r a g e

I am inclined to research the army – as I come closer to a place in myself where I feel prepared to either direct my future ambitions towards enlisting. Or otherwise RADA.

The Army, bullying, PTSD, the implosive pathology of rage chemicals as Germaine Greer describes in this video I feel is well worth watching.

Above is a video uploaded by @TheMonthlyVideo who wrote:
"In her opening night keynote address at the Melbourne Writers 
Festival, Professor Germaine Greer delivers a stirring speech on the 
topic of rage." to summarise.

[ref]

leviathon-henryv

If you think it is a coincidence that nearly every friend I’ve ever made has had some connection to the police, for example, you are foolish.

Nearly every family member has had numerous encounters with the police for a variety of reasons (that admittedly don’t ‘connect’,) – nearly every friend of the past or family member has had many friends who have also had contact with the police – and many of whom have had wonderful people within their lives later been victim to bizarre events – which they felt were cause to further invite police investigation or influence or commentary.

If you truly think that the police do not pick and target individuals to stalk – then you and they are ignorant. It is discussed in every significant rapper’s work, every significant humanitarian’s work – some person whose reputation was somehow destroyed in some quiet anonymous effort to shut them up. Ghandi – after making contact with various police – was later found to be a woman beater, later imprisoned. I don’t debate that he did it, I don’t debate that he must’ve witnessed domestic violence and had a history of witnessing it in his childhood – but I do earnestly debate that it was him doing it.

My spiritual teacher Lisa – a woman that does not do drugs and who rarely has more to drink than a glass of wine or two on the weekends when she is not to later babysit once assisted in a police case regarding a murder, and one by one the men in her life were removed from her life. She is legally and otherwise beyond any kind of reproach – and has lived a life as such. She once used her intuition to assist the police in determining the details of a murder – she eventually realised that the police had done it.

When she first got to know me – she was trying to understand why I would want to share her abilities – and I said “to give people hope.” I said “why do you not help kids like Madeleine McCann?” after she explained that people have to be allowed to live out their karma – she’s of Hindu origins but ascribes solely to no single faith or religious practice – she believes that karma helps us to transcend and evolve. She said “She was sold into sexual slavery.”

Once you have not been properly served by the police, who have not gone to the very furthest extent of their civilian appointed – not royally appointed – not governmentally appointed – CIVILIAN funded and CIVILIAN appointed: given “authority” to make sure that you have been taught your rights, the laws that they are supposedly paid to uphold, and you have not been directed to someone that could in turn ensure that the proper consequences were met – for both the police you engaged with and the people who were somehow introduced into your life – you have a responsibility to dialogue about it publicly and to make sure that the police are held accountable before anyone else. You think it is a coincidence that criminals are ‘reoffenders’? You’re ignorant and foolish. Some of the weirdest childhood stuff that happened to me – took place in a block of flats that was occupied entirely by the police. They were given homes to live in – without rent. Their kids were technically sexually active. Germaine Greer writes in the Whole Woman that sexual energy is male. How subtle I have to be at this point in time is unbeknownst to me. Years later I was – by coincidence – beaten up by about 20 or so kids – male and female – who were my age. As in one of them stomped on my face as I sat on the floor and their friends all joined in hitting me, while I was on the floor. I left the situation with a headache – I’d closed my eyes and somehow while they were closed and I was aware I was being hit – I kind of observed what was happening from an outside perspective. My being beaten up occurred in the one part of Ealing Broadway that had no cameras. Apparently. Of course that was a lie.

I was in the midst of a breakup with a guy I’d been seeing for years, with whom I was completely in love – and who had also been targeted by and placed in jail by the police prior to our relationship. Weeks later, when I joined a school for the last two terms of my GCSEs – the only person that made any efforts to befriend me was the daughter of a creepy police man. She once told me without considering the gravitas of what was being shared – that her father used to abuse the computer archives for data about civilians, including to read the history of the people that she was ‘friends’ with.

Once you’ve been a victim of the police or otherwise been touched by them, or someone in your family, or someone amongst your friend group – you aren’t to be held entirely responsible for occasionally doing something thoughtless and stupid and selfish.

But if it’s something you do continuously – that stupid thing – it’s just a habit. There has to be a time when you realise that in life – your consistent self sabotage in situations that could really help you to make something great or better of you – something that could simply make you happy might actually be some aspect of yourself that you’ve not considered.

There is a correlation between the stupidity and utter thoughtlessness and a propensity for making excuse after excuse for self sabotage in men that I have or have had feelings for and their having had contact with the police. It is NOT normal to have a visit from the police, it is not normal to have to call the police.

And once you do, you find years later that weird things start happening to you – more reasons to call the police over etc. Strange occurrences at home, unreasonable disputes between family members, mishaps and bullying at work that you don’t deserve. Career opportunities lost – that you were more than worthy of, more than qualified for.

It really isn’t something to joke about – the police – and the army are above the police. I’m aware that there is bullying in the army, and I’ve never been more educated of the fact than I have been through listening to Germaine Greer’s conferences and discussions over the last two days. There is no form of bullying I haven’t experienced, no form of violence and systematic abuse worse than that which I experienced in my childhood and in psychiatric wards. I genuinely feel a sense of responsibility towards a truth that must be told, must be discovered. If I join the army – I will rise up the ranks fast – and if I join the Police later I will do so even faster. And I’ll be studying law too, at the same time.

And anyone who has EVER met me will tell you that I have a talent for being a manifestation of their very worst nightmare if they are not complicit with the little that I request.

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