[Cut ties, see how it goes for you. You still don’t know how things work and you’ve still not learned how to treat people that know better. As far as I’m concerned you’ve walked away from a path much greater than any you could’ve achieved in your life.]
Do you know why they say you sell your soul for fame? Think. You are already the very centre of the Universe. You. Reading this. Whoever you are. When your physical is around for everyone to see – well. “Eyes are the window to the soul”. Stuff happens to your body. If you have great mental strength – you’ll survive that. If you don’t – it’ll drive you insane. And the thing about mental strength is… that scares people too.
I’ll give you a clue…
If you are full of personality, if you are difficult to influence – that is how you become “unique”. What is the importance of being unlike anyone else? But a much more interesting question yet – is why are some people so alike to you?
Some people only know to copy others. Sometimes it is better for people to copy you than it is for them to copy someone else. It’s not about being flattered, sometimes if people imitate you and attract your means of engaging with the life experience – you are saving them from something.
But also: some people are you in other bodies. There are only twelve of us wandering around.
When you look at something – for example – a piece of furniture that you like in a person’s home, or a garment that someone is wearing that you are drawn to like, you immediately share energy. And sometimes – through that exchange – people help us to achieve what we want. Have you ever noticed that when you made some kind of contact with someone, seemingly insignificant – that things began to change for you? A host of opportunities came your way – and then for example – you became nasty towards them for some reason… And those opportunities disappeared? Energy exchanges can elevate you or bring you down the pyramid.
When you look at something you don’t like and it enters into your thoughts – it becomes your experience also. Have you ever insulted someone for some aspect of their physical being – only to realise years later that you had the same “issue”? When you are forced to learn why you really don’t like something, sometimes it is because you are observing something in yourself that is unknown in your present – not that time is really important in this. Some people enter your experience to reflect you – some you from the past, some you from the future. Some you that you could be.
Now – on fame – imagine a WORLD looking at you, directing thoughts at you every time they made eye contact with you. Think of it as two cells reacting to one another. Think of it as a lot of attention that you are for the most part unaware of – being drawn your way. There’s a picture of me that broke the internet a few years ago and that attracted a LOT of attention. Actually I was very low-key about it, about three people I was connected with mentioned it to me and it was only in their doing so that I realised that I had broken the internet. It was no big deal to me… I saw it as a bit of fun. It was an important manifestation though – it both broke my life and saved it.
The person in that picture and myself were both victims of a very strange social sacrifice at the hands of the publication that used us. And it was no accident. Years after that photograph we were riddled with terrifying insecurities – I was a size zero that really believed she was still “fat” and the person I was photographed with was even skinnier than me.
The worst thing about being connected to inner knowing – is that I know I was roofied and raped by people that other people look up to as celebrities. Can I prove it? No. That cycle began somewhere – someone was the first person to do that to me. That is how karma works. If it has happened once it has happened many times. Do you know why I am unimpressed by celebrities? Because on both sides of my own family are royalty – they’re people who have changed the World in a time when that was not “congratulated” by celebrity. Although I didn’t grow up vastly wealthy I experienced vast wealth. I lost out on an inheritance because of that stupid article but I actually did a great thing towards helping influence people’s opinions of drugs. When people I knew looked at that picture they got upset because the drugs weren’t real. I was photographed drinking on the streets. I was photographed looking hella high. I was photographed in bed with another girl.
The only regret was that I feel like I made it okay for guys to be cheap and stingy. Don’t pretend to be poor. Don’t pretend to be anything you’re not when you’re pursuing women. And if you are poor – there is no shame in that either.
That “model” boyfriend is broke and working in retail – there’s no shame in retail but he’s really not even remotely talented. I’d of dated a broke artist if he had a talent worthy of respect.
You know how after a relationship – girls keep mementos? I have nothing in my home to remind me of him. I don’t think of him, I have no feelings about or towards him – not even anger apart from that he destroyed my friendships with women.
I had an ex boyfriend years ago that lived in with his mother in a council house – he only ever managed to get me three gifts in those years – a toy turtle, a necklace with a pearl sitting inside of a circle, and a wooden jewellery box from Ireland. If anyone tried to make me get rid of that jewellery box … well lets just say they couldn’t.
I know there’s this guy world called “the game”. Not hot. Just embarrassing.
Do you even understand the social implications of what that collection of photographs had? I used that entirely unexpected moment of fame to influence for the better. And only on a few occasions did strangers (dudes off tinder) really even mention it and they were pretty sly about it. If paps are following you around making your life a misery – THAT IS NOT THE WORST THING – if it happens it’s because you want it to.
The worst thing about that moment of fame was being gassed in my flat, being roofied and raped by people I thought were my friends and ultimately some how having reached a state of insecurity that my only concern was that I hadn’t had my body hair lasered off.
Isn’t it funny – it wasn’t paparazzi that ruined my life – it was the fucking “celebrities”.
If I wasn’t completely destroyed by being raped by people I trusted, it’s probably because it’s something that has in some form happened to me many times.
The notion that I could feel embarrassed about body hair, is a karma I have to confront before I get lasered again. The energy of self hate will transfer to some other body part – until I fix everything physically and the energy becomes some kind of need to change my personality. I have to answer – only to myself – why I don’t like myself.
I sat in the bathtub and thought “okay – why do I want to shave my legs? If I was talking to a little girl, what reason would I give her that wouldn’t also damage her?”
I have no fucking idea, without choosing to include someone else – as to why I shave my legs. “So I don’t get bullied” – so I’d be suggesting people have a right to bully you about your body hair.
“It doesn’t matter.” “I don’t care about it, whether it’s there or not” Why keep it then?
“It’s natural” – okay, so, why do I remove the hair on my upperlip? That’s natural too. I prefer not having it there – okay – but why? Why why why?
Oh – because I want to be feminine and my ideals of femininity tell me that body hair is masculine.
This is a basic thought journey – my ability to be aware of my actions and the need to ask why I’m doing something are just a basic exercise in a much grander practice.
The worst thing about being roofied and raped in a hospital was that my freedom was stolen from me by people I was forced to trust. When you go into a hospital, you don’t have a choice about what who is taking care of you – or what medications you have to take in order to get the fuck out.
My spiritual teacher would say – if you can learn to create a correlation between the intimate details of your karmic journey you can then learn to answer much, much bigger questions. That’s how you change the World, how you learn to heal – you change yourself & you heal yourself first. A friend called Porter told me that there was a bigger reason for what I went through and Lisa repeated that – she said “if you went through these things – it’s so that you could guide somebody else through it.”
You don’t need to watch the news – it’s only a reflection of whats going on internally. And when the news is a blatant lie, which it often is – oh – a man with “credentials” perched on a desk in a messy office, speaking informally – nothing more than some new way to be manipulated. He’s a normal guy.. he’s messy, just like me..! Na.
The only thing worse than knowing the truth… is knowing you’ve spent your life being force fed a lie that was masked as truth.
I’ve experienced life from both of these perspectives: the lies and the truth. Like the wifi symbol – truth makes itself known in levels – waves. Echoes.
They say you can “live” the truth, can you though. Do you have any idea how many lifetimes it would take for you to “live” the truth? How many perspectives you’d have to assume in order to both live and depict the truth?
And when you pick a person to tell the truth – to show you the truth – how do you select that person? Are they good looking? Are they average looking? Are they “ugly“? Are they well dressed? And what is their mis en scene? What are the motivations that they are prepared to share with you? If the Illuminati were to select a person to finally tell the World the truth of things – who on EARTH would they pick? Would it be another martyr like Jesus Christ? A person who could illustrate that power comes from within and has nothing to do with, oh iunno, followers on the internet – friends to influence you – a family? How do you pick these things?
The Illuminati would tell you that you DON’T pick these things – these are purposes ordained to fragments before their birth. A physical body is chosen as a coordinate of truth and those with whom that physical body engages throughout their lives until the time of their varying purposes are what programs them.
I joked about “Congo” with my spiritual teacher – I told her a little about him – and she said that when it comes to attraction (which is “emotions” of ANY kind – she said) you have to act fast. There is a window of time and if you miss it – the opportunity is forever lost.
Unless you have spent many life times alone, you can’t know what I do.
Yesterday I saw Lisa and Bernie. I told them about how the things that they had taught me had travelled throughout my University in ripples and that if I had not of met them before going to University – I would be dead.
I showed them my new business card – it’s a Salvador Dali painting of.. well. Me. Wink wink. It’s a co-creation now – me with a scorpions tale. My brother once had me stare at a jar of scorpions when I was a child, that he killed in the desert.
On one occasion I sat in Lisa’s room, on her bed. She showed me the news and furrowed a brow and said “This is a lie – what are they doing filming there?”
Intuitives do not watch the news. They don’t need to, they only need to acknowledge the butterfly effect & see whats going on in their very immediate surroundings.
No “Zionist Agenda” would ever be to cause harm to Jews & in thinking so you’d be deeply mistaken. It does not matter who you are. If someone is causing harm to a Jew – they’re not a Zionist. They may be Israeli, they may be Jewish – but they’re not a Zionist. There are twelve geographical points of which Jews are deserving of a home – the people who reside in those points are Jews and therefore they are included in what anyone might describe as a “Zionist Agenda”. Arabs are Jews. Any Jew or Israeli who might abuse a Palestinian outside of self defence is really harming their own family. That is the Zionist agenda.
Imagine if the Native Americans had been persecuted outside of the United States – and proceeding a mass genocide they were told they could have a piece of land in the United States… to avoid losing six million or so of their own people ever again. Israel is before anything a place for Jews to go in the event of persecution. My Great Grandfather said “everybody deserves a home.”
So… imagine that these Native Americans, recovering from a genocide – were then given a tiny piece of land (in comparison to the vast land that they occupied historically) – and this tiny piece of land had them surrounded by people that had been religiously programmed to hate them. Reclaiming that land would take a long time. A lot of conflict.
Most Americans, in fact most people that have an opinion about Israel’s existence have what they do through theft – of some kind.
The people living in Israel are the children and children’s children’s children of survivors of a Genocide – Afro-Americans are STILL recovering from the impact of slavery.
Abuse is a generational curse ingrained in our DNA.
When you have a person with bipolar or PTSD – doctors often liken the “illness” to a psychic wound – and it’s understood that certain behaviours in others can “trigger” that wound to open. Experiencing something traumatic has an impact that travels through generations. I don’t personally believe an Israeli could get away with telling their superior that they used a bullet, paid for with Israeli taxes – to kill someone for putting up a flag. Did this person dig a hole, fill it with cement, procure a flag-pole and then raise this flag in front of the Israeli military? If so – what was their motivation and what would they have expected to achieve in doing so?
When you go super high to a few classes for a film degree none of the shit you’re shown on television is ever going to be all that real again.
I said this years ago – in a fight with a surrogate family who otherwise weren’t all that interested in politics… you need some kind of education to have an opinion about anything. And no – that does not mean an education force fed to you by teachers or the media. An education that involves learning how to observe and how to develop emotional intelligence – empathy. And then learning to connect dots.
But if a religious education is really want you want… Start here: Islam would not exist without Judaism. Nor would Christianity. Don’t like reading it? Then you need to work out why you’re so opposed to hearing the truth – what inner programming have you manifested into your life to make you that way?
If you are afraid of being mistaken, afraid of challenging what you know – of accepting that like many, the information you have been receptive to thus far are lies you were force fed – and rather than learning how to seek the truth from within you: you chose to continue your own negative cycles which then projected into opinions about things that have absolutely nothing to do with you – well then I suppose the first truth you have to learn is that you have a LOT to learn.
The pursuit of spirituality is – firstly – ego death. Pain.
The ego that must die – if you choose to grow – is the one that cannot allow your inner being to receive what you need to learn from your true teachers. The ego that is rebirthed – the child ego – is inclined to receive information at not only an accelerated level – but also from a place of love – that is – white light.
Give twelve people a word and they will each associate some meaning to and with it – based on their twelve personal experiences. The thing about subjectivity, discussion and even the personal experience and the excess of emotion – is that how it is experienced and the information absorbed still isn’t always correct objectively. It takes time to arrive at answers, truth is so multi-layered that when you finally truly reach it: it is dark and light. Thats it. That is the ultimate truth of anything. The North and South pole is some kind of metaphor for you. Positive and Negative ions. Plus and Minus.
You pick up a tarot deck and eventually you learn that in whatever order they are selected – whatever position each card holds in a spread – those cards are repeating the same story, leading you up & through the pyramid. Your cycles. The awareness of the archetypal energy with which you choose to engage with your cycles can be what changes your story.
As you ascend, your suffering minimises – but you look beneath and you have empathy for others that it is not your place to help at all.
I asked Lisa if she saw my family being acknowledged for who they are. She said “there is great depression in that role”. She said that if my family were acknowledged as royalty that it would depress me. And I spent hours just thinking about why she thought that and this afternoon I arrived at my answer. How lucky I experienced a tough time and got a happy & physical-eternal ending – for the most part of that life path, I’m just an observer.
The only way to know empathy is to attract a series of experiences that can in some way teach you how those twelve people came to any kind of conclusion of the meaning of that word.
Would you rather live a lie out of arrogance and a refusal to accept a truth? Some people are stupid. Including Israelis. The truth hurts me more than it hurts you.
“You’re either with us or you’re against us” – My Family.
You need help and there was no one better to give it to you. I know who is in my vortex and I know who reads what I write – the information that entered the collective conscience through the information my teachers gave me. Know how to identify a teacher. Learn from your teachers. Credit your teachers. Have respect for your teachers. Know your cycles.
The theft and manipulation of knowledge for personal self gain – what archetype is that? Lilitu. Revenge energy. And if you go further back – that is Lucifer energy. Hades energy. Lucifer’s empathies towards Eve. Hades and Persephone.
But then you wonder – why would Lilith do that? – That is actually where you acquire a sense of empathy. The unwritten story. Asking for the opinion you wouldn’t think to. Adam and Eve got to eat the “apple” – and many millions of years later we have “google” – a source leading to information authored by the collective consciousness.
But what of Lilith? Why was she responsible for their actions and expelled from Eden? What path hasn’t she walked?
The reason that there are twelve souls occupying the Planet in what Seth (channelled by Jane Roberts) would describe as being in the midst of “simultaneous lives” is that we do the same thing, over and over again … throughout the Universe. The only way you can be different or unique – is to do & think something different and unique with such consistency that the only aspect of you that is predictable is that you are not predictable. The trend setters of the past would be women who would wear an outfit out once – and see women copying it in variations for generations to come. That is the influence Kanye discusses when he laughs in an interview about the Paparazzi photographing his outfits.
What is the significance of the girl in the Red Dress in the Matrix? She’s a ‘program’ that turns heads, that attracts attention. So – how do you ‘write’ a person, as a program, that attracts attention? You start with a ‘person’ who had to learn how to garner attention. What is the positive of the girl in the Red Dress? What might she make a woman that identifies as heterosexual feel? Jealousy – the result of jealousy can be a potential self improvement – conversely it can simply be overwhelming insecurity which can cause damage. Sexual feelings? Evolutionary growth beyond a given sexuality-based morality.
Why are people so easily influenced by embarrassment? What stops people from doing the things that they want to do? Feelings of embarrassment, most commonly.
I guess this choice of business card requires some explanation.
The zodiac symbols hold truths that most people would find difficult to discuss. Do you have any awareness of strange energetic pains in your body? What do you know about the male gaze?
The only people who can avoid danger by discussing truths like these are people sitting at the top of the pyramid. And the people you think to sit on the top of the pyramid really aren’t – if you are easily manipulated, if you’re easily influenced, if your sense of personal power comes from – for example – belittling or ’embarrassing’ others – (intentions matter) … you don’t deserve your seat. It’ll be taken from you in a click of fingers.
The thirteenth soul is still very much waiting around. The thirteenth soul embodies the moon. Tells me about deceit, hidden truth – who to watch out for.