You won’t be able to trust any online definitions of the term ‘sublimation’ – it’s transferring emotion into something useful. That is what sublimation is. So if you have feelings of what might be anger (it is very difficult to get me to be angry about anything these days because I am that desensitised to absolute abuse) you ‘focus’ that anger into making art or something along those lines. I cooked some stuff, to take nice photos of.
I was pissed off that someone ripped off my art – they didn’t even TRY to make it look like they hadn’t ripped me off – and they made money for it. A lot of money, going by how much these items sell for.
I was also pissed off that someone had made a three day PAID appointment with me and then cancelled without giving me any kind of notice. I mean if someone can’t clean a table properly/can’t tell the difference between parsley and basil, she shouldn’t be working in a restaurant without one of those ‘I’m new” badges or at least some kind of mention of the fact upon introduction. Or maybe she should just admit “I know nothing”.
I’ve noticed though – that (mostly the foreign ones but not exclusively) people really enjoy pretending to be “the manager” in Brighton – and when you ask “can I speak to the owner please?” they say “I’m the owner”.
I was front of house to a forty head capacity cafe over two floors and I had ONE tantrum throughout the entire period of working there.
A lady refused to have a full english tea (£15) because I didn’t bring her her jug of milk – she did HAVE a jug of milk, but it wasn’t the milk she had asked for. The cafe was FULL. I called her LAZY because I was outraged that they were trying to avoid paying, because I was protective of my boss whom I knew was struggling financially.
I had serious anorexia (I did think I was fat – but that wasn’t the reason I had anorexia, I had just stopped enjoying food to the point that I physically couldn’t eat it. And I was a size zero and my boyfriend at the time was enjoying how insecure I was. One of the first actual gifts he bought me was a pair of size 14 jeans – when I was a size 0.), I had severe anxiety because he was cheating on me, stealing all of my money and I had severe depression too. I also had a bowel condition I later learned was technically a disability but we discount that cos like, I’d never not had it.
And that ONE little tantrum lost me my job when I came in the next day with such bad period cramps that I had to go to the bathroom to vomit – (as in my period cramps were that serious at the time. I am lucky I had time to run home and have an episode of liquishits in private that day) and my then-employer thought I was “hung over”. Hilarious – the idea that I could afford to buy enough alcohol to get me drunk when I was being underpaid (as in – not even minimum wage) or that I had the energy to be going out. AS IN IT WAS PROBABLY PREMENSTRUAL TENSION. I was spending my money on weed cos I was living in serious pain and also food for my then boyfriend (I was eating about three/four chicken nuggets a night at the time), chicken + rice and vegetables for my chihuahua and also for stuff to do gardening with.
I am infuriated by incompetence and rudeness from people in service. If you are not well, do not go to work. If you don’t know what dishes you’re serving people, don’t pretend to be a manager.
Do not arrange for people to come in for three days to do a job and then not tell them that you changed your mind – especially if you changed your mind because you’re threatened that they’re hotter than you. I know thats why you don’t want me to work there. And I know you read my blog.
SO. FOOD. YAY.
I experimented using a vegan, Japanese alternative to gelatin. A multi layered jelly to accompany a meringue – coated in the oh so freudian double cream – but it looks like milk, not semen. The level of acting it requires to pretend you enjoy the taste of semen is supreme. Everyone enjoys milk.
(I OBVIOUSLY wasn’t breastfed and my mother and I despise of one another – but I do enjoy how it looks when women perform sexually while they’re breastfeeding. Which is the point. It’s the real reason as to why cave men didn’t run off. Promise.) (Yes – that IS a disgusting thing to say – but what else will make people realise that it’s DISGUSTING?) (The implication here – is just because it’s “natural” – doesn’t mean you should do it.
If you’re going to play the ‘it’s natural’ card… you’re comparing yourself to people that live like this.
Taking a shit in the woods is as natural as humanity can possibly get but does that mean you should do it, having evolved to the point of having TOILETS?) (You work it out.)
Breast feeding – sexualised -in Editorials/Advertising. If these kinds of things make you uncomfortable – you probably didn’t study art. Or psychology.
Source unknown, I typed in ‘breast feeding editorial’
The image above was shot by David Lachapelle.
Tori Amos breast feeding a baby piglet [source]
Teenagers and men are much more honest about the allure of female than women are. [source]
(The thing that women call ‘bonding’ when they’re breast feeding is actually sexual energy moving from family member to family member to family member.) (I am VEHEMENTLY against breast feeding. I mean – go ahead and use one of those degrading pumps, certainly have one lying around for emergencies – but keep your nipples the hell out of your child’s mouth) (So when I go ‘freudian’ – I AM MAKING A FUCKING JOKE.) (Freudians are the most embarrassing variety of psychiatrist amongst other psychiatrists – but it’s of crucial importance to let them realise – and then let them realise why, and on their own too.) (#karljung #feelingsarereal) (butyoucanveryrarelyseethem)
Here’s a story: I told a girl I was friends with to avoid getting knocked up by giving her boyfriend a blowjob before he had a chance to ejaculate. A lot of girls use that but it was mine. It could only come from someone who has an allergy to latex. Mwahaha.
Do you see all of those patterns I made with double cream in the jelly before it had a chance to set? Psychiatrists call that art Rorschach – it’s when they hold up inkblots and ask you “what do you see?”
Apparently the correct response is “I see ink blots?”
If you have poor eyesight like I do, you’d be very lucky to see ink blots and the psychiatrist would have to be sitting in an unprofessionally close proximity.
Baking with silicone hack – place the silicone mould ontop of a baking mit, so it’s easier to move it later. You read it here first. (Not many people are multitasking by cooking with an oven baked dessert at the same time as making jelly.)
I played around with the designs for the jelly but I didn’t use enough Agar. Next time I will have to use more.
I used Gordon Ramsay’s BBC version of Meringue (google summer berry meringue, I think) – this time I stuck to the recipe guidelines more closely but I keep adding too much lemon. I can’t help it – and actually the inside is fluffier than most meringues I’ve tried. I’m not especially fond of crunchy deserts. Though I later realised that this isn’t the kind of dessert one would want to eat in a restaurant unless they used a knife and fork, because it is quite stickyicky.
The jellies fell apart and looked like a fucking mess (but it added to the effect – and my recipe tasted gooood) but the second time around I know the mistakes to avoid. That’s probably why, when you study the sciences, you do experiments two or three times – at least – before the final.
I’m really enjoying all my subtle feminist essays lately. I wish I had an active audience of educated people who could dialogue about the arts and or feminism, and or exchange knowledge with me.
If there are conversations you are afraid to have – particularly about the female body – do NOT have kids. You’re not mature enough.
This is how I served them.