oh maynard *gasps*

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  1. This entire paragraph is actually code for “I’m a vampire”

    an interview with Maynard in a publication that owes me an apology

2. When you own a publication that pretends to be forward thinking and generally future oriented, and you find out that one of your biggest fans (one of freedom of speech’s/whatever words we use to describe spirituality as a current and evolving means of explaining the planet’s biggest fans) is like one of the world’s biggest kept secrets and that they’re royalty to a country you hate (a country as obnoxious and easy to hate as your publication) surely you’d be motivated as some fantastic peace keeper and protector (alluding to your identity outside of owning a publication, if you have one) to be friendly towards them?
Vice isn’t known for it’s empathy but I mean, if I pictured you as children I’d say “How would you feel if a home that was always known to be yours, was taken from you – and then members of your family were gradually shot down wherever you went – and then finally all your abusers (the ones that watched you being abused – as opposed to the ones that pretended that “Genocide” was a huge lie you and your family liked to tell every few years) said “okay just take your old home cos this keeps happening and it’s getting awkward”…

Like … politically speaking what you did wasn’t very diplomatic or clever and further goes to show how incompetent men are at doing fucking anything right. Perhaps a woman owns Vice – I wouldn’t believe it at all unless I saw a portrait of her staring blankly into space.

3. Your interviewer asked Maynard all the wrong questions. This interview is a hint of every other Maynard interview throughout time.

Don’t bother chasing up the “celebrities” that I like, trying to be relevant. Do you know what I’ve been desperate to tell Maynard off for, for years? He once called Courtney Love a “media whore” and I wanted to tell him he’s a huge hypocrite, since I was fifteen. He complains about fame but I know he expected nothing less of himself.
A woman on SuicideGirls had him tattooed across her entire back and he said in an interview “she must’ve been drunk.”.
Annaliese has long since hidden my profile but I called myself “magdalene” on Godsgirls (AND I KNOW YOU TWO USED TO HANG OUT AND THAT YOU HAVE A HOT TUB, MAYNARD) BECAUSE OF “MAGDALENA”.

It was between calling myself “Kittie” and “Magdalene”. There were no other names that suited me.

Why didn’t you discuss the fact that his lyrics in Puscifer are all so spiritually inclined and yet they’re still pretty fucking violent and then his A.P.C album with all the war sound effeccts that came after his four years of military service?!

You (Vice) had your moment and if you hadn’t of treated me terribly, used my image without permission for articles I’d never of wanted to be associated with, if you hadn’t of invaded my privacy … it might’ve lasted for a lot longer.
Well. There’d be at least another ten years for your magazine, iunno

(I personally don’t think splitting up Vice and “noisey” was a very good idea)

4. Also I’m glad that my spiritual teacher Lisa, AND MAYNARD, and I managed to filter the word “INDIGO CHILDREN” into the mass consciousness. I know you wrote an article about Akiane when I was at University and I appreciated that.

I LIKE THIS ONE

5. Also google “Maynard James Keenan” and then google “iDubbbz” and then google “Bill Hicks” and then google “LeafyisHere”

And you’ll be able to see past/present/simultaneous lives anddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd you can’t even get away with talking about it because spiritual kids don’t bother trusting your magazine anymore.

http3a2f2fdailytheology-files-wordpress-com2f20132f032fjudas-jesus-and-mary-jc-superstar

Theres lots of jesuses and judases and mary magdaleneses all over the place but I’m the one that actually inherited her post-christ karma.

The Israel thing is really a massive spiritual truth that involves past lives and metasynchronicity and basically all the stuff you obsessed over …because of people like me…

 

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