When you think of someone, you share energy with them. Abraham Hicks would call this a co-creation. So many artists passed through my head, that it would be difficult to credit them all.
If I said to you “it felt like they were doing it for me” it would be closer to the truth than “I did this myself”. I didn’t draw from reference, I didn’t watch any youtube videos on how to paint digitally. I’d love to make a portfolio and put this in it but that would be dishonest.
When I was at University, I wanted to do something that involved the talents of the people I was living with – actually this was something I’ve tried to do my entire life. It’s how I bond with people – through discussing ideas and utilising our talents.
I remember watching “Chocolat” with some flatmates and deciding I wanted to make and sell chocolate – the nasty girl I was living with and I came up with some ideas. She ended up creating a collection of glass pieces that were intended to be the packaging for my chocolates and she never followed through with that – she came from Portugal and the main export is apparently “cork” (she was inspired to find that out after watching my memories – where my cousin and I discussed the main exports of Syria) – she had an exhibition for that work and I designed the poster. I wasn’t credited for that either.
A lot of people at that University did work that was inspired by me, inspired by conversations that I had at University – I did a lot of essays for people (which I undercharged for – when you consider how much a degree is worth in this country) and I managed to piss so many competitive people off – I spent my entire life obsessing over art. I watched movies, took photos, spent hours upon hours designing layouts for websites for the fun of it – I was never competitive at University because the kind of people I was aspiring to emulate were always professionals.
I had spent my life making art and being by myself – so when I got to Uni I just enjoyed the idea of having friends, even if they thought I was lazy and never really acknowledged or considered that I felt I’d already done the work and probably shouldn’t of been doing a “BA”. Anyway this isn’t my work – I might’ve done it physically but I was thinking of Trevor Brown and when I focussed on him, it got good. When weird people I don’t like very much started popping into my head it got less good.
The people that fucked me over and/or spend all their time thinking about me don’t make good art. If you’ve spent your life not-having-fun … you know how to have fun.
By the way – here’s a fun exercise. If you’re into make up. Think of someone who is GOOD at “make up” and paint half of your face. Think of someone who is GOOD at “painting” – and paint the other half.