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When I was little I had a few very serious male celebrity crushes.

Leonardo DiCaprio – because Romeo and Juliet.

Keanu Reeves – because of the Matrix.

Brad Pitt – because of the Mexican.

Vin Diesel – because of Chronicles of Riddick and xXx.

The Rock – Scorpion King

Also Ralph Fiennes in everything he has ever been in, ever

Only two of those made it into my personal hall of fame though – an old sort of friend called Amber (Actually I was just totally adoring of her mother – who was the coolest mother I had ever met) and her family had a laminating machine… Amber laminated pictures of Keanu for me into an A3 waterproof poster with Microsoft word hearts.

The other was Vin Diesel. I stole a little promotional thing of him as Riddick from Blockbusters and cut the pictures out and put them in my bus pass.

SINCE THAT I think only Ragnar has made it into my crush hall of fame, maybe. In character most likely. Maybe/possibly/potentially/with deep reflection and careful deliberation – but not too much
ultimately doubtfully …but y’know… not entirely so.
He’d have to take elocution lessons and stuff to be tolerable and I don’t know that his roles are well paid enough to afford that kind of tuition. Also I’d have to style him because I’ve seen how he dresses for interviews (they accidentally came on when I was listening to Fever Ray, I didn’t youtube them or anything) and uh, yeah, when your viking alterego is sharper looking and better dressed than you are, y’know. Y’know maybe make some choices about your character identity. He’s quite funny though. Wearing flipflops in public and not even, like, by force – out of actual choice. Actually the flipflops and the australian accent are specifically why he’s “undecided” on my crush list

But other than that all of my crushes are animated characters like Sesshomaru, the defining picture of our concept of masculinity probably wouldn’t let a man get away with that look/those vibes though – and so I’m grateful for that because it’d fuck my game up.

My female celebrity crushes were Jennifer Aniston as Rachel (from Friends), Angelina Jolie (As Lara Croft in Tomb Raider) (I was once in my dad’s flat and I said without thinking “WOAH SHES HOT” really loud.), Gemma Ward (I think theres an I.D issue of her in a flower crown that is completely unforgettable and actually thats probably why I actually ended up studying fashion – although I know I was drawing dresses with kimono sleeves back when I was 4/5), Courtney Love, Manko Suicide and Helena Bonham Carter

Oh also one time, me and this girl whose dad is a director or someshit for RADA were sitting in the cinema watching ‘My Summer of Love’ and we both were AUDIBLY obsessing over Emily Blunt – who went to Hurtwood House with my sister. Apparently she found the lesbinim scenes awkward which is deffo the only reason we’d never work. (im making a joke)

And… The Queen Bee in Earthworm Jim. Iunno if it counts but one time my friend (basically a babysitter, he met my teacher Lisa a few years ago who said he’d do really well. I think he’s pursuing some kind of doctorate in psychology?) Dan was blow-drying my hair for me in front of a mirror and I looked absolutely awful and I think I stuck my hip out and said “IM BEYONCE” as my hair blew across my face and who else could play BDSM Queen Bee???

FYI I’d want to play Queen Slug for a Butt

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