Anyway. I’m using the linocutting tools to cut wood.

I ought to experiment with new mark making techniques, and I think you have to of spent hours sanding things to understand how to cope with the wood grain. which is very resistant.  I’m painting the block gold and considering it an homage to Gustav Klimt. Maybe if I do it for afew years I’ll be able to call it a talent.

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When this one’s finished I believe I’ll be putting it in my bathroom. It’s bigger than it looks. SPEAKING OF TOILETTES. Every fucking time I use that fucking toilet it blocks. I don’t know what tiny thing I can use to create a visual image for you, reader dearest, so as to somehow illustrate how fucking tiny the shits people in Brighton must be taking – is the word “flush power?” right here? I don’t have hangers to waste, trying to unblock the toilet every time I use it. Imagine all the wire hangers sitting in those apocalyptic waste landfills – I refuse to buy hangers I won’t want to keep forever. They’re just another one of those things that people mindlessly invest in.

I spent a lot of today just resting and meditating. I’ve nearly filled another box of – some very ‘expensive’ clothes for charity. I know people use Depop but if I’m honest, I would feel quite dishonest selling these clothes. I don’t like them. I’d quite genuinely feel like I was stealing if I tried to charge someone for them. Some of these items are worth hundreds I think – or were certainly sold for that. So if you’re around the Old Age charity near Kemptown, that’s where I’ll be dropping them off.

I’ve cleaned my kitchen a little, eaten four chicken thighs today and I’m currently STILL HUNGRY. This is not greed – I am genuinely experiencing actual hunger. Have you heard what happens when I go to sleep hungry? teeheehee

ALSO: Have you seen Claymore? I’m watching Claymore at the moment. They have a term “voracious eaters” and uh. Yeah.

I’d play no one else if someone asked me to be in Claymore. (But my heights wrong, I wouldn’t accept the role.)

 

Categories
BRIGHTON FOOD interiors PINK Uncategorized WIDT

#widt

I overate today. For breakfast I had two bacon in Vietnamese rice paper rolls coated with lemon and caramel. Then I ate a salad. I ate a lot of bacon in moments between that. I also ate a lot of biscuits. Then I had a pasta with pesto and salad for dinner. I’m about to serve myself another serving of pasta. I have cooked enough pasta for about thirty people this evening. No like. come on, self. Probably three or four servings worth for very, very hungry people. I used half a jar of pesto for my first serving. I imagine I will use the other half now. I am still hungry.

So as avid readers know – I know I must have a few of you, though I imagine most of you have downloaded Tor or some other anonymous browser. That’s actually really rude but whatever. I’m sorting out my flat a little bit every day. I moved the boxes by my cupboard a bit.

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gradual. a process.

the living area of my flat is “art studio slash games room slash “wardrobe”

my kitchen vibe is chinese/japanese/tibetan/thai cottage cum apothecary cum acupuncturists medicinal cabinet

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I made some wings using pressed tulip petals. i enjoy pressing flowers. I placed them on the illustration above. If you are into 3D work or  special effects, I recommend using tulips as fairy wings. They dry really well and have ‘veins’.

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I’m putting together a collection of greetings cards, called “seventeen”. Iunno when they’ll be done but I’d like to sell them locally.

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If I “inspire” you, credit me. I have no doubt that my ideas have made countless people money – the least you can do is credit the person that inspired you. That kind of decency comes back to you many times over.

And remember that just because you can access a memory where I get a psychic reading, doesn’t mean it’s free. I had to pay for those – so once again, have the decency to credit me for paying for information you convinced yourself was for you. Also – I have made it abundantly easy to get in touch with me on the internet. If you want a psychic reading you can BUY ONE off ME. I am amongst the best psychics you will EVER meet and I have helped more people to realise truths about existence on this Planet than I will ever perhaps be given credit for.

 

Categories
BRIGHTON FOOD WIDT

WIDT | BRIGHTON | POLPO REVIEW

#OOTD
Heartshaped Glasses - Amazon | Earring - HM 2016 | Dress | 
Tights - BLOCH | Shoes - Public Desire

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The best thing about this look is the tights from BLOCH. 
Dancer's tights are better value for your money than any other tights
you'll find on the market. 

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They pull you in in all the right places and they can take pressure - 
they don't snag easily.

I do not ascribe to the cheap consumerist culture of buying shitty
pairs of tights and then throwing them out after you've worn them
once or twice.  Invest in decent tights - they last for years.
Learn how to take care of tights too. These are handwash only.

First things first.

Nearly totally wet me’self on what turned out to be like a nigh on one hour walk to the bank IN HEELS. Thanks to the pub that let me use their loo.

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I’m really enjoying ponytails and fringes, I did a meditation with the woman who illustrated the Rider Waite Tarot cards. For a limited time only I’ll be doing readings on my site channelling her – as you all know I can. Pamela Colman Smith. The internet is telling everyone she liked to call herself “Pixie” – that is nonsense. If I picked a parent for her in this time and place, I would pick Dre. I actually struggle to believe that she would’ve made ‘nicknames’ public – she died lonely, alone and friendless. As she would have, Tarot cards have given their readers a lot of power and knowledge that has threatened the patriarchy deeply. She was from Brooklyn. She was in various SECRET societies. She valued the vibration in a NAME. “pixie“? Really? No, no thank you. Later I shall upload some photographs of me that I found in an old diary. There’s one where I wear necklaces the way she does. I love the thought of her time travelling to dress me. If it wasn’t for her cards, and Lisa, I might have died.

http3a2f2fwww.controverscial.com2fpamela_colman-smith_3

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Here’s a life hack. Remember >>this?<<

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I got that to look like that by being a person who decides when she’s gonna pee. And I have had extra large wine bottles shoved up there – much bigger than a baby’s head wine bottles. Ignore the health risks – those are bullshit.

I’m sure I’ll rewrite books on childrearing at some point but if you’re giving birth – smoke weed and masturbate. A lot. Weed is stronger than morphine. I’ve done enough of both  – in serious levels of pain – to know, thank you.

I played dress up in a charity shoppe. I fell in love with this little hairband. I made it look trashy and tacky. Both of those words I comfortably hope to live up to… forever.

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When I was younger, I used to go to shoppes with friends and pick out the most hideous dresses to play dress up with in the changing room. I actually quite liked this one and I left it in the changing room hoping that someone with a little more cash to spend than I had would find it and that it would work for them.

I had to change into ballet shoes because the walk from my place to my bank was mad.

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I went to @Polpo in Brighton yesterday, beside the theatre.

It’s close to fancier shops (I got to take a look around Kurt Geiger, which was still open when I walked out) and a taxi rank.

The atmosphere was unpretentious, and the food was good – although the staff probably need lessons in manners and good service. I felt uncomfortable when two absolutely lovely mature women came in and the lady at the bar didn’t get the fuck out of the bar to help them find seats, or call over one of her colleagues and that’s probably why I’m starting off what would be an otherwise positive review with negativity. I worked in service in bars, restaurants, cafes and in retail, where I struggled to learn the specific details because I take time to settle in – my strength was in making the people I was serving feel like they were being taken care of and they were a priority. My service is so good I will make you feel comfortable being a snob in Slug and Lettuce. As a child, I associated with family who were diplomats and also Jordanian royalty – a descendent of the Prophet Mohammed to be really snide. My vision of the kind of service that deserves being paid-for came from seeing how they were treated, the hostesses at Emirates (I wouldn’t hostess for anyone else and I have issues with their outdated tattoo policy and questionable residency policies also.) and the spiritual school I went to, which taught that service to others was the only worthy aspiration. If you’re one of those wannabe dominatrixes – you have to be able to do both. If you offer shit service you’re never gonna get good service. If you run a business and you aren’t able to do every single job, you can’t expect a standard from anyone else. I’m actually quite offended by people who think they have any business pretending they’re into BDSM – using other people to build your own poor self esteem, or stalking people ‘out of love’ or anything like that is repulsive. It makes you look stupid later when the person you really, really believe really, really wants you to pursue them ends up being superior to you with far less cash. (Cash that you probably stole off your parents without giving anything back. Or cash from a job your parents probably arranged for you.) (All of it – deeply sad.)

Back to Polpo. As I was authoring this (ofcourse I returned to write later-) I heard the words “it’s owned by a vampire” – on Wendy Williams. I had to rewind the video to hear her say “it’s owned by an empire

I didn’t feel unsafe leaving my tap water and my prosecco unattended at the moodily lit bar (it was very new york filter) and I could leave my shopping bags (£1 shoppe and charity shoppe) on the floor beside the bar.
That’s much more significant than you’d think in the U.K – I recall that Danes could leave their drinks unattended in venues in Denmark but I never really felt comfortable doing that because I was a street kid at heart. Keep your things close, at heart. Which is how most Londoners act actually.

It was a comfortable bar that attracted an elegant slash laidback crowd that treated it like a fancy pub – if you go – look nice but not five star nice. ITS A VIBE

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a bit

and I got to read through their recipe book – I wish I could’ve afforded to buy a copy because their desserts were fun – and there was a lot of information that made me feel more confident dialoguing with butchers.

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Above I had a Panna Cotta with Tescos mixed berries (which taste 
really good - not a poorly advised purchase nor intended as an insult), 
I had a look at the recipe for the dish in their book and they use a 
lot of vanilla pods - and those aren't cheap. 

It was about £6 for the dessert and if you were looking to go 
somewhere inexpensive for something sweet, I'd recommend it. 

I was genuinely impressed with the level of preparation
that goes into their desserts, actually.

I can comfortably recommend their steak dish, medium rare for me.

As far as critique goes – the meat was well prepared and tasted good. The issue was actually presentation and how it was served – it’s not gourmet dining, and I think the dish should’ve been accompanied by a condiment. I felt rude seasoning it with salt, but it needed something extra.

It was comfortable to eat my meal at the bar, because it was served on a dessert plate. I didn’t feel like I was taking up too much room – even though the bar was active. People weren’t downing their drinks, they were there to converse – and there was no rush or pressure to get people out. I actually felt to stay for longer but I’m on a tight budget right now. If I were trying to plan a date, I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable arranging for a drink, olives and the steak dish as an appetiser to share before moving to the seating area or even going to the theatre. I wasn’t kept waiting after ordering, either.

I know people don’t often go to bars to eat and drink – but you really could at Polpo.

I’m not going to be dishonest here – I wasn’t taken by the olives, people sitting beside me loved theirs – but I’m really particular about olives. I’ll put it down to a preference for the cheap kind *sunglasses emoji* – when they’re preserved in brine, rather than olive oil. Especially when they’ve been left in the jar for long enough that the tastes combine.

I personally think serving olives with a stone is a risk in a bar that puts you at close proximity with people you don’t know. If I were running the restaurant I’d have a choice between the two.

The decor was thoughtful – and fully instagrammable. The music wasn’t trendy, it had pop moments and trumpet moments and it worked with the customers. I enjoyed people watching. For a moment, when I was cutting my olives – as I had seen it done in an episode of Tom and Jerry – I thought I could hear this song.

Is You Is, Or Is You Ain't My Baby as performed by Tom
My sense of humour is all Cool Runnings and Tom and Jerry. And
the nervous breakdowns in Fawlty Towers.

A Youtube Video uploaded by @Doc Henry

Description: Jazz song from cartoon Tom and Jerry (1946) Performed 
by Ira "Buck" Woods

I was thinking of... Craig the barman... 
Obviously I am not Craig the barman's baby but he wishes I was. I know
because I felt embarrassed for him that he couldn't run out to ask
me for my number. You have five seconds to comply and then you are
very much forgotten, Craig the barman.

Craig the barman was a decent flirt who didn’t need to make eye contact, conversate or otherwise intrude on your meal. Every single woman – and man, I believe – at that bar was obsessing over him. Self included. Who taught you that game, Craig. He was only interested in a girl with a bejewelled marie antoinettey afro – I know because same.

I had a small three course meal for £30. If you’re on a paleo diet (ugh) – or a boxer’s diet – you’d enjoy it.


I was going to dye my hair purple but I walked into a hairdresser’s and they offered me a different price to the one on their list. Offer what you’re advertising, if there are errors in your advertising do not offend potential clients by making creative amendments. You come out looking dishonest and if I can’t trust you to offer me the same price on your price list, I’m not trusting you with my amazing hair.

I’ll do my own hair, it’ll look better than the hairdresser that served me – whose hair did not serve as good advertising for her shop. I hope it wasn’t her shop. What a shame though. She seemed to know exactly how much cash I had in my account too. Such a creep.

I went elsewhere to buy anti-frizz serum and dry shampoo.

Categories
BRIGHTON FOOD WIDT

BUTCHER

Two posts in a day. I’m proud.

I sound sarcastic occasionally when in actuality, I’m only sincere. When I attempt sarcasm it’s usually quite awkward.  Here’s my flat. I live alone. I am great at living with other people but I prefer to live alone. I’m healthier that way.

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I am the kind of person to really enjoy revisiting the past through blog posts. The kind of person to love documenting her bedrooms because I go through them so fast.

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The local butcher told me that his shoppe had been open for a hundred years – and when I sought to pay for the sausages using my bank card he very kindly gifted them to me as he didn’t accept payments from those. That traditional.

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I returned the favour by gifting him a scented candle from a local bookshop the next day, accompanied by a thankyou note. I suppose I ought to remind myself to write to him regarding what I thought about his produce.

The sausages actually took minimal preparation – I popped them into a tinfoil case coated in lemon, and after about twenty minutes in the oven I added a capful of olive oil.

The dish on the side took much more preparation, I used raw chopped spinach, sliced garlic, sliced lemon from the local organic health food store, mozzarella cheese from Tescos, and goats cheese from a local pop up farmer’s market, sliced chilli from Tescos, Shiitake mushrooms and Oyster mushrooms coated in truffle oil and double cream – also from the local pop up farmer’s market.

It’s the first proper meal I’ve prepared myself while I’ve been here – it was delicious.

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I get that the rings look like wedding rings – they cost like, maybe less than a tenner and frankly I’d rather kill myself than marry someone – unless I was trying to get revenge on them for date raping me or something.

Categories
BRIGHTON WIDT

A TREMENDOUSLY LAZY SUNDAY

It’s Sunday afternoon. I’ve sort-of-kind-of made my bed; I’m sharing it with a vintage tray, a little proletariat tub of milk which I ought to recycle later to deter myself from using it as a flask – because I do have a very pretty little china – I think – mug. I’ve shifted my duvet to the side. My inner design-control freak hates herself for it but my inner-homer-simpson could not care less.

Also that illustration I did of Sephiroth is a smirking bedfellow, holding a Vogue cigarette in his hand – he pointed at my phone earlier and I realised I had missed a parcel from Marks and Spencers. I’ve bought myself a night dress, from the Marks and Spencers >> Rosie Huntington-Whiteley collection <<

I have recently bought phone credit which doesn’t sound like much of a luxury but it is – actually – and while being aware of the fact is not fantastic practice for the Art of Manifestation when it comes to manifesting wealth – it is when you try to manifest a sincere awareness of the struggles and divides between people who have different ideas of necessity versus luxury: because you’d like to manifest a future that involves being able to serve others. Which does require empathy and a capacity for genuine – not feigned – appreciation. Also I find beauty in being creative with what I’ve got. I could’ve bought a thing with my credit-money, could’ve bought more cigarettes.

No but – lets get onto how povo I am right now. I’m trying to regrow my hair and strengthen my nails by drinking more milk. I’ve never been much of a milk drinker. I’ve refilled the plastic carton with hot chocolate, powdered milk and warm water because I’m unsure as to how plastic reacts microscopically to boiling water. I mean it doesn’t look like it’s melted but I assume it has. I have a mug.
As an infant I was hospitalised for two weeks – due to what was believed to be a severe allergy to milk. I kept nearly dying and probably did die, because how else do you explain how my eyes went from blue to brown? I appreciate that there are children who can change their DNA – but there is no version of me that would have wanted her eyes to go from blue to brown. (Although I do love brown eyes, I looked better with blue ones.)

Anyway. I’m going to do some illustration and meditate and do lazy Sunday-ish things. Perhaps I will watch some episodes of Inuyasha and then later pop out to see what I can buy with the money I have left in my account. Perhaps I will go to a cafe if I can bring myself to.

This is really digressing: but people keep signing emails off with ‘best wishes’. It’s irritating because I feel as though they’ve never been taught about how meaningful correspondence can be between two people. Use other words. Find a personal lexis to convey how you truly feel. Even if it is just a two sentence email.

“All the best”, “best wishes” – do you know how insincere you sound @sender?

All the best what? Are you even able to comprehend or otherwise gauge what you could possibly be implying when you start throwing around words like “THE BEST” – THE BEST WHAT? If you gave me the impression you were conversationally capable, if I really really cared – I’d ask you as if you were an all knowing genie: “could you tell me what the very best wishes might be?” and if I pitied you I’d pretend not to notice.

I assume you’ve never been taught better – take a word you use so often that it has lost it’s meaning and replace it with a better one. How do you decide upon a better word? Well, different people are inclined towards different methods of building up vocabularies. Stan Lee likes onomatopoeias (words that sound like what they’re trying to describe, noise-words) and I quite like alliteration and extended sentences with commas in between things. Some people like to use very brief sentences and have made an art of being succinct. I’m verbose. It means I lose a potential audience by writing too much.

I think one of Bob Marley’s children said that her work wasn’t for everyone and that’s how I feel about my diaries. Quality audiences over quantitive audiences.

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Just to say – when we look to history, we learn about our predecessors from the very briefest messages and letters that people would annotate to one another. There are people who can analyse a person’s entire personality and mood based on their handwriting – their romantic ligatures, even misspellings. Do I judge your personality based on how you structure emails? A BIT – I’M NOT GOING TO LIE TO YOU.

And being able to write really is a struggle for people with dyslexia – but when you can write something that makes people feel it really doesn’t matter that you struggle with spelling. Have you ever seen scans of Kurt Cobain’s diary?

Here are some scans. It’s beautiful – because he really meant everything he ever said or did.

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I found these on google.

Categories
BRIGHTON WIDT

I W O U L D (S E A S I D E)

Look! It’s future me.

Pendulum - Slam, uploaded by @Shadowrend68

I don't know who illustrated this.
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I need a cute nightdress. I like babydolls. Not hinting but definitelysortof hinting.

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I keep seeing online shoppes throwing around the word “kimono” and it’s a bit off. It’s probably offensive to the people who actually manufacture or design them – by hand, most often. A local Japanese artist called >> @Seiko Kato << (she might be one of my new favourite artists – also her photos are so obscured but she’s my new obsession.) purchases and imports vintage, silk, hand-sewn one off Kimono from home – for my new favourite vintage shop in Brighton. If you live in the United Kingdom and you’re interested in buying unique Kimono, please visit >> The Vintage Workshop. <<

I spent a little-too-long in the shoppe trying them on.

I didn’t find the one I’ve had in my mind for years – I need exaggerated sleeves – really, really long ones. But there are lots there that are technically under-garments but would be perfect to wear for going out. If you work for topshop or asos, please stop ruining google (or otherwise pretending you have any place working in fashion marketing at all, actually) by using the word to sell whatever it is you’re selling.

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It was not weather appropriate to go wading in the sea but I did. Legs unshaven and everything. There was something in my Jim Al-Khalili book on Quantum Mechanics for science novices about bullets reverberating off tissue paper and that took me on a fantastic imaginative journey. I actually recommend this book, it’s a Lady Bird published non-fiction that skims over various thoughts on Quantum Physics and I sort of wished my GCSE Physics tutor was around so I could debate with him about how outdated it is. It’s all science and no wisdom.

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I sat in a Hotel Bar and had a ‘Princess Tea’. I pronounced it Prince’sssssssssss tea. As if a snake were hissing it. I purchased this book from a charity shoppe two minutes away from my studio flat. I made notes, perhaps I will mail it to the Dalai Lama. All Wisdom, to balance the all pseudo-science (there was an assertion somewhere in my quantum physics book about how one of the World’s geniuses stated that we know everything about the laws of physics and I think I cough laughed to myself.)

This photo was taken by the Hotel on the seafront. The service was poor. I make better sandwiches. The desserts – looked – looked pretty – but I was disappointed. I was impressed by a warm scone and the (lets be honest: cheap) jam that had been scooped out of a jar.

It was the first time I’ve truly enjoyed a prosecco though. (I asked for a raspberry and a slice of lemon, I got the latter. I don’t know what plebian Hotel bar slash restaurant – and not the other way around – kitchen doesn’t have raspberries stocked in the fridges??)

(To reiterate – the cheap kind.)

I’m very keen to emerge in the local art scene. There are open house art exhibitions in Brighton and there’s one coming up soon, so I’m trying to put together a few collections of work for my favourite local shoppes. Legs and heels and lingerie scribbles have been me since forever, and cakes, and flowers.

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The surface top of my sort-of dining area looks like this right now. I’ll describe them below.

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Above – to the far left, a recycled pot of raspberries I think I’ll be delivering to the aforementioned Hotel, with soil and seeds inside – the white stuff is from the remnants of a plant the waves left on the seashore that I used to fertilise my plants and hope to make a kind of compost with. To the far upper right, a glimpse of a gift for my secondary school teacher – who is now a head mistress. A belated congratulations and a belated birthday present – we share a birthdate. I think I’ll be donating some of my art and mythology books to the school library as well as I don’t have the space for them anymore after being legally evicted from my mother’s home. (I know she already regrets the fact and feels retarded for it, I’m waiting for a profuse apology.)

Actually if she comes across this – I do have a song. We used to go on drives through the desert in Dubai listening to this.

@Alanis Morrisette - Wake Up uploaded by @rita

Did you know that you can protect people from their karma?
You'll learn soon enough.

You do pay for it though, even if you're doing a "good thing."

An oil and some seeds I purchased from >>TVW<<. A piece of art I worked on last night. Mechanical Pencil + Water colour + Liquitex Pen + Vintage thread. A white rabbit gift for my spiritual teacher Lisa’s sonnephew. And a moment please – that Guacamole is the best I’ve ever had. And that means something from me – I’m partly southern American. I bought it from a local grocer’s called >>Ricci’s<<.

 

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Sephirot emerging from black materia.

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I’m reluctant to share the name of this Shoppe, so I won’t – because I want to buy everything for myself sometime. I don’t know – for certain – though, that people should be purchasing their decorative interiors in London anymore…

Wouldn’t one of these Tibetan-esque Spaniels meets the Chinese Dragon meets Japanese waves look perfect on my sort-of-fireplace?

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We’ll see when London remembers to miss me. (A paid scholarship to RADA would be nice. Not hinting.)

 

Categories
BRIGHTON

B R I G H T O N

I’m going to be very tacky and announce I’ve relocated to a wonderful studio flat in Brighton in the form of a shopping list. I’m playing around with the idea of authoring a book on interior design.

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Tile Trivet, Picasso’s Ceramics Cafe, Painted by me

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Tulips (Sainsburys, Brighton) sitting in a bottle of Maple Syrup with hand painted gold handle.

If you want to test the tap water of a new home, buy some flowers. See how they react to it.

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Eulogia Coffee Table – (Online) Urban Outfitters, Mint Trunk – Habitat in Brighton, Slate Coaster – Amazon, Concrete Vase – Hackney Charity Shop Find, Gold Metallic Paint (Online) Cass Art, Mickey Mouse hand cream – Superdrug, Oil Burner – Amazon, Red Tassel taken from a perfume I received two birthdays ago.

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I’m doing the energy-redirecting Botticelli’s Venus pose here, my knees aren’t positioned at different heights. Actually if you saw how I was balancing on a chair you’d appreciate how proud of myself I was for balancing so well.

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Bunny Slipper Socks – Tiger, Coat – Jigsaw (Second hand), Striped Knickers – probably from Tescos circa more than ten years ago, Cardigan – Marks & Spencers (Second Hand)

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Frisian Cow Milk Jug – Tiger, Brighton, Tulips – Sainsburys, Brighton

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Lucky Cat Sponge Holder – Tiger, Brighton, Slate Coaster – Amazon, Jimmy’s Iced Coffee – Sainsburys

I look moody but I’m euphoric. Refer to >> this instagram post. << Secret: I stole this joke from a Horrible Histories book – I think it was one about the Victorians.

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The day I arrived, I went out when the shoppes were closing and bumped into Habitat, quite concerned that I wouldn’t find a place to buy things from before closing time. Habitat was open though and had many beautiful items. I bought my new favourite sheets ever. I don’t want to be one of those people that buys a room full of items from one shoppe though, on the same season.

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Oh – and I’m being tremendously military-bohemian here.