Before one moves onto (oto – typo – leaving it there) their next life commitment, one weighs up one’s options. It is correct to do so from a place of absolute self love, confidence and an awareness of one’s weaknesses and one’s strengths.
My strength is – I learn fast and when I’m dedicated – I’m the best. At whatever I do.
My weakness is a lack of discipline. That I don’t have staying power. That I allow myself to be bullied by my inferiors, taken aback by whatever strengths I have chosen to admire of them.
The army for me – has it’s advantages. I will be given a proper rank with consideration for all of the skills I have to offer – more than I am even remotely aware of. For example – I overcame PTSD from a traumatic rape at three years old, with no dialogue, and also being humiliated for the fact by family who thought they were ‘trying to make me laugh’ because I ‘looked miserable’. I overcame various and numerous attempts at mind control, with great ease. I have some knowledge of how to treat serious injuries. I can survive in really harsh conditions. I can even forgive rapists. I cannot forgive stupidity, but I’m working on it.
I won’t go to RADA unless I get a scholarship, living expenses, expenses for materials and a private tutor. RADA is a lifelong dream.
My strength is that I understand Shakespeare, I understand archetypes, the religion I founded is a culmination of everything I’ve ever learned and every single one of my heroes has a respect for the performative arts instilled into them.
My weakness here is my poor memory and my distaste for mayhem scenes, improvisation and the potential for a good performance to be ruined by a terrible costume.
I wanted to add – initially something compelled me to title my own video with ‘Critiquing the Military with Levi’ – but actually, Levi would NEVER – fucking NEVER – allow me to film myself with a messy bun. In ballet, a dancer’s bun sits at the top of their head. A lopsided bun will give the ballet dancer poor balance. Have you ever done a proper ballet bun? A single uncomfortable and improperly placed hairpin can ruin an entire dance class. These are people’s bodies – if you get an injury in a dance class – you might never go to another.
Know your shit. ❤
Know that you are not me, you are not Blood, you are not Levi. A two minute discussion about your poor exercise habits and lack of core strength does not make you any of them. They’ve lived a life with me already. Going back in time – as you know it is possible to do – is – for them – pressing a reset button.
Jae – asking for anonymity – is getting it.
