ey so i know you e-stalk me
obv

ok so – i married your dad, delilah
AND HE CANNOT DO BETTER THAN ME OKAY

if you’re nice and you try to split your big brother up I can set him up with an actual babe as opposed to that chubby barren milkmaid that can’t even apply fake tan right or wear wedding appropriate shoes

you can have all my under 25 year old boyfriends – on loan – if you abuse them or share them with your weird “friends” they’ll ditch you

no hair dressing shenanigans ok – men have long hair or no hair

some of them are pretty famous and zac efron who is over 25 says hi. if you have sex with him before 2 weeks is up and he hasnt said “marry me” it’s over.

[ref]

Have you ever played any of the Final Fantasy games? Why not sign upto twitch and have a go? the last nerd i picked can’t even do my voice right and i’m tired of her shit – so

put on a pair of cute pants, and a cute dress, some seamed stockings – say hi to everyone that comes into your room and treat them like your bestfriend. if you want to be the next big thing on the internet you’ll steal all my old ideas and you won’t insult yourself ever

your look is FLORAL and RENAISSANCE and i have a lot of clothes you’re gonna like that i didn’t wear much

if you speak to that bloated warthog again you’re not on my side and i am offended even if I don’t say so

don’t settle for less than two – or at the very least – jew

calm the fuck down

im never negging you unless you deserve it and they all fancy you way more than they fancy me

I know he’s married but it’s only to make u jelly.
he likes big butts and he cannot lie
also he is cheap so make your dad make him buy you stuff

also he fancies zac efron and wants to be in a FF7 movie

[ref]

Vibes ^