KALIMAR

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Today I donned Kari’s Naked Dress intending only to visit the cornershoppe for my cigarettes. I don’t enjoy tobacco at the moment because they’ve changed the recipe.

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I'm going to provide an explanation - the stuff in THIS FONT - is
the "PHOTO CAPTION". If you attend art galleries or peruse through
art and/or even science books, you'll notice that images & illustrations
are often accompanied by little informative comments and details
explaining the image to give it some context.

Thinking of a photograph I tumblr'd once - a London Corner Shoppe
which was poignant to me as a person who mostly grew up in London
(before that I lived in Dubai) and who had seen cornershoppes in 
every part of London, and who through reading that caption realised
that they all look the same. And I thought it was quite a pretty
thing to read.

I asked the gentleman at the till to take a photograph of me and 
he got me in one shot. If you have ever heard Janice Dickinson
explain her modelling work she'd say "We get the final shot in the 
first ten" - which meant that the photographer would capture the
perfect image of her within the first ten shutter clicks. She is
model royalty. I used to want to be a photographer very much so
I watched shows like America's Next Top Model. In photographing I
learned that I am quite good at styling photoshoots and that somehow
lead towards me studying at the most highly esteemed fashion school
in the World. 

I remind myself of that photo of Trump and the
Arab Princes holding hands around a sacred orb on Leafy's 
twitter. 

How catholic-tacky-holy do I look paying for stuff? Cos honestly
that is my vibe.

 

“Kari’s naked dress” is a reference to Sex and the City – I think it is amongst the most famous of her episodes. Big takes her to a restaurant where guys go to not be seen and he pretends it’s his favourite place. It is not his favourite place Carrie. It’s okay, I have exclusively been the friend that “friends” – and cheating boyfriends – AND FAMILY – took out to places where they wouldn’t be seen. I preferred it that way and I still do now – and thats what I’d of told you to say if I were his mother. (Which is why no one meets Big’s mother I imagine)

Dear Kim Cattrall, I heard along the grapevine that is Wendy Williams – that you had a fall out with your co-stars. I know how it feels to fall out with people – especially younger friends – that you look out and that actually quite took your influence in their life for granted and I know how it feels to feel betrayed (women betray one another all the time and usually we don’t care or turn a blind eye but when we actually feel it – it’s terrible) through your most difficult and hardest times, but there are lots of women – amongst them myself – and men, actually – straight and gay – who dream of a SATC come back. I don’t have the stomach for watching sex scenes unless it’s you girls… and actually I think it’s a very important time for women to stop regressing to the 50’s. I am not asking you to be FRIENDS with them – I am begging that you ask your management to ensure that you are the highest paid cast member – and publicised for being so – and interviewed about it “well ofcourse, Samantha is the star of the show. They’re nothing without her.” ALL THE BETRAYED SAMANTHA’S NEED YOU TO DO IT – and to dedicate all that fury towards the angriest-Samantha that the World has ever seen, we actually haven’t seen her truly angry – apart from when Bailey okayed you for flypostering your cheating monster boyf – I swear on my life I think I heard an agreeable gunshot outside) (I also think that if they can manage to include within the script that there has been a fallout amongst the cast it would help a lot of women learn to apologise to other women – who deserve apologies – and how to fix friendships.) (YOU DON’T HAVE TO MEAN IT – PLEASE DON’T MEAN IT AT ALL – BUT IT WOULD HELP A LOT OF WOMEN. TRUST ME.) (I mean my “friends” were only ever “acting” as friends anyway and I’m sure most friendships between women who are in the same line of work would be the same)

I actually watched a Germaine Greer video earlier about women working and it was so important – we’ve only really been working for less than a century or so. That’s less than a hundred years for us to socially acclimate to the notion of gender equality in the work place. We are only just learning about our gender’s capacity towards competitiveness.

AND BOY, WAS THAT FUN FOR ME. (I often need to disclaim when I am being sarcastic. Actually I was fucked over by people who had no idea how liberated they were by having a friend like me and how much I contributed to their self esteem, and how my honesty saved them from embarrassing themselves, and how my inability to be embarrassed saved them from embarrassing themselves – and how when I defended someone, it was because when I defend someone other people shut the fuck up – I do not defend people to be popular or likeable. I am not a likeable person. I have no desire to be liked or to be popular.

I will tell you this in absolute honesty – I have only ever wanted a short, select group of friends that I could control freak into looking hot – so I could take photographs of them. And maybe make movies of them. That’s all I really wanted – that is my nastiest, darkest, shadow self. I didn’t want to get to know anyone, I didn’t want to talk about my fucked up life. I enjoyed being in love with strangers who kept their noses out of my business. I enjoyed knowing that I am capable of creating in-love bubbles for awkward and unusual people who wouldn’t otherwise get on with one another and who could laugh through pain.

I grew up with a brother who you’d pay to piss off and a sister that would do the nastiest shit behind your back and act like your very bestfriend minutes later. I grew up fighting all the time. I have never known truly “kind” people, I have known some of the meanest fuckers to walk the Planet. So I know what the word “kindness” really means and I know how to love the cruellest people around.

The thing about “taking damage” – gamer speak – is that when someone does something to you, you can do it back – whenever you want to. That is something that you learn as a child growing up with older siblings. If you asked me who I am really loyal to I’d say “my older brother” and it would make you hate him for it if you were attracted to me, but when you hurt people I like or love – I hurt you. If you insult something or someone that I like or love – I will probably turn on you.

I do not do forgiveness. I can do it – but I don’t. If all you’ve grown up with is abusive people, that is all you know how to attract and actually – when I’m treated with good manners and respect it really doesn’t matter to me, who you are – or what kind of person you are. So you might say “if your brother was abusive, why do you protect him?” and I’d reply with either “it is none of your business” or with “he is the only genuine person in the World to me, he is the only person that gets me – and more often than not – I’ve found that people who have known him have wished that they were him.”

I would actually die for my brother – which doesn’t mean much anymore – but I’d of died for him my entire life. When you realise what the British Royal family have done to my family (accept it, the awkwardness – accept that the lack of pretentiousness that people admired about my family is now accompanied by a “YOU? ROYALTY?” – yeeeah, SAME. THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT IT BUT THAT DOESN’T CHANGE IT. DOES IT.), doesn’t change what the police have done, what football culture has done to my family. It isn’t a game, we are owed an apology and compensation.

And I am deeply spiritual as you all know, and karma is real – as I’m sure you’re all becoming vastly aware – I’m sure we’re years off a quantifiable scientific formula for it.)

If you do not apologise to and compensate my family, there are people right down that butterfly chain that will be affected as we have been and who have not been raised to cope with what I was raised to cope with.

Don’t protect someone to be popular, learn about genuine intentions. If you want to protect someone, you better be sure that they won’t do to you what they did to the person attacking them.

I mean if you want to protect Lady Diana publicly, your life probably will suffer for it but that is genuine ‘patriotism’ and so is having good manners. ANYWAY.

These are Bloch tights. My mother was a ballerina. I was raised by a woman who went to a dance school where they caned you for not having a proper turn out. She doesn’t remember anything about it and that is probably because she died in one of her many surgeries and was replaced with an Elizabeth clone. You all want to be Illuminati, you better accept that it’s pretty fucking weird stuff that they didn’t teach you in secondary school or whatever level of education you completed.

And the celebrities that we’re being force fed are by coincidence people that never finished school – so that the royal family and governments can ensure they don’t amass too much power. It is significant that Oprah Winfrey and Kanye West were given doctorates but only if you speak Illuminati – which is “the truth”. It’s not “the evil eye”… which is an Arabic and Jewish appropriation referring to the DAMAGE a person is capable of doing when they experience JEALOUSY towards you – the Illuminati eye  ironically is a very different symbolic reference that represents SEEING the truth. The LIGHT. As far as the ILLUMINATI are concerned – there are TWELVE souls in this Universe (It’s in ancient Greek mysticism as well) that have been split up – lots and lots of and lots of times – and there are, I think, two bodies occupied by the thirteenth soul.

So, where movies are our form of engagement with Art – we are “twelve characters” living the same “twelve stories” over, and over and over and over. Because we keep doing the same thing. There HAD to be VAMPIRESssSSS because some people KEEP getting killed. And then we have ILLUMINATI KIDS who are observed from CONCEPTION and are used to investigate into stories of the past.

“ILLUMINOUS” “LIGHT” – UNCOVERING MYSTERY. (That’s why I strongly advise that people do not fetishise the Illuminati – or power. Unless your family actually have it. If your family have “money” – your family probably don’t have power but they probably have some kind of ‘economic’ power meaning that they get more money that they are sure not to spend properly, or else the money is taken away.)

My mother was a ballerina, I’ve no idea how good she was but I do know that she had two very strange injuries that incapacitated her. After meeting the “Queen of England”.

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and a leopard print pyjama shirt with a pair of nude tights from Bloch.

I don’t have the budget for such fantastic pairs of tights but theres an online sale and I advise this brand before any other. They’re made to be worn and not to tear or lose shape because they’re for dancers.

They sucked you in in all the right places before people knew that underwear could do that and – not that I am – I’m legit not actually –  I shower like Keith Flint back in his rockstar days (UNOFTEN – unless my shower is really pretty – it’s not right now) they are made to absorb a lot of moisture and it’s difficult to make them smelly.
Notice the marks from where they were sucking me in. FYI I’m iIIIiiinto women in tights – and the marks that clothes that fit too tightly leave. I know those marks make anorexic women want to have a sexy-little-pre-sex cry but thank GOD and Christ all fucking mighty that anorexia is out of fashion now.)

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FYI I’d like to think I am Big’s mother that he probably can’t introduce to anyone or invite to all of his weddings. Tell me that Mr Biggles isn’t one of my future sons.

Actually it makes sense that biggles would get jelly about the Jazz Man. By the way this is my favourite jazz song.

I once legitimately hit on a guy who had moments before – admitted to me that he was a fat child

(I asked him actually, as a pre-flirting joke – if he had been a fat child – psychics ask you the most fucked up questions by accident and he admitted that he had been obese)

with a “you only want what you can’t have” – genuinely expecting him to charmingly retort with a smug grin and a glance at his glass (to indicate COYNESS – NOT TO INDICATE THAT HE NEEDED TO ROOFIE PEOPLE – HOT PEOPLE DO NOT NEED TO ROOFIE PEOPLE. SOME DO, I’M SURE, BUT HOT PEOPLE DON’T NEED TO USE ROOFIES AND QUITE ENJOY WOMEN WHO PLAY THE “HARD TO GET” GAME. IT IS NOT A THREAT TO YOU OR YOUR WEIRD, SAD VIKING MASCULINITY.) “I can have whoever I want” – he was that attractive physically. He stormed out of a club and rode his little bicycleta home after I said that. I explained later over a guilty text message that he was so good looking I had expected him to understand the humour and that he ought to have said that, and he actually took it very seriously and later I realised he had date raped me. I should teach men how to date.

  1. If a guy that likes football invites you to his house for a drink – even if you have consensual sex it is likely that he has roofied you and that he and his housemates and/or friends will have sex with you while you’re asleep
  2. Danish men think women genuinely like to be raped. Maybe some of them think it is a really spiritual experience, I don’t know.

Anyway.

I fall in love with people like Samantha has sex with people (not you) – and I fantasise over the arts and domesticity and the perfect bento lunch box like Charlotte does (but I am WAY more kawaii) and I also have a lowkey admiration for bisexual, SINCERE, bald, Jewish guys – WITH DEGREES – with hilarious temper problems that I can bully about their lack of style and poor communication skills (there is little I can bullied about without laughing hysterically and that happens to be the thing that pisses Jewish men off the most), I guiltlessly overshare my personal life and obsess about myself at inappropriate times and prefer the idea of having a wardrobe full of my own handbags and shoes rather than sharing one with a husband, like Carrie and I think that I aspire to someday be a Miranda-esque cut-throat professional of somekind. Also they all sort of bully men in their own way and what a time to be alive to witness that in mainstream smoke – I mean mainstream media. Men have been bullying us for years.

went grocery shopping, had a look – both – in & around some of the local charity shoppes and visited the brick-a-brack. (Actually it isn’t a brick-a-brack; it’s a fantastic shoppe that sells pieces you really won’t find anywhere else.) I’d like to make a proper video about the shoppes here in a month, so Brighton has some time to learn to mind their manners. A woman oh so subtley said something knowing I would hear, like “the hospitals only over there” and guardian angel Lucifer (he’s in the bible so suck on my fattest one and if you try and have a child – look forward to SMEE of Peterpan fame – the Disney version) joked that they’d both be in hospital soon. Enjoy the forecast.

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(I imagine that biggles would say “like HELL are you my mother in those shoes, but thanks for taking back Vans”)

This song came on when I was snooping around in a charity shoppe. (poor biggles)

I had to avoid the Vintage Workshoppe today because I’d of spent ALL OF MY MONEY. If you live in Brighton it is your favourite shoppe that you did not know existed.

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I have Tiger-Lily feet in this photograph. I can dance like Tiger-Lily – IN PUBLIC – and make all the other girls wish they could dance like Tiger-Lily IN PUBLIC too but. If I’m not doing it you don’t have the guts. I know I should delete it from history because I am hunching a bit and I am not accentuating my curves the way that Betty Page would’ve expected all of her slutbaby-sittees to, but if you can’t comfortably do this – don’t pretend you can comfortably do otherwise.

(Remember, the upside down pyramid represents FEMALE energy. So these are men with male bodies and female energy – before we are physical forms we are energy, so.)

Also it’s worth noting – and this is the real reason why Big won’t have babies with Carrie – that in Peter Pan that it’s an OLDER woman carrying a baby on her back in a papoose. The Levis and the Bigs have ‘milf’ fetishes. It makes their lives really difficult.

Like women who are into men carrying babies and being maternal and shit,  Levis are into women carrying babies. This fucks some people up because it leads to conversations that they do not want to have or otherwise can’t have outloud. Trust me to tell you all.

So – some women and men go into “BABY VOICE” mode (I live in baby voice mode – remember though, that I spent most of my life asleep and alone. And that by the age of about. um. thirteen? Most human beings have left the house more than me at twenty nine and spoken to more people than me, at twenty nine.) and I know that I attract people who are into that – for whatever reasons – but also those people then get accused of being ‘pedophiles’ and all sorts of nasty stuff like that.

At some point we will need Madeleine McCann to come out of whatever Russian Hideyhole they’ve got her in to explain what a REAL pedophile is. Real Pedophiles have evolved, they have lots of pretty children – even though they’re very rarely in love with their partners – and get jobs where they’re entrusted with positions that let them into people’s homes – like becoming “police men” or “firemen” and they do all their pedophilia stuff within the safety of their police and firemen appointed blocks of residential flats while their wife prepares them a meal. They like to get their pretty kids to hang out with other pretty kids and watch them do all sorts of weird stuff – they occupy the bodies of those pretty kids and those kids end up with memories that keep them mortified late into life. Fortunately that doctor ass raping me with an enema while four nurses held me down gave me such severe ptsd that I have forgotten MOST of the stuff I did in those pedophile rings. It was so kind of my colleagues at University to have reminded me of those terrible stories that I had to consume drugs to forget, with the kind of nonchalance that has me until now wondering how they got into University/survived into adulthood at all.

See you think that I’m the only person that this can be done to, but actually if you were a Jewish man you’d have been taught to be grateful for not being born a woman because it can be done to ALL women. AND SOME MEN TOO.

I have no idea how the fuck Jesus Christ controlled his erections when he was posing for those paintings but men get them ALL THE FUCKING TIME. THEY CAN’T HELP IT. MAYBE A CHILD BRUSHED UP AGAINST HIS CROTCH. WHO THE FUCK KNOWS.

I don’t know about Big being portrayed as particularly spiritual but if you are spiritual you believe that your baby and it’s mother are sharing energy when they’re pregnant. That is a nice way of saying “they take turns occupying the mother’s body”. A lot of women don’t know about that and there aren’t many men who will be prepared to explain it the way I can.

I did go to a spiritual school that taught it’s students NOT to have sex unless they were specifically trying to get pregnant. Government schools do not teach you this because they encourage young people to fall in love and have sex – they sell on the fetuses that young girls get aborted and do plenty of weird stuff for the wealthy – who often aren’t in love and who often aren’t raising their own children because they know too much about the World to be able to fall in love. Then there’s the fact that – AND IT IS IN THE BIBLE – it takes THREE to fall in love AND have babies. Scientists will tell you that “falling in love” is a chemical imbalance in the brain – that is why people who are in love all the time seem completely drunk. Men and women who go around fucking everything in the absence of love are important – for a few reasons – women NEED slutty women because those women put men in their place. This is a good thing for social evolution and it is also a bad thing, because some men get led away from relationships where they could’ve genuinely loved a person (and having sex before you’ve hung out with someone for two weeks is not going to make him love you, nor will making him marry you/making him so jealous that he marries you to stop you cheating on him/fucking with his abandonment and mummy issues that I irresponsibly joked about in my early twenties and which women used to coerce men into relationships that have fucked them up so much and that they can’t leave LITERALLY because they’re too embarrassed for me to know that I – AND MY SPIRITUAL TEACHERS – MANY OF THEM MATURE WOMEN WHO WERE PROMISCUOUS IN THEIR YOUTHS – WAS RIGHT.)

I am anti BDSM. I think it’s grotesque. I think most people aren’t mature or intelligent enough to really acknowledge the affect it has on any living thing’s brain. The ONE – ONE argument I can honestly advocate for towards it’s benefit is : if you want a sex life, sometimes you have to do stuff that would keep your weird spiritual child – THAT YOU STOLE – out of your bedroom. By doing stuff that scares them. I don’t know.

Anyway. POOR LEVIS AND BIGS. Also if you were to research the archetypes in the Greek Pantheon you’d learn that we have a karmic history wherein daughters/sons/mothers/fathers fall in love with one another and it affects families. If i humped your leg as a child, I’m very sorry, I wasn’t in love with you and I probably wasn’t attracted to you – I was bored and I really didn’t think you knew I was doing it. Also I wouldn’t of associated it with sex because I didn’t know what sex was until I was at least eight? I did pretend to be stupid for a lot of my infancy because I learned that if you pretend to be stupid you can eavesdrop on conversations and the ‘adults’ will think you don’t know what they’re talking about. I grew up with a brother ten years my senior, who was a drug addict at fifteen and a LOT of his friends. I mean most of my memories are very isolated but I have a few cool ones and I held onto those like that guy in Cast Away holds onto Wilson. His friend.

I think at some point in my infancy I genuinely decided I wanted to sleep until I was an adult. And for the most part I actually did that. So take that as far as you want. I think that I love like a child does (and I think Carrie’s character and her friends – BAR SAMANTHA YOU GODDESS do too) (do you have any idea how much guts it takes to portray a woman with a man’s sexual appetite? probably not because that requires empathy and apparently most people don’t have that unless they’ve grown up experiencing serious, serious abuse.) thats quite nice for people like Big – and probably Levi (apparently his mother IS a prostitute but I’ve not seen any episodes with her in them yet and I’m KEEN to) who are professionals in psychotic industries, surrounded by sociopaths who get married for status and visit dominatrixes because thats the only thing that actually gives them an erection – and women who know too much to be genuine and really do only want you for your money.

And then that is how “the game” happened. The game is a thing that men do where they basically do the stuff every man they think you’ve loved has done to you – you know how you rudely watch my memories? Ladies? Men can do that to you. They tell you they can’t – but they can. And they do. Sometimes they make you think that you are sexually turned on by being abused but you’re not – if you read Germaine Greer’s “the Whole Woman” you’d learn that sexual energy comes from people with penises. So no – YOU’RE not turned on – HE IS. It’s SHARING energy. And sometimes you are sharing energy with men who aren’t even physically in the same room as you. But lets return to “The Game.”

Some men, for example footballers, are retarded. They have never been in love, mostly. They wouldn’t want to have become footballers if they had ever been in love. They play the game and that involves seeing how much they can get away with doing to a woman under the guise of ‘unconditional love’. This means they steal “personal jokes” from your first relationship, they create ‘levels’ through which they engage with women, if you were one of the lucky ones that got bought lots of gifts by ‘daddy’ then they’ll buy you lots of gifts (fucking HAHAHAHAHAA by the way) – a lot of men have been leaving their bodies since infancy to stalk women and watch them do stuff, going to the toilet, showering, bathing etc. So they aren’t very clever. If you want to know what books they’ve read, you have to find out which women they’ve been stalking.

So if you’re one of those women that had tingly feelings reading Dave Pelzer – that’s probably one of the men in your life, don’t worry. But they do later use that to fuck you over with and make you feel guilty about. They might’ve heard stuff about “twinflames” or read about BDSM – and guilt is a form of controlling another person. If you have never loved anyone, if you married the first person you slept with – they’re not your twinflame. Gamers will understand. Twinflames are your “final boss” in IN-LOVE relationships. They’re all of your life lessons condensed into one person.

People that play football left school at sixteen – and if they have learned too much about social hierarchies like the Illuminati, they try to dominate everyone that they know to climb a ladder it takes many, many, many familial generations to climb – TOGETHER -, even if it means stalking women and faking all of their in-love relationships by doing stuff their first boyfriends did

Now I’ll explain MY family. My sister is not an academic. She was good at GCSE level maths and manipulating men. Not as good as me, but good enough. The difference between us is that she grew up with Omi – who told her the truth about boyland.

I was not told the truth. I listened at Sunday School and I actually concentrated on watching my favourite shows – which taught me how to speak. Even if I could manipulate men, and perform an attraction – I wouldn’t – because it would be dishonest. She wanted to be a ‘lawyer’ when she grew up because my mother encouraged that aspiration, and I think that’s great. Whereas she could only get so far because even though she had a private education, and I mostly didn’t, she hadn’t paid any attention to spiritual laws. If you ignore spiritual laws – which are a bigger deal than the laws that make police feel im-pow-tant – you aren’t going to get very far with the Illuminati, thats for sure.

That is why people like Tupac are important – that is why people like Ville Valo – who sang about LOVE were important. That is why Disney films are important. That is why secret societies like O.T.O are important.

Your shadowself might want power but if the self you show to everyone isn’t as flawless as how the Catholics like to portray the Virgin Mary (who was a compulsive liar – and had to be – or she’d of been buried in a hole with her head sticking out and stoned to fucking death) – your shadow self is fucked. And we are constantly alternating between the two of those. And all the selves in between those.

My shadow self and my “light” self are quite aligned. My Shadow self loves the idea of power – because she can use her power to do “good” things. My lightself likes pot plants and enjoys watering them. My shadow self enjoys how much it pisses people off that I can take care of pot plants. My lightself likes to make food that is pretty so she can take a photograph of it and also because she likes food that tastes nice. My shadow self enjoys how much it pisses people off that no one has taught me to cook and that generally, my meals taste better than any of the food I’ve been served by chefs that weren’t working at my favourite junk food franchises. My lightself is actually much crueller, to other people, than my shadowself – my lightself will say out of honesty if she doesn’t like what you’re wearing. She’d feel like a liar if she didn’t and she’d feel terrible for it. My shadow self would tell you that you are beautiful as you are and would justify doing so using spiritual laws that teach that it is wrong to be superficial.

You cannot be Illuminati if you have not had a spiritual education. It will kill you.

Another thing: if you want to be Illuminati, you have to be good at something. And not just one thing – you have to be good at lots of things. The idea is that we evolve through learning. Not playing a game and competing with people. That is not evolution unless you are doing sports – football is not a sport because it is actually quite UNSPORTSMANLY. It is a game – but it is not a sport. Martial Arts are sometimes a sport, but that is only if you have learned about honour and respect. It combines philosophy and all sorts of humanitarian arts and sciences that footballers have no braincell capacities for.

My talent is communicating. I am so good at it they had to put me in a hospital and render me afraid of expressing myself. That is a very stupid thing to have done to someone that you believed was mute. And yes, I suppose I was. People certainly thought so. If you want to converse with me I have to feel safe in your company – that means I have to trust you. That means you have to be your vulnerable self. You can act fake and disingenuous around me if it gives you an upperhand, but I will do the same. And what I have to say will stick in your memory and what you have to say will be swiftly erased from mine. More often than not it is. The PTSD. Thats what happens.

So to that.. the shock that people get that I can write but that I won’t speak to them, and when I do sometimes try to write to people they occasionally won’t reply or get obnoxious about it and start playing a word game with me when actually a conversation with me has the capacity to take you out of that “game” you shat yourselves into – because I have social status – whether you OR I like it or not – and actually the truth is that my being a mute child was a result of feeling I was being lied to and that people were unable to communicate honestly.

I think at some point some of these men accessed information from the free masons – who WORSHIP WOMEN (and not in the way that people who practice BDSM “worship” women – as in they truly believe that women are divine) or spiritual schools – but never got an education that accompanied that information. Or 4chan. There’s a lot of weird stuff on 4chan. These men could not compete with me conversationally because I would embarrass them – we’d both know they were repeating things they’d learned from stalking my family, my teachers and myself or that they’d seen on TV. They’ve since learned that the media is endorsed by all sorts of financial entities (they’ve even been stupid enough to invest in a few – whereas they’d only previously done so to have their wives appear as celebrities in “Hello Magazine” or to arrange to have their wives insulted for having cellulite and stretchmarks two weeks after shitting out a baby that both of them ought to have known could not have been theirs) and that not a single one of their opinions is generally their own.

I would encourage you to read ALL OF DAN BROWN’S BOOKS. I learned a LOT from DAN BROWN’S BOOKS. YOU TOO MIGHT ALSO LEARN A LOT FROM DAN BROWN’S BOOKS.

We’re coming up to the worst bit, one sec. Imagine falling asleep at five or six and waking up very occasionally in between to go to school on days when you didn’t need to take a shit – and then going to University so you could finally do drugs and dance like your big brother did. And then realising at some point that everyone in life was competing over the most fucking ridiculous shit and that neither you nor they had even the vaguest understanding of how stupid it would be to compete with someone who had never had any motivation to do stuff when she realised she was never going to be a famous actor.

As in – you are this threatened by someone who has been mostly asleep since she was a child. And that the years she spent awake she was on drugs that supposedly make you “stupid”. I went to school once or twice a week, on good months, my entire life. Your sixteen years at school definitely beats my .. um. Maybe year or two attending school. And you are that rude to someone that has been a victim of a system that you think you have any business running, when actually you are perpetuating it into an oblivion that will – honestly – have you all wishing for your own deaths.

Obviously that is a very sardonic version of a life story but if you wanted the abridged version that would be it. I know you like the bits with abuse, you can read my entire blog for those. I am bored of those. I am bored of the idea of your girlfriends using Tor (i think an ex-crush of mine programmed that because he was embarrassed that I could see who was lurking my tumblr – literally thats why Tor exists. EMBARRASSING ISNT IT) or private browsers to read my blog or watch Zoella videos and that you actually use them to do so and the idea that you might do the sexual energy thing when I talk about how shit my life was, on my blog, is also. ugh. so. embarrassing.

But lets return to slutty women and slutty men and sex and the city.

Slutty men are also important – but not for any good reason, and particularly to the NHS – because they can be used to impregnate women who are only sleeping with them to get over the fact that that they’re in love with someone who prefers the town bicycleta (I LOVE THE TOWN BICYCLETA – IF SHE STAYS AWAY FROM MY BOYFRIEND/S SHE IS THE BEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD TO ME AND SHE’LL BE DAMNED TO FIND A BETTER WINGMAN TO ENABLE HER FEMINIST-FORWARD SLUTTINESS), to transmit STDs and STIs that get fertile women into clinics where they can do all sorts of tests on them and tell them all sorts of lies, and generally they are only tested for fertility (because every guy you meet is planned for you, in advance, particularly if you’ve attended a government school – but especially if you attended school with ME) and later arranged to have abortions. That’s right – every abortion that you – you and you have had was PLANNED. BY SOMEONE ELSE. SOMEONE YOU’VE PROBABLY NEVER MET AND WILL NEVER MEET.

If you think your ‘state school’ education was free, you’ve been lied to.

And that on this Planet if you mistreat a woman carrying a baby it probably renders you infertile for a LONG TIME.

Try watching Sex and the City from a man’s perspective – that everyone that any of those women dated or fucked was arranged for them. The one man that Samantha could have loved – as in a man who was as driven as her professionally and successful and attractive enough for her to introduce to her gaggle of babes – ended up cheating with a woman or many – probably many – by far beneath her in every respect and ruining her life. Which would have affected her career. I mean if we are talking Illuminati the narrative changes entirely.

I recall that an ex “friend” once commented (lets just say I was her sexy babysitter and that I should’ve been paid but I wasn’t. All I got was a crappy “benefit” lipstick that I would never have worn and a tacky cross necklace that again, I only wore once on the day it was gifted to me.) that the “charlotte” character has a miscarriage and that “carrie’s” character is so self obsessed that she makes it all about her.
It is ironic to me that she could have made such a comment, when she did so much worse to me in our friendship.
But where spirituality is concerned – why did she have that miscarriage? What men are they connected to – that could have been eaves dropping influenced that conversation?

I mean – you use what I’ve written here to explore your favourite stories. They’re all of our stories. I am really interested by history – why did Bloody Mary keep having miscarriages? I mean – obviously because the country hated being catholic – and why did people pretend that Elizabeth the first was going to marry any of the men she was being introduced to? Were she and her ladies in waiting being drugged at night and then raped? PROBABLY, YES.

SAD. Almost as sad as the World making my family – who have lived so humbly – responsible for something that has nothing to do with them – and through our being humble, have decided that they can COMPETE with our family. A world that would venerate someone like “The Queen of England” when we all know she had Lady Diana murdered, while she was pregnant. I mean how stupid are you all? The idea that you knew anything that I didn’t and you are STILL THIS STUPID is SHOCKING.

Back to the Peter Pan Video. Up there amongst the text.

Actually I’ve been thinking lately that it would be really cool if we had a sexy effeminate/raver/pop/electro/goth Native American popstar that was too good for white women and still lived with and probably toured with his aunts/mothers/sisters. We have never had one of those.

Because I haven’t got enough to do, I’m starting a blog about Brighton Streetwear. I really liked people’s outfits today but I think you need a link to redirect them to if you’re going to approach them to ask if you can photograph them. I’ll get onnit today. I updated my LookBook. I have had three views and I credit them all to myself. A’thankyou. (Maybe I am also Charlotte’s Jewish husband’s mother as well)

This song just came on YouTube and I think I’ll leave it here as a post finale.

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