I get you were trying to be a bit entertaining – and you were – but not for the reasons you assumed you would be
Significant proportion of it’s REVENUE – so who funds the research?? If it’s PROFITS paying for the research, I mean? In-house research… I think the address of this international conglomerate dedicated solely to researching ‘tobacco’ was situated in Dundee …?
This could only be funny to someone who has
a.) watched ‘The Devil Wears Prada’ – who really brought in the word ‘cerulean’ (The kind of people whose fashion knowledge comes from watching a show like #TDWP and the dumbed down stuff written in magazines like
Tatler Grazia. Not many people have the concentration for the level of writing in Vogue magazine. Conde Naste amirite) (Anna Wintour is competing with men in her family who own broadsheets. That means she has been doing it since infancy.) (You do not just wake up one day and say “I want to work in fashion’ – you are built up and trained for it and it begins with being surrounded by “scary” men who are attracted to equally “scary” women.)
And actually this music would be great to put on a loop while you read this blog entry. So you can gauge my mood while I wrote it
I dedicate this song to my ‘sister’ and her ‘friends’ who have spent years pretending not to lurk me on the internet, especially the anorexic ones that shouldn’t have children. I mean physiologically – you cannot have children if you have an eating disorder. Especially not one with my genes – WE EAT A LOT OF MEAT. One time this skinny girl was trying to get pregnant, even though she was the sort to mind control animals and use them to abuse one another etc – and I told her “EAT MEAT.” and she wouldn’t cos her boyfriend is vegan. I mean be vegan if you want to but don’t try and steal a child from me – it could kill you by accident. No anorexics please.
Especially the ones that emotionally abused me as a child/teenager – cos anyone else who abused me will tell you that they’re infertile. You had help. It’s okay – I can’t do the thing you guys can but I know people who can.
b.) paid attention to how I write – because people don’t really throw around the word ‘synonymous’ much unless they’re into the etymological dictionary (the kind of person who values metasynchronicity/the notion that things could be synonymous with one another that weren’t immediately all that synonymous
c.) ‘innovation and continuous improvement’ commitments
d.) paid attention to how I analyse colour
Actually just. Come back to it later. It will be funnier.
Let me tell you the significance of red and blue – to me
First of all
Since infancy I’ve been emotionally affected by light and colour. Years later a guy called Alex – one of those genius hacker types that owns his own server – that’s the kind of person I was attracted to as a teenager (he wasn’t interested in me and my mother was very, very aware of our friendship – his own parents were also aware of the friendship) taught me that this sensitivity – that is experienced by a lot of people in a lot of different ways – is called Synesthesia. HIS synesthesia made particular numbers/letters change into different colours. Spiritual parents (many of which produce children that are genetically superior to normal ones – many of which have more miscarriages in life than you can comprehend if you’re anorexic or dating someone who is anorexic) (unless you’re one of those genius anorexics that choose anorexia over having babies stolen from you – when you learn to love in a particular way, you don’t need to have sex or masturbate to conceive children) keep things like this secret because if people realise the value of being able to read letters in colours, everything becomes a code. People with abilities like mine are useful to the secret services etc – and it is valuable to have you think that we’re “FAKING IT” when we use words like ‘psychic’ to describe ourselves. It’s too late now, not worth hiding. Plus a lot of us can blow shit up if we go to sleep in a bad mood. So it’s best either to PAY us for our services or to LEAVE.US.ALONE.
I went to the countryside years ago though – and I watched a film called ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ and observed that in every shot, the colours red and blue had been used. And that it made me happy.
These are not colours anyone who studied marketing would use together, to sell something. Especially not to market ‘tobacco research’ – because the colour red actually signifies male fear. Have you ever seen how most men respond to period blood? (I am like, fully into period blood – sexually btw) (I am not into the kind of men that would verbalise something like that though)
I conceive on my period. As in thats the best time to get laid by me.
I am one of those people that got knocked up a lot in my teens because I was having unprotected sex. People who teach sex education use the fears associated with ‘unprotected sex’ as a form of reverse psychology. The truth is that if you have sex education in a government school – they WANT you to get pregnant young because they can sell your babies on.
I had to have unprotected sex – I am deathly allergic to latex inside my body. Funny to think about – I actually swell up significantly and it goes all elephant-manny down there if I have sex with condoms.
I’m also allergic to organic cotton – so I can’t use tampons without my body painfully rejecting them. I once told a girl that I used a tampon and that my body squeezed it out and she took it to mean I had a really loose vagina. Nope – never been the case. I have had really big stuff put into my vagina too – like one of those huge wine bottles – and it always goes back to it’s original size – even after a bunch of gang rapes, it’s still a good 3cm or so and it hurts to put one finger in. I’m into it tho dw
I know it’s bizarre to imagine – but I’ve been blogging for a long time. I know which words I’m personally responsible for people on the internet using.
I am struggling with the use of the word association here – there are a few meanings of the word. I feel like a company with the kind of financial backing that the tobacco industry necessarily has would … at least be able to afford a decent copywriter.
“mainstream smoke”, enough said
“immersed” and “engaged” – words I learned at University. Cos I am neither immersed nor engaged, ever. Even if I am present.
Scientists do not attend conferences to ‘share their work’. Scientists do not like discussing their work. Science is a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’. Scientists are more psychotic about their privacy and research and findings than Artists. And Artists are psychotic but they don’t benefit from you not knowing. Scientists do.
As a teenager that obsessed about being a pornstar, and who made no secret of the fact – as in I would spend hours obsessing not really about the pornstars on sites like suicidegirls and godsgirls etc – but the intimate details pertaining to, for example, layouts and graphic design choices. I was obsessed with Suicidegirls use of typefaces. Something that became an obsession when I was learning ‘handwriting’ in primary school. Like – I never forgot the word ‘ligatures’.
So in addition to obsessing about the graphic design of these sites, as that was really what I felt made the prospect so interesting (there were many pornsites, why was I attracted to these ones?) (THE GRAPHIC DESIGN. MARKETING. PACKAGING.) (I mean, if you need to keep the ‘why’ concise)
‘2257 compliant’ – this was something, hilariously enough, I kept reading. Every time I visited a porn site, I was obsessed with the wording of the 2257 ‘regulations’.
I was NOT masturbating or sexualising the female models on these sites. I was raised by someone who couldn’t have a chat about discharge – the first time I saw discharge in my underwear I thought there was something wrong with me. I told my mother that I had discharge in my underwear and she was pretty repulsed and we had no dialogue about it.
It was actually pretty great to see women who were comfortable with their bodies and who made me less insecure about mine. I once wrote to the owner of SuicideGirls to say thanks, cos I’d experienced a lot of sexually related trauma growing up and being able to see women discussing the female experience on the internet meant that I didn’t ever need to talk to psychiatrists about it. I mean I got to my late twenties quite unscathed by rape and sexual abuse – until some men started interfering with my memories and people were watching my memories (they told me they were – sort of) and actually rather triggering me. The kind of people who could watch childhood rape and be more inclined to insult how my mother liked to decorate her home.
Anyway – 17025 compliant – is funny because I was really fascinated by ‘legalese’ – those are words that the Suicidegirls lawyer put together for the bit on the site about the legalities of posing nude, in the United States.
Copy writers are fun, to me. Once I was asked “why do you want to be famous?” and my response was “power.” “What do you find attractive about having power?” and I replied
“I like having influence over others.”
My idea of a compliment is teaching people new words for example. When you are stalked secretly online, you (as in, I) plant seeds and look for ways to identify if someone has been stalking me. As in I don’t need you to tell me, when you chat to me or write I’ll immediately know. And I have good manners so I’ll pretend not to.
I mean – it wasn’t an intention – I was the kind of kid who liked to read dictionaries. I didn’t speak to anyone much and I liked to learn new words. I learned ‘psychosomatic’ from ‘The Prodigy’.
I used to design my own ‘porn sites’ for fun – (I would spend hours upon hours creating millions of layouts – and was totally inspired by SuicideGirls which was co-designed by a woman called Chloe Riot) and actually quite enjoyed crafting my own kind of lexis (collections of words). I was sort of babysat by these people and again – my mother knew. My older sister knew. Everyone I was either “friends” with, or related to – knew I was obsessed with these sites. They didn’t know why. They didn’t talk to me much.
They thought it was about the naked girls but it wasn’t.. well maybe like 2% about the naked girls. More so about their journals, more so about their feminist ideals, more so about their vibrant lives documented in photographs which later lead to the eruption of ‘instagram’. And these softcore porn sites had been so beautifully designed – at the time – that I had no reason to keep it a secret that I visited them. I wasn’t sexualising anyone, I was reading and reading and reading.
I had older guy friends that would come to my mother’s house and – obviously, sleep in another room – (I wasn’t allowed to have boys sleeping over til I was nineteen. Really.) but when they were dating suicidegirls etc I was SO proud of it and I thought it was the coolest thing in the World. I had to have older friends because I was too intelligent to have friends my own age. I mean, no one ever told me I was intelligent or maybe had any idea of the fact because I rather enjoyed pretending to be stupid.
If you saw the business being advertised on that site … wait i’ll show you
Also – the use of non-capitalisation. That is something that Annaliese brought in. Annaliese is a woman that was in mensa as a child. She was the kind of person who expressed herself using very brief and succinct statements online and that caught on like you wouldn’t believe. Everyone had a ‘style’ of writing – which was important at the time but not so much anymore – so it’s really sweet to see someone who paid so much attention to that phase of the internet that has now passed because human women are too boring now to be pornstars.
My idea of porn is… the image below is a good start.
I’m into – since forever –
Vampires (See Ref) (The hat is not okay, I’d be cruel to you for wearing it and thats why we don’t hang out)
Scary girls who are into strategy – based on myself – you see as a child I really enjoyed playing ‘Age of Empires’ – but more so ‘Age of Mythology’ – I liked to play these games because I enjoyed farming.
Scary girls with special abilities (I am not sexually attracted to her – I chose this image because it illustrates ‘vectors’ – non physical hands that can both go through and lift physical objects)
I’d be into her mother fyi
Lucy – perhaps a subtle reference to Lucifer – is the original milf