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I’ve spent the last of the cash in my bank account, which was very little (I’m so lucky to be living at home… This is the kind of irresponsible shit I used to pull when I was smoking an eighth of weed a day. But at least it’s an investment right? Actually I think this creative energy justifies that time I spent smoking weed – the inspiration’s all coming around my way and it’s refreshing.)

So… I wanted to do a digital painting. I’m painting on top of a photograph I took of myself as a reference for my graphic novel. I really tried doing a tutorial – this one was pretty good – the woman speaking is really thorough and her technique is incredible – you can tell she’s intense. I just wanted to scribble. Basically I paused the video & skipped through the stages of her piece and kind of winged it (but really if you’re a good enough teacher that mere film-stills can improve your standard of work .. you should be charging a fortune to be tutoring people or something.)

So I’m focusing my energies on listening to mature women (Esther Hicks, Dr Donda & Wendy Williams I’m lookin’ at youuuuu) yet also kind of thinking of Eyal and Stan Lee & Jason Atomic and I’ve come out with this…

It’s weird to say – but I truly feel like I’ve dreamt of Dr Donda West before. I knew what her voice sounded like before I had ever heard it. I found this chat of hers deeply important – I worked all through the night. Actually my sleeping pattern is pretty messed up.. I’m sleeping through the day and working through the night. But I do better work at night at the moment. It’s not a long term thing – but it’s temporary fun. I’m sure I’ll make sense of why upon reflecting back.

I wish I could do my make up this well

IT’S NOT FINISHED OK

also.. WATCH ME MORPH INTO LIL KIM

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The Artist I commissioned >> link to her instagram << for my YouTube thumbnail has actually really made me want to try my hand at digital painting. I can’t do what she can but life without ambition is boring right??

Actually that was some little thought-breakthrough I made today – I often look at artists and think “I wish I could paint/draw/scribble/sculpt like that -” and some thought responded to that desire quite bluntly – being an artist is expressing your self – if I really like what someone else is creating I should commission them to do something for me, not imitate them.

I wrote before that I’m kind of developing my creative identity – doing a lot of different things – I don’t believe there is anything I’m good at. I guess that means that I must be comparing myself to some future me?

Thats a really nice thought

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