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After having a day of “playtime” I ended up being really happy with my scribbles and arrived at the aesthetic I wanted for my site. Everything from the use of colour to symbols carries a lot of personal meaning to me. The waves on the left were a vision I had when I meditated thinking of the Dalai Lama, the arched window beneath it is a scribble of something my spiritual teacher suggested that I want to eventually shoot – when she saw my business card she said she saw an image of me standing beneath an arched window that twirled up in some kind of fifty twirl pixel typhoon (at which point I took out the other half of a twirl I had bought and gave it to her.)

I’m really excited about this little business. I’ve kept it really simple and I hope to add to it every time I receive some kind of information that I think might help others or answer a question or encourage them to daydream.
I’ve arranged to have a sign printed and I’d like to rent a street stall at some point in the future so I can start doing readings. I’m trying to change the ‘tarot’ reading format to include positivity, suggestions for affirmations and manifesting.

My teacher told me that in her experience she had found that when people obsess about the future and constantly talk to psychics about it – doing so often ends up simply changing it.
So I think it’s important to try and adopt my past methodology, inspired by my teacher – which was to try and help a person identify their behavioural cycles.
When I lived in Farnham I wanted to start a business called “indigo friend” which basically meant I would just talk to people when they were having a hard time. To be honest that business model would’ve been quite risky – I ended up ignoring that business idea and still attracting a lot of people in my life that needed that “friend” and they didn’t really listen to my advice anyway.
When I had an account on Oranum – I tried to emphasise a ‘counselling’ approach and focus on explaining my customers pasts and present so that they can shape their own future.

If you are a good reader and you’ve developed a kind of self-honesty that has allowed you to exit your more toxic cycles and you think that any of this would be good advice for your own business model or you think you would like to adopt this format, I’d be happy for you to do so, which is why I’m divulging it.

I’ve found that men are quite frightened by people who know things that they don’t – so  they often make women feel stupid for finding hope in the possibility of a better future, but they rarely see how they are contributing to the problem they’re having.
When you, for example, talk to a guys girlfriend and give her some hope about a relationship (which would really change of it’s own accord if she could simply become self aware) … the girl just continues her own behaviours and doesn’t change because she’s so sure her relationship is going to work and the guy just.. ends up running away.

I’m also going to do ‘finding your twinflame’ classes – turns out that’s a pretty great talent of mine. (If they don’t find them, I usually end up finding them…)


If you are an excellent chess player and you’ve a knack for predicting the future I advise you take on the Matrix – Oracle’s methods of divination… which is to predict the future of every archetype surrounding the one you’re speaking to, predict their response upon finding out & lying a little bit.


If you’re a psycho, do it my way

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Today I’m doing some art that I’d like to go on one of my sites, if it turns out right. I illustrated what I saw in the mirror. She’s a little bit too thin, her belly button protruded to the left in the mirror.

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I’m enjoying this music today. Is 3:15 PM a little early?

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I wrote this while I was channelling. This isn’t my handwriting at all. And when I wrote the words ‘im here’ – thunder actually struck outside my bedroom window.

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Ophiuchus, ether, the snake bearer. The unacknowledged thirteenth sign.

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I illustrated “my” own ouroboros, I picked an eight because that number holds a lot of significance to me – as does the eight of swords.

I’m trying to cut down on smoking, so I’m vaping again. It works, smokers!
Okay now I need a glass of water because I feel a bit dehydrated.

Edited on 24th April to add

OMG HOW INCREDIBLE IS BEYPHOMET

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I’m not through the whole video but I’ve gone on a very, very fast paced personal thought journey in listening to this speech by the Dalai Lama, so far.

I will share one aspect – that isn’t so apparent in his speech, not necessarily directly relevant to it – but he does speak about inner value. I’ve had a hard time with inner value – I spent a lot of my life dreaming. Sometimes picking up a momentum to do a project and often relying on people I believed to be friends to see the potential in my ideas that I always saw in them and their own and follow my thread of thought – and help me. Perhaps quite wrongly doing so.

But my sense of value often came from work and potential.

When I left the psychiatric ward I spent a lot of time in a medically induced sleep – so – where I had been lethargic for a large part of my life I then entered a sleep by force in accepting I should be medicated – when I should never have been medicated at all.

But I was compliant and I think in being so, managed to be able to develop an opinion about what I truly consider to be an evil to humanity: and perhaps an entire industry that is stagnating human evolution. I entered a half way house at about the same time I entered into a relationship with a psychiatric nurse that was selected for me, through deception. If you can believe it was a coincidence that I met a psychiatric nurse, that is a wonderful but naive state of being – the belief in coincidence at all isn’t really a spiritual truth that any of the spiritual teachers that resonate with me teach. There are a lot of names for the notion of coincidence – but two people cannot meet by chance, the timing might be divine: that two beings that connect with one another and help one another to grow can come across each other is perhaps magical, but no relationship is or has ever been simply a coincidence. And this relationship was no coincidence – and I knew it at the time but I ignored the intuition. If you’ve ever been in a half way house, run by women who get their sense of self from convincing themselves they’re helping people by keeping them in a kind of regimented prison (that not a single one of the residents wanted to be in) you’d perhaps be able to understand. I know a good writer is supposed to help their reader acquire a sense of empathy by describing something with such detail that the reader lives it – but nothing I could say could help you live my personal experience. Nothing.

I entered a relationship for the wrong reasons. I was completely alone and I wanted someone to help me through a terrifying situation. He was a psychiatric nurse – and in our last conversation he told me that ultimately it bothered him that I “wasn’t doing anything”. It wasn’t inaccurate – I dropped out of an MA course. That I also pursued for the wrong reasons.

I could’ve gone on a verbal tirade about why I wasn’t doing anything – about how in some form… I felt that every one of my dreams had been stolen from me by people who undermined my self worth and made me feel like I wasn’t talented – about how the medication I was on had completely torn me apart physically. I didn’t bother.
Thats not even mentioning that medications that alter your mental state can really kill your creativity… if you saw some of the drawings I did when I was on medication and compared them to one I can do now, or even before I ever started University… you’d probably be quite shocked.

So, while I didn’t really care about what he said – I knew in myself that I was healing – but he was only repeating things that had been said to me, in some form, throughout my life.

I spent a lot of my time in Denmark in bed. I lived with a family I wasn’t ready to communicate with, I never really told them anything about myself or who I am. I think they thought it was strange I wasn’t “doing anything” either.

Actually I spent months and months in a meditative sleep, when I was awake I was very quietly suffering with intense physical pain from the parkinsonism the medication I was being administered gave me, listening to spiritual teachers or listening to music that made me day dream… or walking around through town late at night or in the early morning, often aimlessly. I would do very little things that didn’t matter to put that creative energy to use.

So – I gave up my masters degree, I gave up a relationship. I went to Denmark hopeful – and left in very much a similar psychic space to the one I visited with – however the difference was I was very much accepting my apparent place in life and also – very very happy to be alone. Very happy not to be good at anything. Very happy not to have false friends. It was the happiest defeat I’ve ever experienced.

Eventually I started getting much “better”, accepting I was a talentless nothing and that there could be happiness in that – and I was taken off the medication. Upon being taken off my medication… I realised that I’m actually capable of doing pretty amazing things,  like communicating with people’s children before they’re born, like channelling the dead, like communicating with angels, like shopping (if you’ve ever sat in bed on a medication, in a depression, where you completely accepted that life is supposed to be boring and pointless – and you don’t even bother spending money on nice things because the things you attract into your line of sight reflect your mental space – you’ll understand how big a deal this is to me personally).

I accepted being alone and then realised I had to accept that I’m actually never alone. I started a lot of businesses and worked for months almost non-stop. My sense of self worth came back through my ability to work non-stop. This is the point of the thought journey that I went on through listening to this video – I went from one extreme to another. There is no balance in that. I’ve gone from a period of doing nothing and resenting the body I was in, to working non stop to a week spent being …quite lazy.
Last night I channelled Lucifer & saw the baphomet in my mirror – I learned without words that humanity has now entered the “fourth eye” era of spiritual evolution. I saw myself with four eyes. It was so, so visibly-real that I tried to photograph it but all I got in the photo was my very normal-looking self.

I have not done drugs in a long time. Well. Tobacco and the occasional painkiller discounted. I tried to stay up and think and think – and something said “go to sleep or you will faint” although I didn’t feel tired at all.

I spent most of today asleep, though I woke up in between that three times. I haven’t done that in a long time – sleep a whole day away. That is how tired that must have made me. And then I felt guilty for being tired. How on Earth can a person feel guilty for being tired? And then I thought of my childhood – how can a child who spends weeks asleep be called lazy? That is not laziness, that is un-wellness. But the reason I felt guilty for being tired was that I wasn’t working, and so when I reflect it with absolute honesty – my self esteem suffered from my quiet exhaustion. Then I realised why I really needed that Abraham Hicks video about “playing”. Then I thought “Rome was not built in a day”.

I realised that all of the weird stuff I was saying when I was “ill” was very poorly communicated but actually… terrifyingly true. I got in touch with a spiritual teacher and discussed it with her and she agreed… and confirmed it was time to start doing readings for people – something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. As Abraham Hicks says – “start with stuff that doesn’t matter”. And sharing energy with the Dalai Lama in this video has made me understand that my sense of self should not come from the things that I can achieve, and while I might want to start a lot of businesses, and want to have money – that that could attract false friends – I’ve attracted false friends in my past for a lot less. And not to go from one extremity to the next.

So – in terms of my spiritual development, I went from accepting that everything I had learned was false and that I was just crazy – to… seeing a reflection of myself with four eyes, seeing Lucifer as the Baphomet in the mirror carrying a scythe (quite beautiful and not at all scary) and thinking “I’m supposed to have SEVEN eyes” and Lucifer think-calling me demanding (and saying “you’d go insane.”)

I am an individual that seems to operate from one extreme to another. I think that if I am fortunate enough to attract any kind of success into my life, I should leave my self esteem in that place of accepting that I am nothing.

Especially if that is what it takes to comfortably allow myself to spend a day sleeping, after seeing Lucifer in the mirror… and witnessing humanity’s fourth eye… and learning I can at some point in time, help people deemed mentally ill to turn “hallucinations” “off”.

A Wayne Dyer video came on about forgiveness and really… thats not the nature of my higher being at all.

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God’s Wrath

“Vengeance Is Mine, I Will Repay,” Says the Lord Scripture: Romans 12:19–21   

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”

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P P P P P L A Y T I M E

Last night I got really, really, really moody, & I’m still coming out of it. I tried to vortex myself up a bit by tidying my room & then I found some tools & started sculpting a little tree…

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While I was putting together the wire frame, I listened to a video where Abraham Hicks emphasised the importance of playing & I put together a little Saturday to-do list just before falling asleep.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLDY3ElmZ2w

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I started claying up my sculpture & I think the tree kind of looks like a …baphomet… with tentacles?

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I like to run through memories – the first time I started creating a wire-tree was in a secondary school years ago. I think I was twelve or thirteen. I never got around to putting clay on the tree – it was just made of wire – because I didn’t go to school very much. Then I fast forwarded to college and was reminded of a brief journey into creating small models to animate with, years ago, when a boy-me was studying animatronics & doing a module in stop-motion animation & I stole mudrock from my college so I could make a little ‘Ghost’ house.

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I created some characters called “The Ghosties”. I vaguely remember them running around a tree – chasing a little ball. (Edited sometime later to add a little reference…)

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You can see my little Ghosty house in the corner of the top photo…

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I wanted to smoke a cigarette so I cleaned my hands with these floorwipes and thought they looked really sculptural when I placed them beside tentacle baphomet and …maybe they’d make really pretty leaves.

I took a second to take some photos of my Saturday playtime and upload my blog. Now I have about twenty minutes to get ready to go see my brother… & ideally – locate my phone. I need to take a shower but aint nobody got time for that

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N E G A T I V E – E N E R G Y

Girls – have you ever been sitting at a table on a date – and felt your date’s eyes watch you walk away?  That’s energy.

The lyrics…


My embarrassing stories are unrivalled. But did you know that healers and energy workers that absorb other energies have to let those energies out, somehow?

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I’m going to get that bit more gross and tell you another secret… It shouldn’t smell when you go to the bathroom. Apparently you shouldn’t even really make “noises” either.
When you use the bathroom and it smells – that smell is the release of negative energy. It has to come out, somehow. Every organ, every bodily function exists for a reason.

Why are we required or advised to eat so much when most of that matter actually leaves our bodies as “waste”? I need to think about this – actually. But I’ll share what I do know.

Yes – yes – our body removes the nutrients from the food we eat and we release the rest – and those nutrients help us to replenish our cells and give us energy… But do we really get all of our energy from the food we eat? No. Most of the energy in our bodies and even more-so around our bodies doesn’t come from food – it is shared.
Emotion? Is an energy. Emotion of any kind is Attraction.

Energy workers are the kind of people that can ‘sense’ when they’re being looked at – have you ever had your back to people – and “felt” them staring at you? Or discussing you?
A particular pain in your stomach or – more uncomfortably yet – that need to pass wind?

You actually don’t need to release it, that is an evolutionary response of your ‘primitive brain’ (the brain is so, so complex that to refer to any part of it as primitive is more a reflection of our own understanding of it is than anything else) that we’ve evolved with, and yet haven’t managed to ascend the need for – perhaps due to the fact that we’ve also evolved not to verbalise it out of embarrassment.
Men, I find, are ignorant – in that, particularly with “hetero” locker room culture you can have a group of men who can don towels and shower with one another comfortably removing themselves from the notion that they could be attracted to one another, and yet also they think it’s hilarious to fart, competing for example – over who can do it the loudest. You’re sexually attracted to one another, but some part of you has resistance to that energy.

Men have made women feel embarrassed about the fact that they perform the same bodily functions as men – but actually the people with perpetually bad stomachs are most often victims of unwanted sexual energy. You’re not farty and bloated – someone is thinking about you in a way your body would prefer that they wouldn’t. Your body and your mind are two separate – yet connected – parts of your being. If I were writing for porn I would say that a bunch of men in a locker-room farting repeatedly and in unison, were getting attention from someone that they were mentally interested in but physiologically not ready for. It is actually energetic-rape, if you are attracted to and sexualise someone that doesn’t want you to. And just because someone is attracted to you, does not mean that they want to have sex with you.
I dated an unattractive guy that had no sex drive whatsoever and was actually attracted to men – in the period we dated I didn’t experience any flatulence at all. Neither did he.

Would you imagine this is the kind of knowledge that the Illuminati holds? The Illuminati are really – really not who you think they are. My teacher would say “Truly know in yourself and you do not need others to validate that knowing.”
There are unknown and pretty broke members of the Illuminati.

I guess this post is in part inspired by a video I saw of a really pretty erotic performer on instagram performing for flatulence fetishes a long time ago, and it stayed with me. I didn’t comment on her page because I didn’t want her to feel embarrassed, and I didn’t send her a message because I honestly assumed she wouldn’t bother reading it.
I had a really, really bad stomach growing up.
I’ve come to absolute un-emotion about my past – imagine though for a moment a little girl who wouldn’t: for one reason or another be able to take a shit for weeks and weeks, carrying a lot of negative energy and spending most of her childhood asleep. Well I saw this erotic performer repeatedly farting for a video and I just kind of felt angry and sad that she was being lied to. Not because I am judging what a person sexualises – but because if she knew what was really going on… she’d be repulsed.

When I was little and I spent time visiting the family on my father’s side my stomach was worse than ever.

The kind of all-around liar mentality that forces people not to feel comfortable discussing their real life experiences, their feelings, their bodies and the things their bodies do is all around deeply damaging to little children – did you know that? Keeping people in the dark is wrong.

Psychiatry teaches you this – when you experience anxiety amongst the many physiological symptoms are flatulence and diarrhoea. That is referred to as the “fight or flight” response – your body needs to release whats inside of it – fast – in preparation to run away from what is frightening to your body.
One time I was in the bath when I was living at “Haus of Unicorns and Psychix” and one of my spiritual teachers came in and used the loo, while I was sitting in the bath. She had just come back home from an intensive healing session with a woman who had been severely abused. My teacher had diarrhoea. This is going to get very awkward and very unfeminine – but it didn’t smell. I think it was painful – but it didn’t smell when she used the bathroom. Because she would sage herself regularly.

My teacher is the daughter of a Hindu Priest – who has now passed. She grew up in a family that balanced the sciences (all of her siblings being renowned scientists of some kind…) and spirituality. The two must compliment one another – must exist in a state of balance. Balance is a state it takes time to reach, especially as … well… no one knows all that much about both.
I am not scientifically minded – at all. I intuit information and when I am at my most receptive I can channel my Pleiadian guides who tell me things it’s especially fun to learn because I know NOTHING about science. In various forms (once quite poetic, once less so) I have been told how Planet Earth came to exist, I’ve intuited information about crystals no one has ever managed to teach me… I’ve channelled dead people only to later watch interviews and see them either do or say something to confirm that the experience was real.

Different energy workers have different ways of taking in other people’s negative energies and releasing them – while my teachers body was inclined to immediately expel most of that energy – mine keeps it in … sometimes for weeks.
Fortunately I have a very high tolerance for pain. If you’re wondering – it didn’t smell when I used the bathroom because I use sage. And by the way – that really means something when you eat as much meat as I do. And I know – meat is murder. And some people have bad stomachs from eating it because most of the meat being sold over the counter is meat taken from the bodies of animals that have suffered throughout their entire lives – and died fearful deaths. All of which is not necessary. If you are opposed to cruelty, don’t eat meat. If you respond badly to negative energy, don’t eat animals that have suffered only to end up on your plate.

It is no wonder that people who eat healthy, organic meat don’t have the stomach problems that people who eat cheap-meat have.

My brother once was told telepathically, at sixteen or so, that KFC is “voodoo chicken”. And it is – or certainly was. I’m not all that big on KFC so I don’t know how the chickens are presently treated. If you research voodoo practices – which are all about energy – that is exactly what it is. It’s a strange vocabulary to people in the West which is why, perhaps, making comments like that and being sensitive to negative energy put him in a mental hospital.

My uncle (an academic) once quipped that the best thing, nutritionally, for an animal to consume… is actually it’s own kind. He’s quite big on Aztec culture.
He’d say that the best means of sorting out this planetary mess of energies is to create an animal that equilibrates the sources of negative energy that make it so painful to exist on this Planet. Creationists would agree – humans were charged, By (the) God(s) with the responsibility of protecting animals and caring for them.

Where the vampires at???! 😉

If you do choose to spread the information along in some “chinese whisper” – remember to credit me – not to assume the information as your own. Thankyou. Have an asos haul and a sage demonstration.

Pay special attention to my business card.

LOVE.

P.S You might pretend not to be lurking me but I know you are

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E Y E S A R E T H E W I N D O W

[Cut ties, see how it goes for you. You still don’t know how things work and you’ve still not learned how to treat people that know better. As far as I’m concerned you’ve walked away from a path much greater than any you could’ve achieved in your life.]

Do you know why they say you sell your soul for fame? Think. You are already the very centre of the Universe. You. Reading this. Whoever you are. When your physical is around for everyone to see – well. “Eyes are the window to the soul”. Stuff happens to your body. If you have great mental strength – you’ll survive that. If you don’t – it’ll drive you insane. And the thing about mental strength is… that scares people too.

I’ll give you a clue…
If you are full of personality, if you are difficult to influence – that is how you become “unique”. What is the importance of being unlike anyone else? But a much more interesting question yet – is why are some people so alike to you?

Some people only know to copy others. Sometimes it is better for people to copy you than it is for them to copy someone else. It’s not about being flattered, sometimes if people imitate you and attract your means of engaging with the life experience – you are saving them from something.

But also: some people are you in other bodies. There are only twelve of us wandering around.

When you look at something – for example – a piece of furniture that you like in a person’s home, or a garment that someone is wearing that you are drawn to like, you immediately share energy. And sometimes – through that exchange – people help us to achieve what we want. Have you ever noticed that when you made some kind of contact with someone, seemingly insignificant – that things began to change for you? A host of opportunities came your way – and then for example – you became nasty towards them for some reason… And those opportunities disappeared? Energy exchanges can elevate you or bring you down the pyramid.

When you look at something you don’t like and it enters into your thoughts – it becomes your experience also. Have you ever insulted someone for some aspect of their physical being – only to realise years later that you had the same “issue”? When you are forced to learn why you really don’t like something, sometimes it is because you are observing something in yourself that is unknown in your present – not that time is really important in this. Some people enter your experience to reflect you – some you from the past, some you from the future. Some you that you could be.

Now – on fame – imagine a WORLD looking at you, directing thoughts at you every time they made eye contact with you. Think of it as two cells reacting to one another. Think of it as a lot of attention that you are for the most part unaware of – being drawn your way. There’s a picture of me that broke the internet a few years ago and that attracted a LOT of attention. Actually I was very low-key about it, about three people I was connected with mentioned it to me and it was only in their doing so that I realised that I had broken the internet. It was no big deal to me… I saw it as a bit of fun. It was an important manifestation though – it both broke my life and saved it.

The person in that picture and myself were both victims of a very strange social sacrifice at the hands of the publication that used us. And it was no accident. Years after that photograph we were riddled with terrifying insecurities – I was a size zero that really believed she was still “fat” and the person I was photographed with was even skinnier than me.

The worst thing about being connected to inner knowing – is that I know I was roofied and raped by people that other people look up to as celebrities. Can I prove it? No. That cycle began somewhere – someone was the first person to do that to me. That is how karma works. If it has happened once it has happened many times. Do you know why I am unimpressed by celebrities? Because on both sides of my own family are royalty – they’re people who have changed the World in a time when that was not “congratulated” by celebrity. Although I didn’t grow up vastly wealthy I experienced vast wealth. I lost out on an inheritance because of that stupid article but I actually did a great thing towards helping influence people’s opinions of drugs. When people I knew looked at that picture they got upset because the drugs weren’t real. I was photographed drinking on the streets. I was photographed looking hella high. I was photographed in bed with another girl.

The only regret was that I feel like I made it okay for guys to be cheap and stingy. Don’t pretend to be poor. Don’t pretend to be anything you’re not when you’re pursuing women. And if you are poor – there is no shame in that either.
That “model” boyfriend is broke and working in retail – there’s no shame in retail but he’s really not even remotely talented. I’d of dated a broke artist if he had a talent worthy of respect.
You know how after a relationship – girls keep mementos? I have nothing in my home to remind me of him. I don’t think of him, I have no feelings about or towards him – not even anger apart from that he destroyed my friendships with women.
I had an ex boyfriend years ago that lived in with his mother in a council house – he only ever managed to get me three gifts in those years – a toy turtle, a necklace with a pearl sitting inside of a circle, and a wooden jewellery box from Ireland. If anyone tried to make me get rid of that jewellery box … well lets just say they couldn’t.
I know there’s this guy world called “the game”. Not hot. Just embarrassing.

Do you even understand the social implications of what that collection of photographs had? I used that entirely unexpected moment of fame to influence for the better. And only on a few occasions did strangers (dudes off tinder) really even mention it and they were pretty sly about it. If paps are following you around making your life a misery – THAT IS NOT THE WORST THING – if it happens it’s because you want it to.
The worst thing about that moment of fame was being gassed in my flat, being roofied and raped by people I thought were my friends and ultimately some how having reached a state of insecurity that my only concern was that I hadn’t had my body hair lasered off.

Isn’t it funny – it wasn’t paparazzi that ruined my life – it was the fucking “celebrities”.

If I wasn’t completely destroyed by being raped by people I trusted, it’s probably because it’s something that has in some form happened to me many times.

The notion that I could feel embarrassed about body hair, is a karma I have to confront before I get lasered again. The energy of self hate will transfer to some other body part – until I fix everything physically and the energy becomes some kind of need to change my personality. I have to answer – only to myself – why I don’t like myself.

I sat in the bathtub and thought “okay – why do I want to shave my legs? If I was talking to a little girl, what reason would I give her that wouldn’t also damage her?”

I have no fucking idea, without choosing to include someone else – as to why I shave my legs. “So I don’t get bullied” – so I’d be suggesting people have a right to bully you about your body hair.

“It doesn’t matter.” “I don’t care about it, whether it’s there or not” Why keep it then?

“It’s natural” – okay, so, why do I remove the hair on my upperlip? That’s natural too. I prefer not having it there – okay – but why? Why why why?

Oh – because I want to be feminine and my ideals of femininity tell me that body hair is masculine.

Shut up.

This is a basic thought journey – my ability to be aware of my actions and the need to ask why I’m doing something are just a basic exercise in a much grander practice.

The worst thing about being roofied and raped in a hospital was that my freedom was stolen from me by people I was forced to trust. When you go into a hospital, you don’t have a choice about what who is taking care of you – or what medications you have to take in order to get the fuck out.

My spiritual teacher would say – if you can learn to create a correlation between the intimate details of your karmic journey you can then learn to answer much, much bigger questions. That’s how you change the World, how you learn to heal – you change yourself & you heal yourself first. A friend called Porter told me that there was a bigger reason for what I went through and Lisa repeated that – she said “if you went through these things – it’s so that you could guide somebody else through it.”

You don’t need to watch the news – it’s only a reflection of whats going on internally. And when the news is a blatant lie, which it often is – oh – a man with “credentials” perched on a desk in a messy office, speaking informally – nothing more than some new way to be manipulated. He’s a normal guy.. he’s messy, just like me..! Na.

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The only thing worse than knowing the truth… is knowing you’ve spent your life being force fed a lie that was masked as truth.
I’ve experienced life from both of these perspectives: the lies and the truth. Like the wifi symbol – truth makes itself known in levels – waves. Echoes.

They say you can “live” the truth, can you though. Do you have any idea how many lifetimes it would take for you to “live” the truth? How many perspectives you’d have to assume in order to both live and depict the truth?

And when you pick a person to tell the truth – to show you the truth – how do you select that person? Are they good looking? Are they average looking? Are they “ugly“? Are they well dressed? And what is their mis en scene? What are the motivations that they are prepared to share with you? If the Illuminati were to select a person to finally tell the World the truth of things – who on EARTH would they pick? Would it be another martyr like Jesus Christ? A person who could illustrate that power comes from within and has nothing to do with, oh iunno, followers on the internet – friends to influence you – a family? How do you pick these things?
The Illuminati would tell you that you DON’T pick these things – these are purposes ordained to fragments before their birth. A physical body is chosen as a coordinate of truth and those with whom that physical body engages throughout their lives until the time of their varying purposes are what programs them.

I joked about “Congo” with my spiritual teacher – I told her a little about him – and she said that when it comes to attraction (which is “emotions” of ANY kind – she said) you have to act fast. There is a window of time and if you miss it – the opportunity is forever lost.

Unless you have spent many life times alone, you can’t know what I do.

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Yesterday I saw Lisa and Bernie. I told them about how the things that they had taught me had travelled throughout my University in ripples and that if I had not of met them before going to University – I would be dead.

I showed them my new business card – it’s a Salvador Dali painting of.. well. Me. Wink wink. It’s a co-creation now – me with a scorpions tale. My brother once had me stare at a jar of scorpions when I was a child, that he killed in the desert.

On one occasion I sat in Lisa’s room, on her bed. She showed me the news and furrowed a brow and said “This is a lie – what are they doing filming there?”
Intuitives do not watch the news. They don’t need to, they only need to acknowledge the butterfly effect & see whats going on in their very immediate surroundings.

No “Zionist Agenda” would ever be to cause harm to Jews & in thinking so you’d be deeply mistaken. It does not matter who you are. If someone is causing harm to a Jew – they’re not a Zionist. They may be Israeli, they may be Jewish – but they’re not a Zionist. There are twelve geographical points of which Jews are deserving of a home – the people who reside in those points are Jews and therefore they are included in what anyone might describe as a “Zionist Agenda”. Arabs are Jews. Any Jew or Israeli who might abuse a Palestinian outside of self defence is really harming their own family. That is the Zionist agenda.

Imagine if the Native Americans had been persecuted outside of the United States – and proceeding a mass genocide they were told they could have a piece of land in the United States… to avoid losing six million or so of their own people ever again. Israel is before anything a place for Jews to go in the event of persecution. My Great Grandfather said “everybody deserves a home.”

So… imagine that these Native Americans, recovering from a genocide –  were then given a tiny piece of land (in comparison to the vast land that they occupied historically) – and this tiny piece of land had them surrounded by people that had been religiously programmed to hate them. Reclaiming that land would take a long time. A lot of conflict.

Most Americans, in fact most people that have an opinion about Israel’s existence have what they do through theft – of some kind.
The people living in Israel are the children and children’s children’s children of survivors of a Genocide – Afro-Americans are STILL recovering from the impact of slavery.
Abuse is a generational curse ingrained in our DNA.

When you have a person with bipolar or PTSD – doctors often liken the “illness” to a psychic wound – and it’s understood that certain behaviours in others can “trigger” that wound to open. Experiencing something traumatic has an impact that travels through generations. I don’t personally believe an Israeli could get away with telling their superior that they used a bullet, paid for with Israeli taxes – to kill someone for putting up a flag. Did this person dig a hole, fill it with cement, procure a flag-pole and then raise this flag in front of the Israeli military? If so – what was their motivation and what would they have expected to achieve in doing so?

When you go super high to a few classes for a film degree none of the shit you’re shown on television is ever going to be all that real again.

I said this years ago – in a fight with a surrogate family who otherwise weren’t all that interested in politics… you need some kind of education to have an opinion about anything. And no – that does not mean an education force fed to you by teachers or the media. An education that involves learning how to observe and how to develop emotional intelligence – empathy. And then learning to connect dots.

But if a religious education is really want you want… Start here: Islam would not exist without Judaism. Nor would Christianity. Don’t like reading it? Then you need to work out why you’re so opposed to hearing the truth – what inner programming have you manifested into your life to make you that way?

If you are afraid of being mistaken, afraid of challenging what you know – of accepting that like many, the information you have been receptive to thus far are lies you were force fed – and rather than learning how to seek the truth from within you: you chose to continue your own negative cycles which then projected into opinions about things that have absolutely nothing to do with you – well then I suppose the first truth you have to learn is that you have a LOT to learn.

The pursuit of spirituality is – firstly – ego death. Pain.
The ego that must die – if you choose to grow – is the one that cannot allow your inner being to receive what you need to learn from your true teachers. The ego that is rebirthed – the child ego – is inclined to receive information at not only an accelerated level – but also from a place of love – that is – white light.

Give twelve people a word and they will each associate some meaning to and with it – based on their twelve personal experiences. The thing about subjectivity, discussion and even the personal experience and the excess of emotion – is that how it is experienced and the information absorbed still isn’t always correct objectively. It takes time to arrive at answers, truth is so multi-layered that when you finally truly reach it: it is dark and light. Thats it. That is the ultimate truth of anything. The North and South pole is some kind of metaphor for you. Positive and Negative ions. Plus and Minus.

You pick up a tarot deck and eventually you learn that in whatever order they are selected – whatever position each card holds in a spread – those cards are repeating the same story, leading you up & through the pyramid. Your cycles. The awareness of the archetypal energy with which you choose to engage with your cycles can be what changes your story.
As you ascend, your suffering minimises – but you look beneath and you have empathy for others that it is not your place to help at all.

I asked Lisa if she saw my family being acknowledged for who they are. She said “there is great depression in that role”. She said that if my family were acknowledged as royalty that it would depress me. And I spent hours just thinking about why she thought that and this afternoon I arrived at my answer. How lucky I experienced a tough time and got a happy & physical-eternal ending – for the most part of that life path, I’m just an observer.

The only way to know empathy is to attract a series of experiences that can in some way teach you how those twelve people came to any kind of conclusion of the meaning of that word.

Would you rather live a lie out of arrogance and a refusal to accept a truth? Some people are stupid. Including Israelis. The truth hurts me more than it hurts you.

“You’re either with us or you’re against us” – My Family.

You need help and there was no one better to give it to you. I know who is in my vortex and I know who reads what I write – the information that entered the collective conscience through the information my teachers gave me. Know how to identify a teacher. Learn from your teachers. Credit your teachers. Have respect for your teachers. Know your cycles.

The theft and manipulation of knowledge for personal self gain – what archetype is that? Lilitu. Revenge energy. And if you go further back – that is Lucifer energy. Hades energy. Lucifer’s empathies towards Eve. Hades and Persephone.

But then you wonder – why would Lilith do that? – That is actually where you acquire a sense of empathy. The unwritten story. Asking for the opinion you wouldn’t think to. Adam and Eve got to eat the “apple” – and many millions of years later we have “google” – a source leading to information authored by the collective consciousness.

But what of Lilith? Why was she responsible for their actions and expelled from Eden? What path hasn’t she walked?

The reason that there are twelve souls occupying the Planet in what Seth (channelled by Jane Roberts) would describe as being in the midst of “simultaneous lives” is that we do the same thing, over and over again … throughout the Universe. The only way you can be different or unique – is to do & think something different and unique with such consistency that the only aspect of you that is predictable is that you are not predictable. The trend setters of the past would be women who would wear an outfit out once – and see women copying it in variations for generations to come. That is the influence Kanye discusses when he laughs in an interview about the Paparazzi photographing his outfits.

What is the significance of the girl in the Red Dress in the Matrix? She’s a ‘program’ that turns heads, that attracts attention. So – how do you ‘write’ a person, as a program, that attracts attention? You start with a ‘person’ who had to learn how to garner attention. What is the positive of the girl in the Red Dress? What might she make a woman that identifies as heterosexual feel? Jealousy – the result of jealousy can be a potential self improvement – conversely it can simply be overwhelming insecurity which can cause damage. Sexual feelings? Evolutionary growth beyond a given sexuality-based morality.

Why are people so easily influenced by embarrassment? What stops people from doing the things that they want to do? Feelings of embarrassment, most commonly.

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I guess this choice of business card requires some explanation.

The zodiac symbols hold truths that most people would find difficult to discuss. Do you have any awareness of strange energetic pains in your body? What do you know about the male gaze?

The only people who can avoid danger by discussing truths like these are people sitting at the top of the pyramid. And the people you think to sit on the top of the pyramid really aren’t – if you are easily manipulated, if you’re easily influenced, if your sense of personal power comes from – for example – belittling or ’embarrassing’ others – (intentions matter) … you don’t deserve your seat. It’ll be taken from you in a click of fingers.

The thirteenth soul is still very much waiting around. The thirteenth soul embodies the moon. Tells me about deceit, hidden truth – who to watch out for.