First of all – sincerest question ever – WHAT DOM USES THIS FONT? THIS IS A BORDERLINE PERSONALITY MEETS AUTISM MEETS ASPERGERS MEETS SOME FORM OF VACCINE-INDUCED-RETARDATION FONT.
- I am compelled to write something to express my embarrassment for the kind of unacceptably stupid person that could seriously like, non ironically write something like this but also
- I’m not DEGRADING you, domcoaching, I am correcting you.
BDSM is a psychological thing – and if you need to insult people to make them feel respected … YOU ARE NOT A DOM. YOU HAVE BAD MANNERS. YOU’RE A CHILD. YOU SHOULD NOT BE SEXUALISING THE HUMAN BODY – LITERALLY AT ALL – OR HAVING SEX. LITERALLY AT ALL.
If you have never made a dog submit to you – and I don’t mean one of those cute labrador types – I mean if you have never made a dog submit to you without youtube/a trainer etc – you are not a dom. You don’t have it in you. I did this to a dog with a real bite at about six/seven years old. I raise dogs that bite.
Most importantly: [if you think like this dom coach] [MANY MEN DO] [ESPECIALLY BRITISH MEN THAT HAVE APPEARED IN A MILITARY BARRACKS ON TELEVISION IN A ‘WAR ZONE’ YET ALSO CAN’T EVEN THROW A PUNCH – IF YOU’VE EVER DANCED YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING AT SOMEONE THAT CAN PUNCH] YOU ARE NOT A DOM. IF YOU ACTUALLY NEED TO CONTROL PEOPLE – YOU ARE NOT A DOM.
THATS NOT WHAT A DOM IS. THE IDEA IS A DOM DOESN’T NEED ANYONE. DOESN’T HAVE FEAR. EVEN AROUND BEINGS THAT CAN CAUSE THEM HARM.
Actually if you’re a dom, you’re attracting damaged people that need to hurt someone because they’re in that much pain. You ‘let’ them hurt you, ‘let’ them believe that their hurting you and your choosing to forgive them (and I haven’t mastered that – nor will I ever) – is some kind of indication of unconditional love.
I love my mother’s dogs unconditionally – but I lose interest when they bite me, even if it’s because I have to put my hands right in between them fighting. As in – my chihuahuas have really, really scary fights – they bite and draw blood. I’m the kind of person who can be bitten by something and accept that as the more intelligent one – it’s my responsibility to some how teach them not to do that again. That’s what a Dom is. And I then walk away – and our relationship is forever damaged.
Doms have “self respect” – and therefore along that vein – don’t chase after people or otherwise impinge on their autonomy over themselves.
If you think that ignoring a person’s rights – fundamental rights as a human being – is sexy – or that their allowing you to do that is sexy – YOU SHOULD NOT BE HAVING SEX. YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT SEXY IS. YOU’VE BEEN ABUSED AND IT’S YOUR WAY OF COPING. We have a right to freedom, as individuals. We have a right to live freely. We have a right to be our own person with our own vibrant lives and life stories and when we lose those, especially because of another person (whether they are upfront and honest about the fact or not) – the relationship will eventually collapse and be irreparable.
Because it would be wrong to do that to their life experience – to teach them that it is love to let someone hurt you or take away your fundamental human rights – because even if you ‘pull it off’ and you successfully garner yourselves some illusion of ownership over someone else – once you’re out of their life, AND YOU WILL BE – BECAUSE THAT SHIT IS TEMPORARY – they’re going to seek that same emotional relationship that they had with you… over and over and never ever find it.
If you’re really a dom.. you’ve a personality that can never be imitated. There is no one else like you – thats where your self esteem comes from. It should be, anyway.
Not that you look good in a suit. Anyone looks good in an expensive suit.
Did you design the suit yourself? That is more impressive than that you are capable of looking good in a suit.
TLDR A DOM OFFERS LEGITIMATELY UNFAILING SECURITY TO PEOPLE IN THEIR COMPANY, EVEN IN THE FACE OF SOME KIND OF SAD DANGER – WITHOUT ALSO BEING CREEPY. YOU OUGHT TO BE ASKED, ALSO. And if people follow you – under some illusion they’re protecting you …without having been asked… you are protecting them.
When you and someone else experience that you offer some kind of security to one another, mutually, it is no longer a BDSM relationship. You’re equals. Maybe not though.
But on ‘dom coaching’ – because the safety of others comes before your own – as a ‘dom’ – (that word cripples me, it is that cringe) that is how responsible you ought to be to identify as ‘dominant’ – if you cannot be trusted not to interfere with a person’s emotional wellbeing, especially without being ASKED – you absolutely cannot be trusted to hoist them into some kind of Araki-esque bondage fantasy that you probably wouldn’t even know how to enjoy without the person leaving the situation repressing absolute hysterical laughter. Or – worse – FEAR.
A guy wanted me to wear boots in bed with him – for example. No issue, would’ve been happy to. He was really going after some fake fantasy he must’ve seen in tacky porn. If you don’t know how to find intensity in the most ‘vanilla’ sex – you won’t find it elsewhere. It’ll be a sad performance.
Which will make you feel insecure sexually. I personally would never want to make someone feel insecure sexually – and wouldn’t unless they had done it to me first.
If insulting people is the stuff that makes up your sexual landscape and fantasies – you need to give yourself time and patience to emerge into physical and psychological (the important one) adulthood. It happens at different stages of life for everyone and you deserve the time. There will be sexy people to practice your sexual fantasies with through any walk of life if you’re really who you think you are.
Insulting people is far apart to TEASING people, light heartedly making fun of one another because you’re so comfortable with your flaws and theirs – because regardless of those flaws – you find each other attractive. Ideally.
Also: a dom – IS AS HOT IN A SUIT AS THEY ARE WITHOUT HAVING SHOWERED IN YEARS BECAUSE THEY KNOW THAT HOT IS A VIBE – AND A VIBE IS NOT A THING YOU MIND CONTROL PEOPLE TO THINK OR FEEL ABOUT YOU. The idea of doing something like that would probably make you feel really rather upset with yourself if you’re healthy – and the only time you should be engaging with BDSM is if you are COMPLETELY healthy.
BUT WHAT DO I KNOW. (A lot more than you can possibly imagine – actually.)
if a guy tells you he is
(a) a ‘dom’ and
(b) needs to put it in the HEADER AND URL of his own website to make it clear and
(c) uses words like ‘inner circle’ in an attempt to get you to sign up to his infrequent and exclusive emails
date him cos he is hilarious
fucking lol. you try it on first and i’ll decide if i like how it looks or not
(my first boyfriend would’ve done exactly that. He’d of tried it on, let me take a photo and found it hilarious if I showed people because he was way – way too intelligent for BDSM. He might’ve fantasised about girls in tacky latex outfits (some latex outfits are nice but really I think most people find latex-outfit-sex both awkward and embarrassing afterwards)
but yeah, we’d of laughed for hours and that kind of interaction is way hotter and more memorable and more intimate than BDSM)