I spent most of my life in a humble home, I’ve relatives with private jets (though I think they’ve since sold them) whose holiday homes were mansions in the British country side – but that wasn’t the home I was raised in for the most part. I’ve seen barefooted little girls playing in cardboard boxes on the streets – one time a friend said to me “do you have a big house?” and I replied – yes. It was just my mother and I living in it. It’s a two floor, three bedroom house. There was a time my father owned a restaurant in, I think Chelsea? He could afford to keep my sibling in a flat also in Chelsea, having meals from his restaurant delivered to her – and my mother and I were living on £50 a week.

I don’t like it when people shame their parents, I don’t like the idea of teaching children to do that either – but I think it’s appropriate to call them out for their mistreatment. I didn’t run from my family, not that I didn’t want to – and sometimes I think if I had politely made alternative arrangements, asked to live with my Grandmother or one of my aunts – I’d of saved myself a lot of struggle. That said – the struggles that I have overcome, the lessons I’ve learned from living humbly – have made me strong, but most importantly they have made me grateful – able to (not only FIND – but) create beauty with little.

So I have learned to appreciate beauty in little interior moments. And you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve inspired in doing so, and I am hurt that they’ve never cared enough to reference or credit me as an inspiration – but that is something one learns when they study art. Perhaps the people I inspired never studied art. I hope that is an excuse within their sad arsenal. Earning money with someone else’s ideas is wrong, especially when that person is poorer than you are.

bathroom2

So, I’m something of a design enthusiast. This is the first room I’ve had a proper part in designing. It’s a work in progress and we kind of had to work with the shapes that were already there. I think that’s why I want to live in a squatty kind of building when I buy my first property – so I don’t feel any guilt or hesitation or restriction when it comes to redesigning. I know I like semi-circular arches above EVERYTHING.

When I was little, and we were going to decorate our home – I went to Designer’s Guild with my mother and one of my siblings. I wanted to purchase a navy-blue damask wallpaper, and they felt it was ‘too old’ for me. They selected instead – a blue snake print wallpaper and a pink bunny motif for my border. They also selected dinosaur door knobs. It was actually a huge disappointment for me, because I didn’t really like my room that much. I was such a brat growing up that if I was unhappy with something it affected every aspect of my life.

My adult self would say to my child self that she should have made more of a fuss – that no one has ever relied on either of those women for their ‘good’ taste. If you want an OCD dance teacher’s mind, my mother is amongst the best going – but you have to have the kind of personal strength not to crumble at the merest criticism. If you want to know whats in ‘fashion’ – my sibling might be able to direct you. That is – fashion is transient, it’s an in-the-right-now pursuit.

Style is something it takes years and an eye for detail to develop. That is my avenue. Whether it comes to dance, design, photography and film (I mean – people know when I’ve taken a photograph).

bathroom

I’ve got a bit of editing to do, then I think I’d like to make a bathroom tour while the light outside is still vibrant enough to film. I like using natural light. I’d like to talk in depth about every single item I’ve used to decorate my bathroom, including my Eulogia table from Urban Outfitters.

Eulogia and Ishtar are a reference to the Skull and Bones fraternity. How Alexander McQueen of me.

ishtar.jpg

This image was taken by @KnightofEulogia and found >> via google, << 
on >> Flickr. <<

Thanks bro. (The Skull and Bones are a naughty fraternity. Fraternities become naughty when they invite wealthy men who don’t understand the divine feminine at all and let them rise up the ranks before they’ve proven themselves. That is how we ended up with the Bush family.)

Rising up the ranks properly gives you more strength because you learn all the appropriate lessons. You should not pay your way to the top – EVER. And you should pick mentors that aren’t abusive, and with whom you can have an honest dialogue – because if shit happens to you and you have no one to talk to – or you’ve done something you NEED to apologise for – you’re entitled to no one’s mercy. That is – people above you will know what you’ve done and not say anything, and probably do the same to you later.

If you want to join that Fraternity I strongly advise you have a clean conscience, that you are nigh on impossible to humiliate or blackmail, that you’ve made your peace with anything terrible you might’ve done in your childhood (it begins with having the capacity for sincerity and honesty) and that you have no weird secrets. Be an open book, be your true self. Value people that are truly loyal to you – because if you lose that loyalty, you probably won’t find it again.

Go in as you mean to go through. If you want to be the best, it’s unlikely you’ll get far. If you believe you have the qualities of a leader, act like one from the start. If you don’t, its not likely you’ll get as far as you’d like to. I learned a lot from coexisting in 77. If you usurp someone who worked for their position above you with money, the same and worse will be done to you when someone with more money comes along.

I mean this is something you research through co-existing, I don’t know what kids could possibly want to join secret societies for unless they had somehow acquired divine knowledge and were driven by a motivation to share it with people that could keep secrets.

This is the annotation offered beneath the image on 
@KnightofEulogia's Flickr.

This shows the obvious link between the cult of Ishtar and the cult 
of Moloch (Owl).

Eulogia is a female goddess of Blessing that was concocted by the 
Skull and Bones in order to hide its roots which are found in a 
ancient babylonian goddess called Ishtar, High-Mother-Goddess. 
Like Inanna, she is the goddess of fertility, love and war. 
Her cult was the most important one in ancient Babylon. 
Ishtar, known under various names, was the most important Goddess of 
the Near-East and Western Asia. The word Eulogia which, in Greek, 
means "to be blessed." They believe this goddess ascended into heaven
 in 322 B.C. (a number that appears in their own logo) upon the death
of Greek orator Demonsthenes and subsequently descended from heaven 
in 1832, landing at Yale University. Also known as Assyrian goddess 
of sexuality, referred to in the Bible as "queen of heaven" 
(Jeremiah 7:18, 44:17, 25). However the name "Ishtar" does not 
actually appear in the Bible, but she does appear under her other 
titles (i.e. Ashteroth).

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