“All you can do is teach people to comfortably be themselves”
Wayne Dyer

Soften your glare, settle your dust: this is the primal identity. be like the tao – it can’t be approached or withdrawn from, benefitted or harmed. honoured or brought into disgrace. it gives itself up continually – that is why it endures

the more prohibitions you have, the less virtuous people will be. the more weapons you have, the less secure people will be. the more subsidies you have the less self reliant people will be. therefore the master says: I let go of the Law and people become honest. I let go of economics and people become prosperous. I let go of religion and people become serene. I let go of all desire for the common good, and the good becomes common as grass

Lao Tzu

I mean mostly I feel “fuck the tao” but there are some good bits

So I’m listening to the Tao for the first time. In sixth form an art teacher called Luanne told me that Winnie the Pooh was based on Taoist philosophy. There’s a CGI movie coming out soon about a grown up Christopher Robin and I’m excited about it. So it’s nice how this ties in.

Years ago I told a guy “I don’t really have any morals” and he said “wotz happened 2 ur morals?” – a lot of people have kind of held me to a good/bad standard of thinking, often judging me as being not-good… and those people often ended up being some of the most foul and terrible people I had ever encountered. For one reason or another.

I once held up a Spirited Away DVD to my teacher Lisa, and asked if the-then little boy – Joshua – that she was babysitting might enjoy it. I said “it’s quite spiritual and theres no concept of good or bad” – years ago following a break up from a nigh on four year relationship I slept for a long time. Then I met someone else and he was fun for a little while but actually a revelation of sorts about the extent of cruelty you can be afforded by someone that says the words “I love you”. So I guess I’d have said to the person that asked me “Whats happened to your morals?” I’d say I transcended them. Which is perhaps a little petty but it’s my current personal truth. When you can fall asleep in a bad mood and wake up to find out there’s been a Planetary tragedy – you kind of accept that if somehow you’ve consistently throughout lives had to become a person who let go of hurts, that that karma returns to the planet whether you like it or not.

I applied to do an A Level in law and I haven’t heard back from the site. So I think this is all deeply important thinking on my part. I’ve been thinking on this for awhile – one time Wendy Williams said as I was thinking about it “If you’re going to study law – you don’t become a lawyer you  aim for Judge”. My Great Grandfather was a judge and when he decided the Jews deserved Israel post WW2 – he said “Everyone deserves a home”. Iunno – if you keep those one liner truths basic theres probably a lot of room for interpretation but ultimately those one liner truths sink into your subconscious and you learn through your own experience whether you find them accurate or not.

It’s also – the Tao – nice listening for me, as someone whose been a victim of both police and institutional brutality – which was in truth – no where near as bad as the shit people I thought of as family and friends did to me. Like – what would be the appropriate punishment for people who hadn’t been brought up to experience karmic magnitude?

Also I’m in a “bad” mood. Which means I’m thinking of everyone I’ve ever learned to dislike.

I’m more of a Sun Tzu who authored “The Art of War” person than a Lao Tzu person and its amusing to me – because I heard a fetus say once – AUDIBLY, and in a girl’s voice – “I’m a little sun drop”. At University a lecturer and I once sat in his office and he told me that the way I communicated was wrong. I said “IM NOT WRONG THOUGH” and he said “no you’re not, but the way you COMMUNICATE is wrong”. He told me to read “The Art of War”. I didn’t read the whole thing, I instinctively selected a few pages and those I believe have submerged into the deepest recesses of my consciousness and that is fine by me.

Although I do have a fantastic memory of one of the only people who ever gave me any of their time – who actually bought me a copy of that book – and read it in an “AZN” (it didn’t sound like any Engrish accent I have ever heard, dw) accent and that was quite nice, because at the time I was going through a lot of shit and it made me laugh. A lot.

I know my future sons name is Levi so it’s kind of nice to pretend that I’ll be hanging out with Sun Tzu and Lao Tzu.

I enjoy conflicting personalities – because it is through conflict that people grow, develop, evolve and better realise themselves.

Cos y’know, Palestinians believe themselves to be Arabs often… and I think Arabs have treated Palestinians worse than Israelis have. There’s no pretence from the Israelis, but from the Arabs there’s a whole lot of scape-goat nonsense. There are many Arab women who could afford to sacrifice a shopping spree in London or two to erect a decent few houses in Palestine.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Or do you not?

Published by KARINITA


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