Inspired by – and by inspired I mean I completely ripped off – >> this pin <<

I was thinking of some shitto from essex who clearly failed year 8 biology & probably doesn’t know what beta means

(I fucking LOVE urban dictionary like, it’s just so much more fun than the oxford dictionary. It’s a kinda more comprehensive take on the English language isn’t it? who really gives a fuck about the oxford dictionary??? does ANYONE?!)

[I can’t take credit for this, I’m pretty rubbish at the sciences too but it’s called a genetic diagram & basically explains how two dark haired people can’t actually have a blonde haired and blue eyed baby]

That’s what you get for marrying a cheating picasso painting (like, once you’ve seen one of them you’ve seen them all & they’re only “valuable” because of the name of the dude wot painted them and they’re not really all that nice to look at, lets be honest) & calling me

(P.S I might be HIDEOUSLY ugly but I know THE best plastic surgeons in this country and I really don’t think I’ve got anything wrong with me that can’t be fixed.)
(P.S.S So0o. Tell me… super-hottie-ultra-good lookin’ sex-bomb…HOW are you gonna fix this tiny problem????)

What options do you have??????? Gee I guess you’ll just have to master a way of getting laid without anyone seeing the junk in yr trunk, won’t you (what happened to the other half of it?!?)

I’m actually contemplating having this made into a t-shirt, or postcard or frame-able of some kind. Is he still doing a book tour? I could set up a little table outside & live my merch girl teen-dream, selling fantabulous memorabilia to his super-creepy fans)

(P.S.S.S Jesus Christ, you could’ve grown some fucking pubes cos the effeminate thing doesn’t work for you.)

I’ve always *loved* effeminate guys… They’re the most beautiful thing this Planet has going for it. Sincerity, kindness & sensitivity are kind of like aphrodisiacs or something. I mean I know some guys fake it to get laid but the truth always comes out in the end.