I hate Rihanna and more than I hate Rihanna I hate hobbitdwarf.
My ex of four years is Rihanna’s twinflame. He’s not interested. I’m literally the ONLY person he’s ever trusted, or ever bothered really sticking up for. We’ve lived out our karma and taught each other everything we needed to.
Also he likes funny girls and neither of you are funny.
What’s funny to me, is that when I was at University he saw this fragment of his twin on Facebook and I’d written that she was “nice” – and he commented one photograph of her saying she was hot. Then later he commented in response to her being “nice” – “is she like the other “nice” girls you were hanging out with?” (Not nice at all.)
He is really comfortable being an asshole.
The thing that was hard for me after we broke up, was there was ONE person that knew me and I’d lost them. I’d been called “Kittie” for four years of my life and names carry vibrations. I lost that me and it didn’t have anything to do with him.
He’s not interested in people that’ve treated me badly. Like he’ll fuck literally anyone – but that’s about it. He’ll probably leave the second he’s done and feel guilty for it for the next few weeks, and then if you’re lucky he’ll send you a message thinking it was some problem with his thoughts and do it again and realise he was right the first time around.
Also for all the boyfriend training he’s had (me) (his psycho female relatives) (it’s a joke, no one on this planet needs “training” – he just has a sense of humour and would laugh reading this – not see it as some kind of weird threat to his masculinity.) (i am probably more masculine than he is and he would happily make fun of me for it)
He really is a complete man-whore and if I set him up with anyone, it would probably be bisexual supermodels (more than one – it has to be more than one) that are genuinely more interested in each other than they are in him. (He also has to have something to complain about and manipulate you about or he gets bored and when he gets bored he gets either stupid or mean.)
I’d set him up with the kind of people who could happily leave him alone without expecting a text or a call – thats the only time he’ll do either – when you’re rude enough not to be thinking about him. Also even if he says he’s in some kind of commitment with you, it’s really just a pleasantry as he has no idea of what the word means.
Thankfully we are all 12 souls existing on one Planet so if you struggle to like someone because of some series of terrible things they did to you, then pick someone else to replace that person.
Theres a mother I watch on YouTube who has two daughters that are fragments of people who have really hurt me and when I see her with her kids I see the childselves of those people who hurt me and I find forgiveness through that.
Remember that there are people carrying karma for the things you do – that aren’t you. Simultaneous lives. So when you ditch someone because you think they need to “learn to be alone” – try to consider some version of yourself that might get put through something similar. Try to consider whether you might be repeating childhood cycles that your parents put each other through. I mean, do what you have to do if it’s going to make you happy but really try and be aware of the deeper truths and try to do things differently
How good is this song? Listen again and again.
When I was at University, in my second year – I had a really tough summer and I got severe anxiety and had abandonment issues relating to money and feeling like I was giving more to the people around me than they had ever considered to give back to me. And it was never their job to give back to me, but whats kind of important here is that I felt these emotions and then I was fortunate enough to release them and then only literally now I realised that they passed on to him.
At one point he was getting these weird anxiety attacks – one time out of nowhere he rang up the housephone of the place I was living and drunkenly told me that he’d just had a night out and that he was struggling with the fact that he couldn’t trust anyone, he knew something was up and going on that wasn’t making sense. Every time he found a moments happiness there’d be some weird and terrible anxiety to make him miserable again. A psychiatrist told him he was suffering with borderline personality disorder and until recently he really believed it, it explained a lot – like how when we were together we’d have really nice moments and then he’d totally switch and distance himself. From my side it seemed like he was addicted to the emotional imbalance and make up sex or something (he joked about it a lot). Lisa met him and she could see the energy around each of us and she said “he balances your energies”.
And I think anyone who ever met me alone would’ve noticed that I was one “person” when I was around him and another when I wasn’t.
When he called me, like someone might call up a psychiatrist in the midst of some kind of weird episode – he immediately felt better because we made each other laugh. I think he was like “KIT I CANT FUCKING TRUST ANYONE” and I verbally eyerolled and asked him what he’d done.
When I was in Denmark I did an illustration and went to sleep. I woke up ridiculously early with an anxiety attack about the fact that I hadn’t drawn one of the legs properly and deleted the image. There’s a supermodel that once said that she wakes up in the middle of the night with unbearable anxiety about stupid shit. Those aren’t your thoughts. Yer a wizzard harry. If you wake up with anxiety attacks about your appearance or something else that doesn’t deserve the kind of panic a caveman felt moments before dying – literally think “SHUT THE FUCK UP I’M TRYING TO FUCKING SLEEP. THIS IS RUDE. THERE IS NOTHING WORSE THAN BEING RUDE.”
Also – at one point when I was in Denmark I went on a walk late at night so I could chat with him. We hadn’t properly spoken in about two years. At the time, he knew something I didn’t.
I told him that what I missed more than anything was knowing someone that could make me laugh the way he could. I told him about the guy I liked and I’d shown him pictures “he’s pretty”, he even said. Eventually I let go of that guy and moved onto another – and I told him how that “other” guy had reminded me of him. It was weird because I noticed he was trying to replicate the relationship I had with that ex – he said “have you never had one of those relationships where you just cuss one another out?” – I didn’t say it at the time but that kind of relationship takes YEARS. It took us a million arguments and spending more time apart than we did together.
Me and that guy that reminded me of my ex (“kinky artist”) had sex and it turned out that later the fragment of Rihanna (Pygmy hobbit with fertility issues) ended up pregnant. I found out when I met an old friend, we had a meal at a restaurant and he told me in passing… and I was actually a little bit livid about it. Be careful with people who both “love” and “unlove” easily. Some of them like to play stork – and you could be none the wiser.
I’m glad we exist in a time where Religion and the pursuit of spiritual health come before anything – listen to this – Seth Speaks says that we are ALL connected telepathically. I wish my teacher Lisa would do classes of some kind publicly because I feel she has knowledge that needs to be filtered into the mass consciousness. She’s a bit like my uncle Carlos… he refuses to teach anyone that isn’t studying for a PhD. Except she’s like that about people’s motivations rather than what they can show for their lives.
I feel like it’s important that people become accustomed to people being occupied by their guides because it’s amongst my many ambitions to be one of Esther Hick’s prodigies.
As I understand it one of my guides just speaks eloquent and non-colloquial English through me and… the other writes.
I’ve been occupied by a lot of strange energies – and in some cultures people like that are called Shamans. In hinduism there are dancers that get occupied by their Gods and they do some pretty weird looking shit too because they’re not dancing to look good for anyone. Every Classical Indian Dance move actually MEANS something.
I don’t live in a country like that. So the sooner this stuff becomes not weird the better and safer for me and people like me.