NFG

#nofucksgiven

You know when you’re in a relationship and you ask the person you’re dating if they can get you sanitary towels from the shop? Or when you’re in a one night stand and you ask your closest female associate if they can get you the morning after pill from the local pharmacy and/or boots because you’re too embarrassed or you can’t move?

well yesterday I walked to the local shop and bought senekot and i didn’t even ask for a plastic bag to hide it in

i waltzed down the street with the most ineffective laxatives in hand, in a silk nightie, leopard print shorts and sparkle-motion jelly shoes. i opened the packet. i extracted the little blistered packet from the box and popped one of the tablets out. i put one in my mouth. i dry swallowed it. i contemplated if dry swallowing laxatives has the same effect on a person as dry swallowing pill form ecstacy tablets. (I’ve never dry swallowed either of those things, it just so happened to be the thought journey I decided to take on that painful saunter to the shop) I went home and waited for the tablet to work.

Still waiting.

Anyway.

i’m so0o0o glad i’m not a celebrity, like lady diana, and that there are no paparazzi living opposite me, like that investigative photographer slash journalist in that Saw movie

photographing me waxing my stomach

/back/moustache etc

actually i encourage that women don’t feel embarrassed about the fact that they have hair in those places so that wouldn’t be the worst thing. the way my body contorts when i do those things isn’t flattering.

femininity is a performance

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